Just don't go to Ottawa in the winter. That fluffy-bunny becomes The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog in October.

And if you're ever back in Ontario, head to Lake Simcoe, just north of Toronto. There are enough speed boats to even impress you.

Ben, Toronto,

Canada is awesome!

Terrance & Phillip, Canada,

You are the perfect guy to review this sad sad 4 wheeled boring fest. Now if only manufacturers would follow listen to reviews like this and bring something more exciting to the plate. Having a family doesn't exempt you from deserving a properly driving hauler

Kevin, Atlanta, GA

70 hp Johnson? Amateur

Mcfarlan, Toronto, Ontario

So instead of telling my wife "The guy driving that Chrysler mini van next to us looks just like Jeremy Clarkson" I could have honestly said "That IS Jeremey Clarkson driving a Chrysler Minivan beside us."

Ottawa-the-city is very mediocre. Since the foresets were all clear-cut 100 years ago, it has had no real industry to speak of, and since it's located pretty much in the middle of nothing to get excited about, it's always had to struggle to find reasons to attract tourists. Ottawa-the-cottage-county, on the other hand, is remarkably beautiful and tranquil. I'm glad that Mr. Clarkson was able to experience what's arguably the best part of the region.

...and next time, he should really inquire and I'm certain any number of fans will lend him their Volvo XC90 - in exchange for a decent war story.

Thomas, Ottawa, Canada

Loved your review, esp. since my wife currently has a Chrysler Pacifica rental car, also from Thrifty, while her car is being repaired.
It elicits the same general response as the Dodge.

And I do love the imagry of Ottawa, as I traveled up there (from the US) on business... sadly, with the current value of the American Peso, I cannot afford a beer-run up there anytime soon.

Jason Kay, Morristown, USA / NJ

Having driven both a Caravan and a Voyager, I totally agree with you, Jeremy! However, I can assure you that Canadians do have orgasms - usually multiple - and I have won at the horses too!

Hope you come back to visit Canada another time!

Samantha Martel, Emsdale, Ontario

Switzerland with wheat????.....QUALITY!!!!!

John Keating, Austin, Tx

when you mentioned the fact that you didnt get all those features thats because you probably got the canada value package which has none of the fancy stuff but is cheaper and is very common in rental car lots like thrifty.

ps. the 2007 does not have swivel ng go '

asyed, Toronto, Canada

Never in my life did I think I'd write a defense of a Dodge Caravan. But honestly Clarkson, you got a stripper model costing about the VAT on one of your precious Jags, carried the entire family in relative comfort, got decent mileage, and it got you all home home safely. Ultimately it is an appliance for family hauling, not a toy. It is extremely good at that.

Any father of three purchasing one of these things knows its going to get trashed. I remember returning home from a business trip and my three year old daughter vomiting on me right as a sat down, then crying for having done so. Had we been in our Audi or Riley, I would have been upset. As it was, I kept my composure and told her it was alright. She fell quickly asleep. There is beauty in this things, allowing you to put family first instead of one's own entitlement.

There is a reason they've sold millions of these puppies and half the Orient is intent on copying it. You missed the mark here.

John, Pasadena, California

From being in America, and I have to agree with your assestment of the Dodge Grand Caravan. At least you dorve a newer one. I own a 2000 Grand Caravan with the mentioned 3.3L V-6, and it has no power at all. They should have given you a Toyota Sienna Minivan, with the 270hp V-6, it would have given you the power and acceleration you would have at least wanted, for a big vehicle. When you can chase down a idiot in a Audi A6, that cuts you off, doesn't know how to drive the car he owns, it makes you feel very special.

Eric Strauss, Baltimore, MD, USA

If you thought Ottawa was beautiful, you should come to Vancouver around August and take a drive along the Sea-to-sky highway to Whistler. Just make sure you are not stuck with a cement mixer, though.

Cheers.

J.C., Vancouver, BC, Canada

Can't believe he was in Canada. love the show as much and i love ottawa and btw i really love ottawa. i have to agree with you on the minivan. my mom has an '02 Grand Caravann Sport (not much sport in that) and it comes with four doors, tires are extra, locks, and a steering wheele plus chairs. i cant believe they give u all that. well i hate the van anyway and want my mom to get a new car so i am trying to talk her into it with your sugesstions on top gear.

