I seethe inwardly when one particular lunch guest insists on throwing open my windows “because I’m too warm” and moves my furniture “because it’s a health hazard — someone will fall over it”. Should I stop inviting them? Am I overreacting?

A. Fuss-Pott, E Sussex

Astounding Aeolus! Keeper of Fresh Air. Your friend is presumptuous and downright impertinent. You have to decide whether the pleasure of his friendship cancels the rudeness of his behaviour. Why do I assume that your pushy friend is male? But I do. I might try to make a sarcastic remark, when he next flings open the windows. But why introduce sarcasm into what is meant to be a cheerful meeting of friends.

I took a considerable amount of time and trouble devising a seating-plan for a formal dinner party of about 40 friends, many of whom did not know each other. Was I justified in feeling cross when one of my friends re-arranged her end of the top table?

Mary AnonyMissus, Cambridge

Surprised? Yes. Peeved? Possibly. But cross may be going too far. Your friend showed bad manners in rearranging your seating plan. But you should not allow a minor lapse of etiket to spoil your fun. What a pushy friend! About 40 to a formal dinner? I know now that Cambridge is the centre of civility.

We have been told that “our” present will be given to a charity this year. While I am quite happy for this to happen, I would have preferred to be told which charity, since it may be something that I do not support.

Jean Shell, Hendon

By Ceres, Queen of Bounty. Not mean and unreasonable. But optimistic. Melchior, Caspar and Balthazar, the first Wise Men, set us an example of bearing gifts at this time of year. And they left no doubt about whom their presents were meant for. We cannot all be as wise as the Magi. But we should honour their spirit. Let it pass. Give generously to those who need it.

Is it good manners to send your friends a new year card?

Alison Lawson, Stokesley

I do not know about manners, but it is a loving act to warm our friendships at the beginning of a new year. I reckon that that is the root of the Caledonian custom of first-footing. There is a lot of superstition at this tipping-point of the seasons. New Year’s Eve or Day used to be one of the key times for divination. Particularly popular was “dipping” into the Bible and reading aloud a passage to predict how the coming year would be. Many put their faith in whom they met first on New Year’s Day, preferring certain types of people for luck (as in first-footing). Be that as it may, this is a good time to contact one’s friends.

What should I do about first-footing?

A. J. M., Brighton

Depends on your age, inclination and location. England has lost almost all of its new year traditional customs or beliefs. For most English people, New Year’s Eve is either spent quietly at home, or at a party which lasts until midnight “to see the new year in”. In Trafalgar Square, or Brighton’s equivalent these days. It would help if we could learn more than two lines of the chorus of Auld Lang Syne, The best-known version is by Robert Burns. The boisterous surging in and out while it is being sung is a modern innovation. It used to be restricted to the last chorus, and was performed elegantly, not like a Rugga Bugga scrum.