I am a virtual vegetarian. I really do not enjoy meat. Is it correct etiquette to let my hostess know this before accepting an invitation?

Margaret Davies, Marylebone

Yes. Previous generations were less sensitive and faddy than ours. They at least made a pretence of enjoying what they were served. We are less tolerant and more aware of allergies. The Stoic munches his way through gritty beef olives with an appearance of appreciation. The Cynic hides what he cannot stomach beneath mashed potato. The Epicurean eats whatever is put before him with relish. The good guest lets her hostess know what she cannot eat, if she has valid medical or superstitious reasons. At all costs avoid getting into self-righteous pseudo-ethical arguments about food over dinner.

Can I wear a spotty bow-tie with my DJ?

A. J. M., Bury St Edmunds

Anything that you wear makes a statement, according to my Fashion Editrice. Those who wear spotted or coloured bow-ties with their dinner jackets are saying: “Look at me. I am sporty, arty and fun.” Jeeves would disapprove. But Jeeves is not our valet. Bertie would wear a spotty bow-tie, and so might “Catsmeat” Pirbright, the Beau Brummel of the Drones Club. Do so, if you consider yourself in their team.

I have always been intrigued by the significance of the number 72 in Islamic culture (eg, the number of virgins awaiting martyrs in Paradise). Mathematically it is a pleasing number, being the product of the cube and square of the first two prime numbers (2 cubed x 3 squared). Is this the possible explanation?

W. M. F. Leat, Fulbourn

There is a gratifying magic in numbers. And Arabs have traditionally been good at sums. But I should reckon that 72 virgins were too many even for the most murderous mad “martyr”.

Is it good manners to set aside my knife and use my fork only to eat with? My girlfriend says not.

Paul Jameson, Sheffield

To eat with fork only is American table manners, and casual manners in southern England. Perfectly OK among friends and acquaintances. Sloppy at the Mansion House or Buckingham Palace. It also depends on what you are eating. Fork only better with slop such as Irish stew, unadvisable with tricky birds such as partridge. Follow your hostess and girlfriend.

By the time the cheeseboard reaches me its knife is “soiled” by cheeses other than the one I select. How does one overcome this?

Reg Gale, Lighthorne

Fastidious Trimalchio! The cheeseboard should carry a napkin with it. You could wipe the knife on the napkin. You could clean it by cutting the apple that should accompany cheese. You could clean the cheese knife by first cutting a small slice of Edam or some other hard cheese and discarding the slice. Only a slob would mix his Cheddar with his Roquefort, on the greedy ground that cheese is cheese.

Is it correct to wear a black tie to a memorial service?

Alan Wimbush, Scarborough

In London and other cities a black tie is OTT, except perhaps for close members of the family of the dear departed. Club, Old Boy and regimental ties are in order. The country is more conservative than the town. In Darkest Mudshire, black ties will predominate. A memorial service is a celebration. So we should dress to honour our lost friend.