I am an untidy eater, or so my partner tells me. I spill food down my shirt. Is this a major social offence?

Harry Harvey, Middlesbrough

Minor, not major. Sam Johnson, the secular patron saint of English manners, was a notoriously messy feeder. To splash egg on one’s tie (suppose oneself to be wearing a tie) is a feeding flaw, and offends the fastidious. One may be clumsy. One may be greedy. One may be hungry. But one should force oneself to eat more slowly. It is more offensive to be dull, or morose or silent at table than messy. PH

Elizabeth Ambler, Exeter: “For someone who is young enough to get away with such behaviour, you express yourself in an intriguingly grown-up way. It must be quite a tight fit in the highchair by now.”

David Agress, Newport Beach, California: “Spilling food down the front of your shirt is pretty gross behaviour. On the other hand, if you’re able to work it in to a comedy bit, there is every possibility that you could become a viable theatrical attraction — just ask Jerry Lewis.”

Dennis Passingham, Norwich: “Only if you try to suck it off during the meal, or say ‘Mmm, I’ll finish that later’.”

Readers are invited to send their responses to this week’s question by October 4. A selection will be printed in a fortnight.

I find it hard to make conversation at cocktail parties. Any advice, please.

I. L., Clapham