Alex K, St. Catharines, Canada / Ontario

Blech i hate Minivan's in the first place anyway.
Dodge is not bad but i Choose Ford,Chevy,and Jeep over it.
all in all i think this is a Pretty fair review

Eric, Thornton, CO

Jeremy, thank you for your very accurate and helpful review of Ottawa. I was there on Friday, as my son was marrying a lovely Canadian girl. In my speech as father of the groom, I quoted widely from your article (explaining that you are a renowned British philosopher). One of the best laughs of the night was when it was learned that so many British people are killed by their trousers. The gushing praise of the capital rather helped improve the mood after my initial introduction - "My fellow Americans...." Please review Calgary soon - I plan to go there next year.

Richard, Blandford, UK

Jeremy , whilst i agree totally regarding your comments on Canadians going "up north " to the mythical cottage , I cannot agree with your assessment of the Dodge Caravan , you were driving a 2007 model and quoting the 2008 specs which is a totally new model that is only just now arriving in the dealers , still who knew , really enjoy the UK show , keep it up

geoff stanley, milton, ontario

Keith, London
What do you mean Lake Superior isn't even warm enough to swim in? I've been doing that every summer for 51 years now.
It's warmer than the North Sea!!

Deborah, Sault Ste Marie, MI, USA

Fun-ny. So many people whining about rental cars, you-choose-the-name "Caravans", imperial vs. us gallons, beavers, exchange rates, whatever, you name it. Or offering their car for the author. Or directing their personal comments to Jeremy... (does he even read the comments? If I was him, I would have better things to do.)

Congratulations, you all miss the point.

espen, Helsinki,

Hello Jeremy I've noticed your articles getting better as the car you're reviewing gets better. So in a way you grade your own article when you're grading a car. Isn't that a really annoying find? Steering clear of the gallon-discussion I 'd like to anounce that in the weekend of the 15th of september I will be in Frankfurt attending the fabulous annual motorshow and drinking the dismal beer. I shall then think of all you poor people, stuck in crummy old England. Incidentally, beer on the continent is measured in litres. So no fights over how much feet to a yard or how much gallon to a flimshob. Toodles!

Maarten, Oudenaarde, Flanders (conveniently located near Germany)

Rental car=fastest car in the world!!

Doug, Richmond, VA, USA

A very informative article. I hadn't realised Ottawa had cheap parking and shall be sure to visit as I live in a village 25km from the city centre.

I'll be visiting London next year and hope to try one those orgasms you mentioned.

Brad Brzezinski, Manotick, Canada ON

Clarkson, next time you're in Ottawa, borrow a car off one of your fans. Being a dirt-poor University student, all my money goes to alcohol, food, tuition, and rent, in that order... but I'm sure someone else in town would've lent you a far better car. In fact I would've rung up all my mates just to get you a decent car.

Dodge Caravan... *shudders* that's just upsetting.

Johann Kwan, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada

Just back from Ottawa today. You're correct, Jeremy, lovely city. Nice architecture and always walking distance to a decent pub. I'm sure that the Clarkson trousers are ample protection against bears, they sound scarey to me. Might I suggest a trip to Churchill Manitoba to commune with the polar bears. They live on a diet which ranks blubber very highly. They may see you as a slow motion buffet with or without pantaloons.

Gordon Shirbon, Ajax, Ontario, Canada

Hi, Jeremy, if you are a true enthusiast of military history, I am sure you didn't miss the 200th anniversary of the British ill fated invasion to Argentina. The local militias defeated not once, but twice the British Army, in 1806 and 1807. Look at this nice article at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4779479.stm
On other subject, I wouldn't advice you to drive a Dodge Caravan around Buenos Aires. Go for something sturdier like a Scania or Iveco (any model). You'll need the extra protection. Remember there are no roundabouts here, no pedestrian crossings (although lots of crossing pedestrians). At least, you'll be able to drive on the left, as in such a chaos nobody will notice.
Look forward to seeing you around next year.

Diego Martin, Rosario, Argentina

thrifty ? seriously I didn't even know those still existed. Avis or Enterprise, or even a Hertz would serve you better than a thrifty ..... well at least you had fun in Ottawa, its best around July 1st but I doubt you were looking for a good party like I would be. All the natural beauty you need is here in Ontario -- and all the scene-her-y is in the GTA. It's like Trinidad but wih more white girls. Granted if you want a horrible driving experience ina beautiful place visit St. Vincent. Horrible roads (but they do follow the British trandition of steering wheel placement and road directions) with little room for two cars yet the landscape will draw your breath away for the whole of your visit.

