How can I persuade my little Charlie (aged 8) to enjoy his maths homework? He hates it, and I am exhausted helping him.

M. J. Usher, Edinburgh

Some enjoy sums; some endure them; some simply do not connect. We cannot all achieve the maths of Newton or Archimedes. All we can do is our best. Encourage your Charlie to attempt his sums, in short doses, with breaks. And find some intellectual subject that he enjoys. All children need a little triumph.

I understand that an English gentleman traditionally wears a signet ring. What is the significance? Does it matter how it is worn, for example, can it be worn on any finger on either hand?

Professor Harvey E. R. Fitz Crichton, Oxford

In our age of gummed envelopes and postage stamps, rings are no longer needed to stamp sealing wax. So signet rings are male jewellery. Vanity, vanity, all is vanity. I am not sure that English gentlemen wear them. And very few rings carry the family emblems of the wearer. Cromwell and the Puritans observed all such male rings through narrowed eyes. The direction of the emblem on the ring is pure piffle-poffle. The Stoic gent makes life simpler by keeping his fingers free. If you believe in ring superstition (don’t) a ring on the forefinger is supposed to indicate a haughty, bold and overbearing spirit. Worn on the middle finger a ring denotes prudence, dignity and discretion; if on the marriage finger, love and affection; And if on the little finger, a masterful spirit.

While watching a televised promenade concert I was irritated to hear the presenters constantly refer to Brahms’s (Brahmses) symphony. I would always style it Brahms’ (Brahms). Who is right?

Wendy Davies, Ottery St Mary

It was formerly customary, when a word ended in “s”, to write its possessive with an apostrophe but no additional “s”, eg Achilles’ thews. In verse, and in poetic or reverential contexts, this custom is retained, and the number of syllables is the same as in the subjective case, eg Achilles’ has three syllables, not four. Jesus’ or of Jesus, not Jesuses. But elsewhere we now add the “s” and the syllable, St James’s not St James’ and Jones’s children. Personally, I would treat Brahms like Jesus or Socrates, Brahms’, sic. But either is possible. (Brahmses is naff.) But let us be tolerant of different tribes.

When is it correct, in your eyes, for me to wear my former student tie? It is smart and handsome.

Peter Gibb, Perth

Whenever it takes your fancy, dear Old Boy. You are flaunting pride in your alma mater, which is an honourable and loyal emotion. How handsome is handsome. Surely not the pink, purple, scarlet and green stripes of the Crieff Academy? You may wear whatever pleases you around your neck. Some Timons of Athens may think you elitist or a swank. The dogs may bark, but the caravan moves on its handsome neckties.

The husband of an acquaintance has died. Should I write? I would like to write a letter, but don’t know what to say.

A.M.M., Sudbury

Yes. You should write what is formally known as “a letter of condolence”. One of the griefs of widowhood is being neglected by friends and acquaintances, out of embarrassment and their own sorrow. The best letters in these circs contain happy reminiscences of the dear departed. Easy on the sorrow, heavy on the happy memories.