What is your advice about the rightfulness or otherwise of appropriating the free toiletries usually provided in hotel and guesthouse en suite bathrooms? What about ones I haven’t broached? Are they fair game as part of the price of the room, or am I being a bit of a cheapskate? Though now that large bottles of toiletries are not allowed through airport security, the little ones are extremely useful.

Anonymissus, Deal

I suppose that by impossibly absolute Savonarolan standards, to take free soap and shampoo from your hotel bathroom might be considered sharp practice. But most people do it and the managers and chamber-persons of hotels expect it. So do not feel too guilty. On the other arm, to remove hotel towels, clothes hangers and dressing gowns is stealing, and not to be countenanced; though I am told that it happens.

There is a woman in my office who is about the same age and rank as I am and who seems friendly and thoughtful, but a bit reserved. I would like to become (Platonic) friends with her, but don’t want to intrude or give her the wrong idea as to my intentions (I’m happily married). Can you advise as to how I should deal with her?

Paul Marsdon, Sydney, Australia

With tact and friendship. Find a topic of mutual interest. Have a laugh together about the ludicrous aspects of office life. Invite her out for a drink or a coffee at lunch or after work. Talk about your family. Take pains to ensure that she does not misapprehend that you are making a pass at her. Later, you may want to invite her home for supper with the family. Friendships between the sexes without any pursuit of sex are admirable and precious.

On the whole I am happy with my GP. However, when I do go for a blood test I notice small things that make me cringe. For example, I have seen the nurse place an unsheathed needle onto her keyboard to record some information. Other times they may not have washed their hands before a procedure, or taken out a swab that does not have a cover from the cupboard. What is the best way to say something without upsetting everyone?

Anne Dell, the Surgery

If the slipshod nurse does something that is potentially dangerous, you should mention it to her, self-deprecatingly not grumpily. “Oops! Shouldn’t that needle have a cover?” Light laugh? I would not attempt it, except in extreme circs. We do not want to acquire a reputation as a Flapping Phil. We must not offend the amour-propre of professionals, unless we are sure that they are behaving in a truly unprofessional and dangerous way.

A former housekeeper came to tea and asked our smallest grandson how old he was. “Six and a quarter,” he said, and innocently added: “How old are you?” Up to what year may a child be politely small-talked about his or her age? And up to what point do the rules of etiquette allow a child to ask a lady the same question?

Robert Maxtone Graham, Sandwich

Up until secondary school age it is OK (though rather boring) to ask a child her or his age. Part of education, for which we are responsible, is to teach our children that it is indiscreet and impolite to ask somebody farther on in our cruise on this Ship of Fools what his or her age is. Part of good manners is not to be embarrassed or cause embarrassment by our reaction to indiscretions from the mouths of babes and sucklings. Most of us can turn aside childish gaffes with a smile.