Nic Cruickshank, Toronto, On, Canada

To Richard in Plymouth, yes we do get Top Gear. We girls all gather round the telly and watch. First it is to ooh over Richard Hammond and his white teeth, then we pee our pants laughing with Jeremy. . We Canadians are very pleased we didn't bore Jeremy to death while on vacation.As for the Caravan, hockey mothers buy those things, . It would not have made any difference if Jeremy reviewed one from Thirtys or a brand new one. Next time Jeremy, Northern B.C. has great fishing and very powerful boats, the weather will make you feel like your home though.

sue, drayton valley, canada

Ha! Serves you right to have rented (hired) the worst and first MPV known to man. However, it is the most affordable one in the colonies to buy. $19000 to be exact. That's about 1.2 million pounds according to my Irish made calc. With your money why didn't you transport a Renault "E"space by 747? I rented one in Portugal and other than the frugal diesel engine; it sucked large. We had to turn off the A/C just to pass Fiat UNO's. I love your take on alot of cars but what did you expect at $40.00 a day. Have an MPV Isle of Man time trial next time and make sure the Dodge is entered. Bring a harbor pilot too.

jc, Toronto, Canada

Good insight that highlights sore points especially car rental companies (your experience similar to Seinfeld episode). And for true beauty, one must travel west to BC!

William hardwick, Duncan, BC

why to goodness would anyone who visits Canada go to Ottowa???? Even Canadians think its charmless???
Of all the options Montreal, Tremblant, Vancouver, Vancouver Island, Toronto, Muskoka, Whistler, Prince Edward Island etc etc would you go to a soulless city like that. Its the british equivalent of Slough - with less to do.

I have to concur with him though on one thing. Flying Air Canada transatlantic is like stepping back into the late 70's
-no tv's, bad food, shoddy planes.

Nice work Jeremy - if i spent all year working in London, driving expensive sports cars on someone elses dollar i'd want to see the other side of the coin too: Air Canada, Ottowa and a Dodge Caravan. Now if only you could throw in a visit to Winnipeg in January you'd have hit all the depths of hell.....

pg, Vancouver, Canada

Having just had the dubious honour of driving a Grand Caravan in the Rockies, I'd add the following to Jeremy's review:

- driver's seat is most uncomfortable and difficult to adjust - I'm 6'2" and never found a comfortable seating position
- gets you from A to B in the most boring fashion possible (my van was white, as was apparently all the others rented out by Alamo!)
- amazed that my children still have their limbs with the way the sliding doors operate.

I'll take my Honda Pilot over this vehicle any day.

Claude, Ottawa, Canada

Glad you liked Ottawa. It is a very nice city. The whole area is nice. But I think its pretty obvious how cruddy the caravan is, however it is pretty standard ride from most rental companies around here, although they typically seem to be all out of them when you actually need something that big to haul some stuff. Nevermind the whiners in here. Make sure you come back for a visit. We would be happy to have you, but next time take a ride in a real speed boat .

Jon, Ottawa, Ontario Canada

Rental car agencies are the purest form of torture. You turn up after sitting in a tube doing 600mph for countless hours and then after arriving at the terminal you have to queue for countless hours to get your car. In Brisbane, this art of suffering has been mastered by the best. I had just had knee surgery, walking without crutches for the first time (too hard to get them past the customs agents without a strip search), when we fronted up at the rental counter. The bubble gum chewing counter assistant gave us the keys for cars which didn't exist three times. Three times of carrying luggage all the way through the terminal, then 500 meters down into a poorly lit carpark (typically, their lot was the longest distance), only to find car wasn't there. You're laughing; I can assure you we weren't. Try number four went okay, but my discussion was aided by lack of painkillers, and homicidal rage. That agency also overcharged me...

Mike, Auckland, New Zealand

Brad in Grand Rapids .. he didn't say he was going to the Great Lakes. Just The Lake. Canadians generally avoid the Great Lakes, which feel dirty to us (even though most have been cleaned up) and don't have enough rocks, islands, privacy and still water. Lake Superior doesn't even get warm enough to even swim in. Generally, we prefer having our own dock to having to share a beach.
I suppose the east shore of Lake Michigan is nice where you live, but I don't know anyone who's actually gone there.
Best lake in the world is Lake of the Woods on the Manitoba-Ontario-Minnesota border. 100,000 islands in it, huge enough for both canoers and power boat maniacs to have fun and not disturb each other and get lost in infinite straits, bays and inlets.. hope the rest of the world never discovers and prices us out of it.

