In the not so distant past, you had to be careful telling people that you were having a green wedding. You’d lose friends faster than you could say “I do”. Imagining a grim affair, they’d mutter something about not liking lentils and then magically discover that they had something else on that weekend. Another wedding perhaps: one in Mauritius, with Missy Elliott on the decks.

That was before green became cool. Long before Sienna Miller’s sister had a hippy wedding and pronounced her vows in a tepee. That was back when wearing a vintage frock and flashing a conflict-free sparkler wasn’t the only socially acceptable way to cruise the aisle.

Now include the word ‘green’ in discussions about your wedding and you commend yourself to the swelling ranks of discerning consumers who hold organic dinner parties and discuss biofuels over their roasted butternut squash. Today’s environmentally enlightened couples want their values - seen in weekly trips to the farmers market and special attention given to rubbish bins - to be reflected in their big day. This is understandable, when you consider that most weddings clock up a heavy carbon imprint, involving food miles, transport costs and huge amounts of waste - never mind all the stress-related energy squandered.

Even the Church of England, not always at the trends frontline, is spearheading the craze with a pocket-sized guide called Making the Most of Weddings. It suggests that we embrace an eco-friendly approach to spare our pockets and our sanity, as well as the environment. Reverend Andrew Body, an ex-Relate councillor, wrote the book, responding to news that the average wedding now costs £17,000. With an admirable eye for thrift, Body suggests borrowing a wedding dress from a charity shop, buying a second-hand ring and asking guests to bring a bottle (which, by most people’s books, is an eco-step to far).

If you’re dubious about taking the advice of a vicar, let me introduce Holly Aquilina, who tied the knot in sustainable style in Brighton last summer. She wore a dress picked up on eBay for £75, used an organic catering company and involved her extended family in making decorations. Of note were her grandfather’s flower vases, made from painted baked bean cans. “It was a conventional wedding with green twists,” Aquilina tells me. “Guests wouldn’t have known that they were officially at a green wedding.”

She stresses that there is no right or wrong way to play such an event. The level of commitment is up to you: the day can be as light or dark green as you wish. While some couples may be happy with a few light-hearted, lime-coloured twists - a crate of organic bubbly (organic-champagne.co.uk) here and a box of biodegradable confetti (confettidirect.co.uk) there (to stop chemicals leaking into the soil from the conventional variety or swelling in the stomachs of birds) - others go hardcore. They work out ways to reduce travel emissions by posting lift-share details on their own website (theweddingtracker.co.uk ) and ask guests to make charity donations (oxfamunwrapped.com) instead of providing the usual toast racks and teapots.

However committed you are, it’s more impressive if you resist shouting about it from the steeple. That’s when a green bride – or groom – risks becoming a bore. Whether yours is an unapologetic planet-trashing bash or a leafy green affair, a wedding is not an excuse to show off. Anyway, it’s far more impressive when someone quietly gets on with saving the planet.

“The fact is it’s impossible to have a totally green wedding, unless you’re happy to have no guests and walk to the local register office,” says Aquilina. “That wouldn’t do as you want the day to be enhanced by its eco-status, not held back.”

But it’s hard to deny that eco-worrying must add to the anxieties that already deprives brides-to-be of beauty sleep. Surely sourcing Fairtrade napkins woven by indigenous Bolivian farmers is the first thing to go when it all gets too much? Unless you’ve hooked up with a green wedding planner, an emerging tribe in the juggernaut that is the wedding industry.

Last year, Ruth Culver set up greenweddings.org.uk, after 18 years of working as an event manager. The aim was to help couples reduce the carbon imprint of their nuptials, without comprising on their fabulousness. “Generally people only consider the environmental cost of their wedding if they already have an interest in this subject,” she says. “But it’s changing. There’s been an explosion of interest in green services. My clients are generally in their thirties.”

Help is also at hand with a new website, Green Union (greenunion.co.uk), set up last November by green wedding planner Rosie Ames. It provides a one-stop database for eco-aware couples. “It’s a stressful time trying to make this perfect day come true,” she says. “On top of that, searching for ethical suppliers is not easy.” Ames launched the site after realising there was a demand for caterers, florists and marquee operators that took account of the environment, without there being the resources to help people find them.

“My customers usually focus on the flowers and the food,” she says. “They don’t want cut roses that have been flown half way across the world, and they want local, seasonal food.” Given enough warning, Ames will grow the flowers herself in her organic smallholding in Devon. Failing that, she’ll put clients in touch with Fairtrade suppliers, or local shops that can provide plants that guests can take home after the wedding. As for food, she checks the credentials of caterers and encourages couples to compost leftover fare.

Whatever you choose to do, it’s recommended that it tallies with your interests and what you care about. If you're secretly longing to receive a heap of presents, don’t force yourself down the charity donations path. Instead, you could choose to have a wedding list at an eco-friendly store (thenaturalstore.co.uk; greenfibres.com) or combine charity gifts with proper ones (thealternativeweddinglist.co.uk).

Far from being a green angel, you can just as easily dazzle guests by concentrating on a few areas. This is cause for celebration for anyone contemplating an environmentally honourable wedding. And as well as bringing character and style to the party, you secure a trump card should you start your married life by joining the organic dinner party set.

Anna Shepard is not yet married, but after seven years shacked up with her beau, she is beginning to wonder what would be the point.

Read more of Anna’s wisdom in Saturday’s Body & Soul and at www.timesonline.co.uk/ecoworrier