Debra Roughton can remember, as if it were yesterday, the moment when she and her husband Trevor delivered their elder daughter Kirsty to Keele University two years ago. At the hall of residence that was to be Kirsty’s new home, they helped her to transport her worldly goods, in assorted boxes and carrier bags, to her room. Debra recalls Kirsty (both pictured above) clutching a bottle of wine — just in case she was invited to an impromptu freshers’ party.

“She didn’t want help putting her stuff away. She needed us gone. So we took a deep breath, walked quickly to the car and drove away,” says Debra. “At home, we made a cup of tea and shed a few tears. It was similar to the feeling I had when she first began school.”

Starting university is a huge step for students, but it can be equally daunting for parents. If you did not attend university yourself, there is a real sense of throwing your offspring into the unknown; if you did, then you will be acutely aware of how things have changed.

The good news is that, more than ever, universities appreciate the key role that parents play in aiding a smooth transition from home to student life. Where once they were expected to deliver their children at the door and not show up until graduation day, there is now a determined effort not only to include them, but to provide them with a support network.

Many universities publish parent newsletters and host welcome events. At Keele, the process has been taken further; Debra is one of several “parent ambassadors” appointed by its Academic Services Directorate. The ambassadors attend informal gatherings for prospective parents at the university, and also go to schools to talk about their own experiences.

“Parents often start off talking about the merits of courses,” says Roughton. “But what they are really worried about is how it feels, as a parent, to let them go and what they can do, in practical terms, to avert potential crises.” Her key tips involve ensuring that your son or daughter is not domestically challenged: “They should know how the washing machine works and where toilet rolls come from. They need to be able to cook a simple meal. It sounds obvious, but they won’t realise how much just happens unless you’ve shown them.”

Her advice is endorsed by John Foreman, dean of students at University College London, who has been coping with the teething problems of undergraduates for more than 20 years. Students, he laments, are not as “self-sustaining and robust” as they once were. “I’m afraid the blame must rest in part with parents who have not prepared them for university — or life.” Much of his day, he explains, is spent fielding calls and letters from anxious mothers. “I had a letter yesterday from one complaining that her daughter had been living on Sainsbury’s sandwiches all year. We may not provide mummy’s home cooking, but the food in halls is perfectly edible. I would have been ashamed if my parents had written to my university in such a way.”

The students who settle most easily, he says, are those who have been raised to be adaptable and independent: “Those who have hyper-doting parents stand out a mile.”

Selina Hawkins, 24, is a Cambridge graduate who now works at the university as a liaison officer. “We’ve had some parents who not only drive their children here to be interviewed, but want to sit in on the meeting with the tutor,” she says. “We have to tell them politely that they are not to come in.”

Some Cambridge colleges host garden parties for parents. Hawkins remembers hers being an emotional, but clear-cut, way of saying goodbye. “I had a bit of a cry before my parents left, but by the time they got home and rang to see if I was all right, I was in the pub with a group of new friends.”

Finally, any parents tempted to pay a mid-term visit should be prepared to avert their eyes. Research by Vax, the vacuum-cleaner maker, found the amount of dust in a student home is 50 times that found on the floor of a shop.

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