Keith , London, UK

Hey Jeremy, I do like you and enjoy your articles but what's with you and Greece? Why such animosity?

Leon, Preveza, Greece

You've posted a review of an old rental car from a company called Thrifty. Your star rating on such a vehicle should have been assumed before even picking up the car.

Rest assured, your daughter was not the first to vomit in it. Realistically, 2 stars for the Thrifty employee who was able to hide that fact.

IGB, Charlotte, NC

Who was that twit asking about US Gallons, didn't he read the article? The story is in Canada for crying out loud! Although they use metric in Canada, they use and quote in Imperial Gallons just like the UK.

As for the Dodge Grand Caravan, I agree with Jeremy it is like driving a big pudding. And not a useful one at that.

Frazer Murray-Hall, Vancouver, Canada

Mike in Perth: 22.2 miles per USgallon = 26.7 miles per UK gallon? Get a life!

Adrian, London, england

Good point Mike in Perth. Unfortunately mpg is not used in Canada. Instead they use a rating system of number of litres per 100 km. It's a mathematical challenge to convert to miles per either imperial or US gallon.

Greg, London, Canada

Dear Mr Clarkson

The next time you visit Canada, try to calm down a little, we prefer things relaxed. For the record, we are rather tired of the cliched comparisons and the reason we do well in the Best Place on Earth to Live stakes is because it is. We suspect this article was the Auto hack's equivalent of what you did on your summer vacation. We agree that your belicose military rantings got you what you deserved. It does seem you did enjoy yourself here, for the most part. Shame all those who came in close proximity to you can't say the same.

Wendy, Oakville, Ontario

Well in "Canada " Mike (sort of like asking a Kiwi what part of Austrailia he's from...) we use litres and kilometres so you can convert to whatever system your calculator (and if your math skills are on par with your insightful grasp of geography I would pass on that)...we're semi-converted to something called litres per 100 km which is a pain in the fundament to convert to any system ...probably done to annoy the Americans (they live SOUTH of us by the by...oh that's the other end of the compass)... I suspect Jeremy was defalting to Imperial gallons ...hardly matters ...a clapped out vehicle loaded with all the paraphenalia of offspring will do well to get more than say 15 bushels per furlong. Jeremy has experienced why "Canadians" like to trapse off to the woods every fall and use our 300 Magnums to ventilate Bullwinkle (Moose to you ...large things with horns) because we can't stand the civility. The real danger comes from trigger happy Americans ...

Ralph Allen, Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Why on earth are you arguing about gallons? Here in Canada petrol is sold in LITRES.

Anyway, enough of that. The whole point of the article surely was this one sentence in which Jeremy perfectly summed up Canada and made me howl with laughter: "But by the same token no one in Canada ever wins on the horses, or escapes from a knife fight with their life, or has an orgasm. It is Switzerland with wheat."

British In Canadian Suburban Deathville, GTA, Canada

Your writing is a joy. Tha van, is just what car Co,s do!
Cheers!

Albert Lorenzo, Frostyproof, Fl

Mike, Perth, Australia

Canada isn't in the USA.

The Canadian gallon is based on the imperial quart, the same as in Australia and the UK.

There is a difference, you know, and Australians of all people should be aware of it.

J. Sinclair, England, UK

I don't often agree with JC but this time I do. This is the most horrible car / van I have ever, ever driven. And my friends and I all felt sick in it while touring the Spanish mountain roads. I have never felt queasy in a car before. Previously we had hired a Peugeot 807 with no such problems on the same roads. In fact, the Peugeot was an excellent drive. Please don't waste your hard earned cash on this vehicle.

Iain Cameron, Ellon, UK, Aberdeenshire

What a load of codswollop.Beavers do not gnaw through pine, they prefer hardwoods. Nor do they gnaw during the daytime. They are nocturnal. Any outdoors kid will tell you that it is a cinch to get back into an overturned canoe. Stick to car reviews, Jeremy, even though you are getting a tad snooty.

N.Cowey, Haliburton, Ontario, Canada

He wan't in the USA. Canada uses litres. Before they used litres, they used British imperial measures. The confusion between US and imperial was part of the reason to migrate to metric measures.

