P. J., from Plymouth, asks: “What is the polite way to refuse an invitation from a boring acquaintance to a party in October?”

Economy with the truth is polite. To reply: “No thanks; I find you boring,” would be unkind and rude. If you invent a previous engagement, make sure that you are not observed otherwise engaged by a tattling mutual acquaintance. Wotthehell, accept and go determined to be the life and soul of the party. PH

Hew Lothian, Perth: “Emigrate in September.”

David Agress, Newport Beach, California: “Feign a previous invitation to a pumpkin-carving contest — sufficiently tedious that your acquaintance will never suspect it is their own boring company that is actually at issue.”

John Boyle, Ruswarp, N. Yorks: “Say ‘Thank you for the invitation, but I will not be there’. To the inevitable ‘Why?’: ‘I will be uncomfortable at your party.’ If pressed further: ‘I won’t be there.’ (Change the subject.) If your friend is boring, why continue the friendship?”

Readers are invited to send their responses to this week’s question by September 20. A selection will be printed in a fortnight.

I am an untidy eater, or so my partner tells me. I spill food down my shirt. Is this a major social offence?

Harry Harvey, Middlesbrough

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