Tomorrow is my first day in school and I am buzzing. I have set my alarm for six o’clock and I couldn’t be further from sleep. I have two inset days to settle in before the kids arrive. Inset days are “dress down” days and I always remember thinking teachers in casual clothes were hilarious. “How could any teacher think they were cool enough to wear a band t-shirt or leggings?” my teenage self thought. Now I am that teacher.

I am rapidly coming to terms with the fact that in the eyes of the average teenager teacher equals saddo. The very fact that I just used the word “saddo” probably means I am a saddo. As my subject tutor said: “Do not try to pretend you know what music they listen to or what clothes they want to wear. I am forty something and I get it wrong, you are all twenty something and you will still get it wrong.” Furthermore I’m pretty sure most of them think we just climb into lockers at the end of the school day and don’t exist outside of lessons.

I keep looking at my form list and my timetable, I won’t even be meeting them until Monday but something in me thinks if I keep staring at their names something illuminating will pop up. Along with my subject teaching I will be co-tutoring a year 7 form group. This means I get to teach some Personal, Social and Health Education (PSHE). First on the agenda is Puberty: Emotional and Physical changes. The phrase “baptism of fire” springs to mind, not for the first time.

On the plus side everyone is being very polite about how mad Teach First sounds right now. An old school friend called me up yesterday to see how I was getting on.

“So you start teaching on Monday?”

“Yes.”

“You planned all your lessons for that week?”

“No.”

“Ah. Do you know what you’re teaching?”

“Sort of.”

“Do you know who you’re teaching?”

“Ish.”

“Do you know when you’re teaching them?”

“Not really.”

I am assured everything will be clearer tomorrow. Last minute timetabling decisions cleared up and class details handed out so I can cement my planning. This is all of course very normal; you can’t plan lessons weeks in advance because things change, and most teachers don’t do much individual lesson planning pre-inset day. But when I’m sitting up late at night before my first day I wish there was more I could do. I guess I’ll just triple check my bus route and sharpen my pencils. Again.

Times recommends

• Students abandon the drink for gyms and juice
• Ofsted: third of Baby P-style reviews inadequate
• Top boys' school picks first woman head