Hannah Betts
Win a fitness package worth more than £3,000

Anyone who has ever entered the phrase “gay wedding” into youtube – and who among us has not? - will have noted the preponderance of American teenagers enjoying mock same-sex unions, with disclaimers to the effect that: “No one in this video is gay – like, totally”. The Hitch would welcome interpretations of this sub-genre. Are these pubescents entry-level homophobics, or are they counter-cultural freedom fighters championing the love that dare not speak its name until college? Readers, you decide.
Is this the most stereotypical gay wedding ever? Thank you, Identikit Couple, with your emphasis on dressing to conceal manboobs, smudgin’ white witches, and the omnipresent Xtina - you are beautiful, no matter what they say.
I’m sorry, but who wouldn’t want a lesbian wedding after taking a tour of Cheryl and Monica’s nuptial iconography: so tasteful, so exquisitely lit, so digging those matching trains.
Does anyone believe that there is a husband, or at least, one that hasn’t been chopped into a thousand bite-sized pieces? Who did this man’s make up? Is he in panto this season? This video is a classic even before the dog’s snout looms over his master’s crotch.
4) Whimsical Lesbians Seek Help Picking Wedding Outfits
Girls, eh? Loving the notion of getting hitched in one’s pjs, although a greying aerobics bra wouldn’t be The Hitch’s loungewear of choice.
5) Wedding Bell Blues - Mitt Romney Edition
Drag Diva Deborah’s retort to Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney, notorious opponent of same-sex unions. Performed on the second anniversary of the legalization of gay marriage in Massachusetts, the state Romney formerly governed.
In dark times, all of us need to embrace our inner Drag Diva Deborah: her throbbing vibrato, her slinky dignity, and, above all, her impeccable restraint in rhyming “Mitt” with “twit”. Debs, we at The Hitch salute you. You go, girlfriend.
Those lyrics in full:
GAY WEDDING BELL BLUES - To Governor Romney
Mitt, I've heard your rants, I wish you'd quit
Just listen to you and hear your passion against gays
(Oh, but you're never gonna take my wedding day)
I was on your side Mitt when you were cruisin'
To win your seat, but since then, there's been some foolin'
Your lies and deceit won't carry me ‘til you marry me, Mitt
Your scare tactics, they're quite a hit
From 'activist judges' to 'social decay' that you foretell
(Oh, but you're never gonna take my wedding bells)
I won't support White House running, but I'll be lonely
You're too rich, white, straight, and cunning, they're loving you only
Your lies and deceit won't carry me, come on marry me, Mitt
I loathe you so, you pious twit
Your righteous religion rules the law- that's not allowed!
(Oh, but you're never gonna steal my wedding vows)
Oh, come on, Mitt
Oh, come on, Mitt
Come on and marry me, Mitt
I got the wedding bell blues
Please marry me, Mitt
I got the wedding bell blues
Marry me, Mitt (less)
Send in your own favourite links or footage to thehitch@thetimes.co.uk

Celebrity wedding planner Peregrine Armstrong-Jones reveals his top ten places to get hitched
Slide ShowIndustry sectors news at a glance. Interactive heatmap, video and podcast
The inside track on current trends in the charity, not for profit and social enterprise sectors
Read our exclusive 100 Years of Fleming and Bond interactive timeline, packed with original Times articles and reviews
Everything the Business Traveller needs to know to make a better trip

Place your announcement

Find a course, arrange a game and save money
Shortcuts to help you find sections and articles
05/2005
£13,500
08/2008
£109,950
2006
£10,750
Great car insurance deals online
£Excellent+ executive benefits
Torres and Partners
London
£49,229 - £62,035 pro rata
Charity Commission
London/Liverpool/Taunton
Alstom Power
Europe
Six Figure
Rolls Royce
Midlands/Europe
From £89,950
Great Investment, River Views
Special Offers now available
At the new sophisticated
Encore Las Vegas Resort!
Cruise the Islands of Hawaii - Pride of America
List your property with two leading travel websites
Great travel insurance deals online
Contact our advertising team for advertising and sponsorship in Times Online, The Times and The Sunday Times, or place your advertisement.
Times Online Services: Dating | Jobs | Property Search | Used Cars | Holidays | Births, Marriages, Deaths
News International associated websites: Globrix | Property Finder | Milkround
Copyright 2008 Times Newspapers Ltd.
This service is provided on Times Newspapers' standard Terms and Conditions. Please read our Privacy Policy.To inquire about a licence to reproduce material from Times Online, The Times or The Sunday Times, click here.This website is published by a member of the News International Group. News International Limited, 1 Virginia St, London E98 1XY, is the holding company for the News International group and is registered in England No 81701. VAT number GB 243 8054 69.