Schools are replacing the family and the Church as the institutions that teach children manners and set them moral boundaries, according to a teaching union.

Growing numbers of parents struggle to teach children basic social skills and need help to “rediscover what being a parent means”, John Dunford, general secretary of the Association of School and College Leaders, said yesterday.

For many children, school was the only part of their lives where they experienced clear moral boundaries. The demise of the family meal, in particular, had produced a generation of children with bad manners, he said.

“For some children, schools have had to take the place of the institutions that used to set the boundaries of acceptable behaviour - that was fundamentally the family and the Church,” he told the association’s annual conference in Brighton yesterday.

“In relation to the family, one of the most important factors has been the loss of the family meal, which has reduced family conversation so that schools have more to do in teaching children to communicate. In terms of good manners and appropriate behaviour, primary schools have to teach children how to use a knife and fork and sit at a table.”

Although schools “can’t and shouldn’t replace the role of parents”, Dr Dunford said, most teachers accepted the need to help parents “rediscover what being a parent means” and to teach children basic values.

Their task, however, was being hampered by over-regulation and interference by central government. “The Government talks about giving more power to frontline teachers, but school leaders now find they can hardly move without bumping against one regulation or another,” he said.

He suggested that schools strike a deal with government. In return for being granted greater autonomy, schools would undertake to work more closely with parents to provide them with the support they needed.

Dr Dunford described as “toxic” the influence of league tables that ranked schools by their exam results, and government targets on education. There was an “irresistible” case for abolishing the current regime of national testing, he added.

He also criticised the media cult of celebrity which, he said, was giving young people the impression that success could come easily. “Schools are based on the connection between hard work, passing your exams and getting a good job. People forget that high-earning footballers have to train incredibly hard, that successful pop singers have to practise for hours. I think it makes the job of the school more difficult,” he said.

Dr Dunford’s comments coincide with a report from the Policy Exchange think-tank arguing that there is too much government intervention in schools at the expense of the role of teachers. The report calls for league tables to be replaced with a school “report card” providing more information for parents. It suggests making schools independent of local authorities and encouraging them to work with charities and nonprofit organisations in the way that academies do.

A YouGov poll published with the report found that parents believe the English education system provides too little choice. Little over a third regard the admissions system to secondary schools as fair or quite fair, while just 14 per cent felt they had a lot of choice in finding a school for their child. Just 2 per cent of parents gave preference to a school only or mainly on the basis of league tables; 42 per cent of parents did not consult them at all.

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