Is tucking a napkin into the collar more or less gross than sporting a food-stained shirt or tie for the rest of the session? I stick the napkin into my collar, and damn the pretensions of southern English people, with their nannies and prep schools.

Neville Peel, Hyde

Good for you, sir. Cleanliness and comfort before the conventions of snobs, who are not exclusively southern English. Wear your napkin with pride.

I put out white fabric table napkins at every meal. Our children, and grandchildren and all visitors younger than us, never use them. Should I give up putting out serviettes, as I still call them?

Jill Brown, Cirencester

Artful Artemis! Queen of the aegis, the original napkin! Certainly not. Carry on with the table customs to which you were educated. Manners are constantly changing. Man Maketh Manners as much as the opposite. The napkin still has a practical function (for wiping one’s hands, dabbing one’s mouth and protecting one’s tie or blouse). It is an elegant accessory to eating as a fine art. The elegance may rub off on your children. In any case, our children deserve the best, whether or not they appreciate it.

I usually correct friends’ children who don’t use please and thank you when a parent is not present. Should I continue to do so in the presence of the parents?

Mike Stand, Wirral

Nicely-Nicely St Nicholas! Patron of children. Only if you are on extremely friendly relations with the parents. Otherwise they may interpret your intervention as a criticism of their parenting. We should tread warily with other people’s children.

I usually wear a traditional cloth cap in order to protect my follicle-depleted pate from inclement weather conditions. It also, I believe, confers a certain aura of Britishness to me. Should I take the cap off on entering a public place, such as a library or the supermarket?

Sam Banik, Muswell Hill

By social climbing petit Duc de Saint Simon! Gents always remove headgear when entering a private house. In public indoor places such doffing is optional. It would be ostentatious to keep your cap on in a library, but not in a gym, supermarket or swimming pool. As a general rule, it is safer to uncover indoors wherever. It saves worry. And stuff your cap in your pocket.

My parents are invited to the “OBE” of one of their friends in France. My father would like to present something nice to his friend. What would be appropriate?

Aurelie Sauvayre, Gaul

By John of God, Patron of Booksellers! I should think a handsome edition of some new book about his profession, which your father’s friend has not had time to acquire. This is an occasion for a dignified present that honours and has a long shelf-life. Don’t give him ephemeral booze.

Is it bad manners to forward an e-mail to a third party without first asking for the original sender’s permission?

Kazue Aizawa, London NW8

Yes — just as it would be impertinent to show private written letters to others, unless they are family, and the contents amiable chiff-chaff. The global information explosion has made public anything we commit to cyberspace. Be careful: big sister or the local gossip may be reading you.