Jack, Ashford, Kent

Mike,

Does that make a difference, it's a gas guzzler anyway... Now if you need a car that gives you 22 Mpg (US or UK) why look that far, you guys make one of the best - HOLDEN MONARO or nowadays the COMMODORE HST or something with a 6.0 L V8 - chomp! now bring me the next road!

amit, Cairo, Egypt

I have to agree with the Writer on this Cebrus-Chrysler product, its not one of my favourites but its cheap so dont expect the World either, would rather have a Honda Odyssey at twice the price of a Caravan

George Levecque, Fergus, Ontario Canada,

Well The Times is a UK newspaper, so I'd imagine the figure will be aimed at UK readers.

Ryan Hurst, Barnsley, UK

Last year we hired a Yaris from Budget in Ontario, after 35 miles I needed chropractic help to stand, crippled myself returning the car and traded it for a Dodge like yours but ours went OK and was straight, a lot of people were sceptical when I allowed myself only half and hour to do 35 miles at night (no sweat, had seconds to spare) but the car was OK, especially for its cost new. Did you hear that one government was voted in on the promise to ban speed cameras?

Chris Edwards, Helston, England

Michigan rules !!!
Sleeping bear dunes... just one of the best landscape ever seen.

Same cars in canada though...

flox, lyon, france

I was given one of those Grand Caravans as a Rental in Texas in December 2005. Besides the Caliber style front end the cars where identical.
I also can boast a lame spec as JC did with his, coming with none of the above he mentioned.
Also the Cruise Control scared me. Having driven a Merc C class and a Zafira which had electronic cruise control this Dodge came with mechanical cruise. So the peddles would constently move, which they never in the other two cars.

As for the engine, well in 2005, they fitted the 3.3l V6 with 180BHP (which on a scary note, appears more powerful then the 3.3l model JC used). Oversized and underpowered, was as quick as a milk float! But at least it made a nice noise.

Andrew Scorgie, Fife, Scotland

All and all, you seem to have liked your stay in Ottawa and area. Where exactly were you? What lake?
As for your rental at Thrifty's, well, sorry about that, but your daughter's left over was very funny......

Yves Grenier, Ottawa (Quebec actually), Canada

If it's Canada then the numbers are for the Imperial gallon or should I say used to be. Since 1978 the numbers in Canada have been given in the form of liters/100km but no one outside the civil service and those forced to by the civil service seems to use them.
So Mr.Clarkson got stuck with a Dodge caravan? There is some justice in the world after all. His job allows him to drive all sorts of exotic supercars and the latest offerings of major manufacturers. Now real life intrudes and he gets stuck with a mini van for his family while on holiday.
As for noise on lakes from outboard motors, Mr. Clarkson seems to have forgotten that he was in the country that has given the world the sea-doo which has been making loud noises on lakes for a couple of decades now.

John Corkery, Calgary, Canada

Oh come on... The Dodge Caravan isn't that good!! Surely somebody somewhere is laughing at all the fools who bought what must be a joke design. Sadly this bland mediocrity is all too common over here. You want to try it in the mountains (but only once!).

Jonathan Norton, Edmonton, , Canada

Hi Mike from Perth,bit bored this afternoon then?

Robert, Derby, UK

Loved the article...very amusing, I moved to Ottawa from Surrey UK 3 years ago and think JC's observations are very funny. Only last week I read an NCC leaflet re Black bears, warning please report any bears displaying abnormal behaviour in Gatineau Park'

jeannette wright, Ottawa, Canada

I cannot believe you would actually write an automobile critique based on a rental car from Thrifty. You are aware, I hope, that rental cars are used, abused and put away wet. Any observations, deductions or insights based on a rental car would, to me, be completely invalid. But thanks for your insights on Ottawa; I still think New York outshines any Canadian city.

John Vierney, New York, NY

Dear Jeremy,

I'm challenging you to a race. My Ford Windstar minivan versus your rental Dodge Caravan minivan. Then you'll see how non-exciting it is!

Come on, I know you can't resist a good challenge. You and me, the entire length of the Trans Canada, right here, right now.

PS: You went to the wrong part of Canada, obviously. Go west, my son!

Jenny B, British Columbia, Canada

He was in CANADA, not the USA, and we deal in litres and kilometres here. (And yes, Ottawa is lovely -- although I wouldn't call it fluffy bunny lovely)

FM, Ottawa, Canada

Canada is not in the USA and does not use gallons, their fuel is measured by the litre.

I imagine the mpg figures quoted are based on Imperial gallons especially as the article was written for a British publication.

Trevor, Rondon, UK

Clarkson was in Canada. You take a guess what measure he was using!

