Rosemary Bennett, Social Affairs Correspondent
Pick up your copy of Joy Division: Closer at WHSmith today
She has made her name as the champion of teenage girls, with a special insight into what makes them tick.
But young fans of the former children’s laureate and best-selling author Dame Jacqueline Wilson might be shocked to hear that she thinks teenagers should have less freedom and stricter parents who say “no” to them more often.
The 62-year-old novelist said she was deeply concerned that many children grow up too fast, even though her own books contain adult themes, such as divorce and single motherhood. Many of her teenage characters are precocious, worldlywise and wear make-up and tight-fitting clothes.
In an interview with The Times, she said that just because she wrote sympathetically about adolescents did not mean she wanted them to achieve the independence they craved.
“I feel it is a real shame that children act like adults at an alarmingly early age. Because the narrators in my novels are teenagers, it may look as though I am pushing for teenagers to have more freedom. But that is not what I believe,” she said.
“Parents need to take a stand, to tell their children ‘I don’t care if everyone else in the class is allowed to do this or that. You are not.’ No-one wants a confrontation, but adolescence is a tricky time and it is the nature of the beast that teenagers are a bit stroppy. You just have to accept that.”
She said that she believed teenagers secretly liked rules.
“Basically, many teenagers want to be told ‘no, I’m not allowing you to go there.’ It comes as a relief to them and then they can moan and groan to their friends. Parents are well-meaning and want to be popular with their children, and they remember clearly how they felt when their own parents told them they couldn’t do things. But they need to set boundaries and offer guidance.”
Dame Jacqueline said she was aware that she might be dismissed as a “grumpy old woman” for harking back to her own childhood. “I know girls are desperate to look cool, but I wish they didn’t all want to wear high heels and tight, trendy clothes. It is sad that they don’t do that ordinary playing together that they used to. I’m not saying it’s all bad but it would be nice if they enjoyed simple pleasures, like going out for a picnic.”
Dame Jacqueline, who has a grown-up daughter, was speaking prior to the publication of her new novel, entitled My Sister Jodie, a story of two sisters – one studious, the other rebellious – and how their parents cope.
Her concerns are part of a growing sense of alarm about modern childhood and the unhappiness of so many young people in Britain today. Research shows one in ten has a diagnosable mental health problem, while underage drinking and teenage pregnancy are the highest in western Europe.
The Children’s Society, which is conducting a two-year research project on modern childhood, welcomed Dame Jacqueline’s decision to speak out.
“Her comments are a welcome addition to the current debate on childhood. The Children’s Society is concerned that young people are continually subjected to pressure to achieve, behave and even consume like adults at an ever-earlier age,” said Bob Reitemeier, chief executive of the society.
“Childhood is not just a path to adulthood, but a critical part of life in its own right. It’s essential that as a society we allow children to enjoy this crucial time in their lives.”
A poll conducted by ICM to coincide with the publication of Dame Jacqueline’s new book found that 71 per cent of parents allowed their children to drink alcohol at home before they were 18, while 45 per cent allowed 16-year-olds to spend the night at their boyfriend or girlfriend’s house.
Among children aged 16 and under, 53 per cent are allowed to stay out later than 11pm, while 35 per cent of girls aged 12 and under have been allowed to pierce their ears. Half of the girls surveyed are permitted to dye their hair and wear make-up by the age of 14 and 55 per cent of parents believe childhood ends at 11.
Teen troubles
Anna said she’d shorten it for me, but I knew she’d only turn it up a centimetre or so. I wanted my skirt really short. Only I’m not that great at sewing. The hem went a bit bunchy . . .
Anna didn’t say anything but I knew what she was thinking. Dad was more direct: “For God’s sake, Ellie, that skirt barely covers your knickers!” “Honestly!” I said, sighing. “I thought you tried to be hip, Dad. Everyone wears their skirts this length.” It’s true. Magda’s skirt is even shorter.
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Bring back corporal punishment in schools and stop pandering to the PC, Left Wing Liberals in Brussels. !!
Goose, Baku, Azerbaijan
Growing up in Europe my parents would never have let me stay out at night, get drunk, etc. As for girls, well... I was a fully paid up member of the "other" side of teenagers, those who get manically depressed over their inability to get girls to like them, so that wasn't an issue.
What my parents were willing to do was go out of their way to let me do any sports I wanted, which led to me competing at national levels in archery while my friends got drunk and drugged.
All I know is, I'd rather have my situation than theirs, though better relations with girls would have been nice...
T, University of Warwick,
"Many of her teenage characters are precocious, worldlywise and wear make-up and tight-fitting clothes"
Surely a Dame of the Realm could make the connection that if the protagonists of her very popular books display these characteristics, then young people will aspire to something similar. Take some responsibilty Ms Wilson.
Gemma, Leighton Buzzard, UK
What strange examples of 'lenient' parenting.
Drinking alcohol at home under 18? Many parents in Europe allow this - it doesn't seem to have turned them into binge drinkers. Sleeping at boyfriend's house at 16? At 16 they are allowed consent to sexual activity, no? And even marriage with parental consent. Dying hair and piercing ears? Is this the best example of parental technique leading to delinquent behaviour or mental health problems?
Maybe their sad fragmented lives with parents who are always absent at work are the problem that leads to them being directionless. And lack of hope of achieving a career or even a job perhaps.
DT, Northampton,
Yes. There must be rules. Teens should not be allowed to drink till they drop unconscious, to steal, to assault people, to bully other touths. That's for sure. Who denies that?
But it looks like that's not the point here. It looks like the point here is saying 'no' to teens about staying out till 11pm (which is late indeed!), staying at their girl/boyfriend's for the night, having their ears pierced or wearing their skirt 'too short' (who judges that, by the way?).
It looks like what has been completely lost is the sense of the difference between what does not harm anyone and what does: it looks like one could either say always yes or always no!
Would it be so impossible to have rules, but rational ones, that forbid behaviour that harms others but allow the rest? That avoid that teens become street criminals, but also that they grow as suppressed, solitary prisoners?
There is no harm in piercing one's ears or in having responsible sex with one's lover: why should we forbid that?
Harry, Oxford,
Well, well - what a revelation to us all! Nothing like stating the obvious and presumably getting paid to do it.
What a shame that the entire adult population of this country are perceived to be ignoramuses by the Government and by TV presenters together with some journalists.
marionmarchant, Reigate, England
totally agree- this is why britain has such high crime rates and why there are so many vandalism and youth crime in here than anywhere else. this is why many people want to leave britain and why it is such a crap country... bad parents lead to bad children and whole lotta crime.
millie, scotland,
I thought saying no to children had been banned by this government?
Cromwell, Leeds, England