Jeremy Clarkson
The man, the films, those blondes. Free DVD collection starting this Sunday

Rating
Verdict Biblically bad
The Perodua Kelisa is without doubt the worst car, not just in its category but in the world.
Yes but, the argument will run, over three years it will cost you just 13.5p per mile. This also makes it the cheapest car to run. Fine, but the cheapest house is a small tent.
The Malaysian-made Kelisa has a top speed of 88mph but takes so long to reach it that no one has ever lived long enough to verify the claim. It only has three cylinders, the inside is tackier than Anthea Turner’s wedding and you don’t want to think what would happen if it bumped into a lamppost. Also, its name sounds like a disease.
This is not some snobbish, all-right-for-me observation. This car is a piece of unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion. And you can have proper engineering, with proper brakes and proper sound insulation for even less if you buy secondhand.
Cars like the Kelisa are for African taxi drivers, a rival for the moped and the mule. And I bet the people working in the factories over there simply cannot believe that 10,000 miles away people in the world’s fifth-richest country are buying them too. They must think we’re insane.
Current price £5,612
Price when tested £4,842
Engine 989cc, three cylinders
Power 55bhp @ 5200rpm
Torque 65 lb ft @ 3600rpm
Transmission Five-speed manual
Fuel/ CO2 55.4mpg (combined) / 121g/km
0-60mph 14.8sec
Top speed 88mph
If you think this car is good, you should check out Peroduas other beefy model in the line up. Its called the Perodua Kancil (Cun-Chill), its named after the Mouse Deer of Malaysia (the mouse deer must be ashamed). It has a few variants, one of which is powered by 660cc of 3 pot fury. It generates 29bhp which is the same as a windmill and is even more dangerous than falling off said windmill.
Steve, Dunedin, New Zealand
In America, quite a few people want to import these paragons of economy and low emissions. I met one of them at a party. She's in charge of our county's roads.
So, let it be known: England does not have a monopoly on civic planners with better intentions than common sense.
Joseph Shaul, Madison, USA
The Kelisa has a challenger - it's called the Kalos which gives the lie to the idea that the two cars are the creations of the same warped mind (of course, 'car' is used in the loosest sense in the same way that a Blackpool B&B is mentioned in the same breath as a Monte Carlo gin palace). But this is a Chevrolet, probably created out of some Daewoo ancestry but I have no hunger to research further. We have had the bad luck to be given one as a loan car. A gearbox for which mush would be a compliment; a suspension able to remove fillings more rapidly than Brighton rock; the most insipid engine this side of a Sinclair C5; bodywork by Tetra Pak and even a horn that would embarass Noddy and Big Ears. Simply AWFUL. And living in Belgium, we weren't expecting excitement :-)
Stephen Russell, Brussels, Belgium