Gordon, London,

Really, of all the places to enjoy the Great Lakes you went to Canada? Really? You didn't check next door to see the rates in Michigan? No no, not Detroit, over on the west-side, where we actually drive nice cars, take care of the environment, and would be happy to offer you a great rental car through a wide variety of rental fleets.

On the Caravan for a moment:

The old model is probably one of the worst minivans out there, but its cheap. By cheap, I mean CHEAP. Wait for the new Caravan, which was co-developed with Volkswagen, which will have most of those things you talked about. At least that way it would be somewhat more enjoyable to look at AND drive.

Either way, its better than being stuck with a Chevrolet Venture...

Brad Y, Grand Rapids, Michigan USA

Jeremy, I am a brit living in Toronto, I can only agree with the assessment of the Caravan, its a miserable pile of cack, I just went to a lakeside cottage for the weekend, and I usually find that Caravans are driven at breakneck speed down the highway( I was brave and drove my 1959 Austin Healey Sprite to said cottage).

Russell, toronto, CANADA

As a resident of Canada, I'm deeply offended by Clarkson's scornful attitude towards our general niceness. He's right, of course. But I'm choosing to be offended, as is my right under the Canadian Bill of Rights, subsection 2.11.... btw, the Dodge Caravan is a peerless vehicle for those who enjoy being blown off the highway during a blizzard, a popular sport in these parts.

Baz, Edmonton, Canada

I take it that Canada gets Top Gear (probably somewhere obscure but it gets it) and at least some Candaians know who Jeremy Clarkson is and what he does?

If not, I can see some Canadian paper lifting this piece, printing outraged extracts plus Jeremy's address for angry readers to send rude letters to. I think Jeremy might find the Canadians less cuddly then.

Or would that sort of thing only happen here?

Richard, Plymouth, UK

Mike in Perth - this was Canada, which is supposed to be metric. However, before that, it would have been the Imperious gallon - no USifcation involved. However, he could have been lazy (surely not) and just gotten the figures from the manufacturers website, in which case they WOULD be US galleons.

Of course, with the exchange rate, he was driving a vehicle costing about 11,000 GBP & seating about 25, as far as I can tell. He was on vacation, but complaining about speed, he was driving a rental car with scraped paintwork.....what was the problem again ?

P.S. If he wanted to find the rental agency called Extravagant - it's called HURTS...well, not exactly.

Dave Cawdell, phoenix, arizona, US of A

an expat attitude in canada,demonstrated by lac k of sense or knowledge.
if ,you know who,thinks 70 hp in an outboard is powerful, its like driving a 1934 austin 7, and my bet is he did bother to find out whether it was a polluting 2 stroke or a modern 4 stroke.
loons prbably wondered who their new relations were

john haydon rowe, el ejido,

he's talking about CANADA you see which is not yet a colony of the US and which uses proper UK gallons (4.54 etc) litres

bill torbitt, windhoek, namibia

Jeremy: beavers prefer hardwood -- that is to say, deciduous--trees. But since the largest wild animal where you come from is a cricket, you're forgiven.

M. Hoeber, Miami, Florida, USA

I had a caravan as well, an '89. And it was the same story. It never could accelerate and due to the horrid burgundy interior I had a spat of vomiting in the back seat as well. The ONLY advantage was it's huge space inside.

jeremy, Murrieta, CA

Mike, you really need to get out more.

Mark, West Sussex, UK

Mike from Perth, Australia is correct about the different sizes of US and UK gallons. However, Mike should purchase a new atlas and discover that Canada is NOT part of the US.

Canada now uses the metric system, but prior to converting we used imperial gallons the same as the UK.

Bob, Mississauga, Ontario, Canada

Robert Campbell, Mississauga, Canada

Mike in Perth, you have qualified for this week's Prize Anorak. Well done!

Dave, Notts, UK

Another mindless rant from Clarkson.What can you buy in Britain or Europe that can transport 6 in comfort and their luggage for only 11,000 pounds?.People living in North America generally drive more for work and recreation and mini vans like this fill the need HERE.!

BOB, CLEVELAND, OHIO

Who cares?

Alan, Suffolk, UK

Mike, if you noticed, he was in CANADA not the USA. There is a considerable difference. Canada has been metric, and used litres for years. Please don't confuse us with Americans. Undoubtably Jeremy was using imperial gallons. Good, fun article though Jeremy!

kerry Clarke, comox, Canada

Nice piece Jeremy. I like the analogies between Montcalm, Wolfe and your experiences with the Thrifty girl. But yes, the engine on the Dodge is too small (the test one anyway) but good on your daugther for chundering in it before you dropped it off.
Entertaining as always.

