My Australian friend’s husband is looking worried. While tucking into his dim
sum, the woman next to him, a new acquaintance, has brought up the subject
of her troublesome ovaries. It’s not that the topic is unsuitable over food;
the reason for his discomfort is that she’s just learnt he’s a doctor.
Like a sketch out of Steptoe and Son, this woman launches into her medical
history the way Albert would harangue Harold’s potential ladyfriends,
leaving the rest of us squirming uncomfortably.
Motoring journalists are rarely faced with such intimate matters. On
introduction most are asked one of three questions: “What’s the best car?”,
“Why are cars cheaper abroad?” or “Do you know that Jeremy Clarkson?” So I
try to distract the woman with the dodgy ovaries from the Australian doctor
by asking her what she does with her time. “I’m a tax collector.” I stuff a
prawn cracker in my mouth and smile.
My Australian friend blurts out: “Helen’s a motoring writer.” The inevitable
questions begin and I regale them with tales of bad driving, randy racing
drivers and meeting my husband Fraser in the south of France on a Ford
Escort launch.
The whirl of car launches can be quite giddy-making, and I realise how
suggestible I have become when the next day I pick up the telephone
expecting it to be a nice man from Aston Martin offering me a drive in the
Vanquish. Instead it’s Bob from Ford with a Fiesta turbodiesel.
“Get real,” squeaks my Australian friend. “It might be bread and butter to
you, but a Fiesta is a great little car and worth being interested in.”
So I find myself behind the wheel of the new 1.4 TDCi Ford Fiesta and humble I
feel. In the Eighties, the Fiesta, along with Mini Metros and Fiat Pandas,
was “the little woman’s car”. Now it is a sophisticated hatchback, smart
styling, a respectable drive and stuffed full of advanced features from a
larger car.
Even in the mid-range £10,695 LX trim the Fiesta has air-conditioning, remote
central locking, heated windscreen and CD player. Alloy wheels, anti-lock
brakes and metallic paint bump the price of the version I drove up to
£11,770.
The new 1.4 litre TDCi turbodiesel engine uses the latest common-rail
injection technology, which means it delivers impressive grunt and fuel
economy. The turbodiesel is well mannered, even from cold, and picks up
speed comfortably.
It’s disappointing then that as the Fiesta’s styling is so good, and its drive
even better, that its interior is so drab. Swathed in black plastic,
guileless dials, inconspicuous stereo and a steering wheel with a curious
Duplo brick appearance, there’s little to like, or dislike, inside the
Fiesta.
My Australian friend would be proud of me, though. I drove and I liked it.
That is until my four-year-old said: “It’s boring.”
“What do you mean?” I asked Grace. “Don’t you like it?” “What’s to like?”
asked my been-in-too-many-flash-cars daughter.
I am telephoning Bob at Ford tomorrow. A week in a Focus followed by a week in
a Mondeo should put her feet back on the ground.