Omar, Sydney, Australia

Really lovely description of Canada JC - Yep it's true hell being an ex-pat in this part of the world!

As for the driving - I drive a japanese car but the majority of cars are american models. Enough said. Although one can never have enough cup holders, what do you expect for 11,000(GBP)?

Now I remember why I left the UK, enough cash to buy the new speedboat, pay for the gas and time to play in it!

Lynn, Collingwood, ON, Canada

Glad you enjoyed Canada - we moved here 4 years ago from the UK. Great to live and visit - but it gargantuan compared to the UK. People think nothing of driving 4-5 hours for a day trip.
Thrifty pulled one on us when we were last in Toronto. Having reserved a mid-size car online, they proceeded to say all they had left was some metro-sized cabrolet but that this was classified by them as a mid-size. 'So - how will our three cases fit in the glovebox sized boot?' 'Not our problem, but you can pay to upgrade...' Hmmm, would rather take my chances with the bears.

Amc48c, Edmonton, AB

As an expat Montrealer who spent a year in Ottawa one weekend; I found Clarkson's description absolutely hilarious. His Thrifty experience was spot on too!

Arlene Overland, Sydney, Australia

Finally a mention of my modest little country from Mr. Clarkson, and he hit the nail on the head...with the glaring exception that a 70 horsepower anything on water should not be mentioned in the same sentence as speed. Most decent jet skis/runabouts have about 100 hp.

Next year I might recommend a week or two on Lake Joseph (where Torontonians play) and get something appropriate, with 502 cubic inches and perhaps a supercharger. Then revel in the joy of watching your children eject 15 feet in the air from the tube in which the thought they had a firm grip.

Justin Pentesco, Niagara on the Lake, Ontario

Jeremy, you were in Canada and didn't say hello :(
Glad you had fun in Ottawa, but next time, come to Toronto. I think you'll like it.

Nauman, Toronto, Canada

thank you, i enjoyed that.

pete, auckland,

Ottawa is in the USA? I thought we'd thrown out the Liberals!
In any case we don't know what are gallons of any possible measure. Tell us how many Kilometres per litre. Or is that the other way about? Oh, did you know that Ottawa is not actually Canada? Not all of Canada, anyway.

Des Risdon, Surrey, BC

Jeremy come back to Canada, we love you here!!! Will make sure next time you visit you have a super flash and fast car that fits the whole brood of Clarkson's.

Lydia Phillips, Toronto, Canada

It just goes to prove what I've always believed - car rental people hold the power of the universe. They can make or break a holiday.
My last encounter left me with a woman telling me that my booking wasn't going to be ready for a couple of hours. I complained which resulted in a smug grin and a smaller car than originally booked. A Punto at that. Gutted. I own one. My mates in the other car, who just smiled at her, were rewarded with a very nice Alfa. I was later charged for stuff I didn't understand and couldn't be bothered to argue about.
They keep your card details and personal information for far too long which resulted in me,TWO whole years later, being tracked down by the Pisa Mafioso Traffic Dept.They demanded I pay for going through a toll that I, and I quote, "couldn't have paid at the time because there was no toll."I kid you not!
The future of travel lies in my fly drive idea.The plane carries you and your own car to your chosen destination!Do you have Branson's number?

Lisa, Durham,

Canada tries its hardest to be America and is constantly embarassed at being so much worse. End of story.

Steve, London,

Why would it be miles per US gallon? You do realise that Canada uses the metric system :)

Richard, Sydney, Australia

gallons in canada are the same as the UK

mags, oakville, canada,

Ahhh, the minivan.
Truly the milquetoast of atomobiledom.
Not quite and SUV, more than a station wagon, slightly worse than both.
Brilliantly written article again Senior C. Saw 6 Ariel Atoms driving together on a sunny road here yesterday, made me smile and think of your face when you drove it. Make sure you head further South next time (or is it "Sooth")...

Gus, Los Angeles, USA / CA

The Canadians call these lakeside cabins 'cottages'. Some of them are living proof that you can build a place from plywood and duct tape. I spent a week at one recently. Gives a whole new meaning to cottaging. I would offer two pices of advice, first, rent a pick-up truck - the larger the better. This can be used to haul the beer that will be consumed from the nearest seller - which I can guarantee will be at least two hours away. Secondly, take plenty of anti-bug spray. Call them mosquitoes, mossies or just unseen things that bite you (especially after a beer or three), and the body becomes one big itch.
As JC says though, it was all lovely. Apart from the plonker in a speedboat towing his kids on a rubber ring and and making a quiet afternoon in a beer haze impossible.

Al, St. Pete, FL, USA

HA I knew I saw you in Ottawa, but no one believed me!! Over here while I decided to do after uni. It is a rather nice area isn't it!! They love all manner of minivans over here, all of which leave a lot to be desired though Honda's Odessey isn't that that bad.

Neil Okan Tasdeler, Ottawa atm/ Kingston-u-Thames , Canada/UK

Get into metric (SI), dudes. Kilometres per litre. So hard to communicate with you recalcitrants. This is the 21st century, just, and the US is on the way down.

Andrew Milner, Yokohama, Japan

God i wish Clarkson was that guy who got killed by the bear. What an embarrassment!

Matthew, Kaifeng,

Mike in Perth is right about US Gallons - however, Jeremy wasn't in the US, was he? Canada is metric and therefore fuel consumption is measured in litres per 100 km. When gallons ARE used for measuring (for the old people, of course), Canada was on an Imperial system the same as Britain. However, with a Caravan (Grand or otherwise) I doubt you'd actually see that kind of fuel economy.

Vince, Vancouver, BC, Canada

In Canada we have Imperial measures.

Chris, Montreal, Canada

On this side of the pond, Chrysler's version of this thing is called the Town and Country. My wife and I were a bit interested and drove one a while back. It was a very, very nice car...full of all the things that we need to have in a useful vehicle, such as all wheel drive and a radio of some sort.

Full of everything we need except an engine, of course. Our test car had the biggest engine available at that time, which was 3.8 litres.

Our impression was that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the car that a small block V8 wouldn't cure.

rmwoodbury, Trenton, Maine

As he was in Canada, it should be the UK (or Imperial as we commonly say) gallon. Actually he would have been buying his fuel in litres and, the mileage would be measured in litres per 100 Km. Yes, that is common in Canada - we talk about "mileage" and measure it in metric, or talk about the outdoor temperature in Celsius and set the house thermostat in Fahrenheit.

Seth, Salt Spring Island, Canada

Is Clarksons fly undone in picture #3 the one of him in the canoe?

I wasn't looking there on purpose honest gov.

Bob Cat, Hobart, Tasmania

Driving a minivan (or MPV or whatever you want to call those contraptions) is the automotive equivalent of being neutered. In most cases, it's cosmic sarcasm's way of telling you you have too many children already. As such, the driving experience should be dreadful.

I'm looking forward to your visit to Argentina next year, Jeremy. When you come, go off the tourist-beaten path and come to see us in Cordoba. Great off-roading and some of the best twisty mountain roads await.

Dan, Cordoba, Argentina

Dodge Caravans really are crap. And I can believe that the consumption is 22.2 mpg UK.
Great article as always...
I'm just off to my cabin by the lake

Chris, Vancouver , Canada

Perhaps Mike, Perth, is also unaware of the difference between English miles per gallon and Australian miles per gallon! By the time we've paid the tax here in good ole Blighty, the 4.5 miles to the gallon discrepancy wont make a scrap difference at all. My Cougar runs at approx 33 miles to the gallon, (UK ones, naturally), and 26.4 miles of those 33 wont help the profits of Esso in the slightest!

Les Remmington-Allum, High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire

I'd like to give JC the benefit of the doubt and say he'd actually made the calculation himself using Imperial gallons(Or, as Mike writes, 'UK gallons'), which is what we formerly used in Canada - where he was driving the Caravan. That is, we used Imperial gallons before we went metric - much to the chagrin of our neighbours to the south. So properly included in his calculation would have been a conversion from litres to Imperial gallons. However, being on holiday and all, I suspect he may have just lazily copied the figure from an American version of the specs. And that, considering the overall impression given by the Caravan is about all of the effort it deserves...

Michael, Toronto, Canada

Quote: - Model Dodge Grand Caravan - Fuel 22.2mpg (combined cycle).

Is that 22.2 miles per US gallon or 22.2 miles per UK gallon? There is a difference, you know and Clarkson of all people should be aware of it. Far too many motoring journalists aren't when they are dealing with vehicles in the USA. (Actually 22.2 miles per US gallon = 26.7 miles per UK gallon)

Mike, Perth, Australia