You have spent the morning cramming every one of your beloved belongings into
every crevice of the boot of the car. You have spent a number of hours on
the motorway with your family, either being calmed by them; with them
reassuring you that you’ll survive this monstrous experience – or you
comforting your folks, explaining that you may have flown the nest, but you
still love them. The following lines probably serve either scenario: “the
terms are only short”, “it’ll be over before you know it”, “it’s not that
far away” – “and there’s always the megabus!”
Once that ordeal is over, your first task may well be to dispatch your
parents. They’ll want a tour of your new accommodation, maybe a quick
handshake with the warden/senior resident of the hall and then it’s time for
the goodbyes. A university bigwig making the final speech at my recent
graduation recalled his eldest daughter's first day at university. After
unloading the car, his daughter simply said “goodbye dad”. He noted that
this was not a farewell. “It was an instruction.”
Then you’ll move on to claim your key and…don’t panic! Your new abode may
appear to resemble more of a bomb shelter or a storage facility for MFI
rejects than home sweet home, but it will look much more like the cosy
pied-à-terre you had been dreaming of, once you install your clutter into
its confined space.
My room happened to be the most garish shade of yellowy orange imaginable –
the only room in the whole building treated to such special treatment. That
was my talking point, but Nina Robinson, a student from Oxford University –
advises you to bring your own. “Bring something interesting, unique or just
downright peculiar for your room – something that will spark a
conversation,” she counsels.
In any case, your communal spaces will be decorated in all manner of DIY ways
over the first term. Whether it be with a pyramid of emptied beer cans or
any number of strange collections, freshers find their own unique ways to
make their mark. One of my flatmates, a rare kind who actually consumed
fruit, covered his kitchen cupboard with discarded apple labels. Then there
are the freshers who seemingly can’t resist the urge to nab any sign (street
sign, pizza shop sign, well, they’re not fussy) or traffic cone in sight.
Next, there's time for a few fleeting introductions and sheepish handshakes,
before you are shipped off to your union/hall bar. Here are two challenges
for you to overcome: first, try to remember a succession of names, subjects,
home-towns and other little titbits of information being bowled at you.
Then, comes the real toughie. Attempt to engage in a conversation that is
even only slightly different to the one you just had. Hannah Saunders’, a
third-year Cambridge student, top tip is to have a question up your sleeve
that varies from the mundane monotony of this maelstrom of enquiries. It
might just help you to avoid sounding like a deranged Cilla Black –
enquiring, “what’s your name and where do you come from?” over and over
again.
Just have an interesting couple of questions to hand, or some engaging things
to say for yourself – maybe your summer holiday or your gap year. But don’t
go on too much. No-one warms to an intrepid gapper who can’t stop blathering
on about how much he/she has found him/herself and how they’ve
seen/discovered/healed the world blah blah blah. But this tactic really
works. I was convinced of this when, wandering around at my post-graduation
reception, I was reminded of the first conversation I had with a friend I
was now graduating with. The fact that she had had a part-time job in the
summer holiday post A-levels in a Christmas cake factory in a town near
Glastonbury had clung to my memory for three years. It’s those kind of
details that stop everyone meshing into one amorphous mess. Just be careful
to stay on the right side of attentive and curious, and not on the wrong
side of obsessive stalker.
Do have a blast, but make at least a token attempt to stay healthy. The
notorious freshers’ flu is pretty self-explanatory. Throw a load of heaving
youngsters from all over the country into a cramped space over a week, with
copious amounts of booze and the first time being away from home (read: dire
food) – and you haven’t got the most wholesome recipe for healthy living.
Perhaps you should even bring the Lemsip and Echinacea with you in advance.
Finally, when you get back to your hall and you enter the early hours with
your newly-found friends, bear the following piece of advice in mind. People
often tend to stick together and fall into their comfort zones in a pretty
short space of time. So make the most of your enthusiasm. Invest in a
doorstop, a bottle of alcohol, a few mugs and a packet (or two) of Hobnobs
and you may find that your hospitality results in your room being the social
centre of your corridor. Meet lots of people and don’t just attach yourself
to a small enclave of like-minded freshers. “Don’t be like me and end up
stuck with the same morons,” advises one recent graduate, who unsurprisingly
wishes to remain nameless. “Yeah, don’t get stuck”, her (also anonymous)
friend agrees. It’s good advice; there are thousands of other freshers - and
second and third years - out there waiting to be acquainted with you. They
are not strangers – they’re just friends you haven’t made yet (cheesy as it
sounds).
But the best advice is just take it easy. If you arrive late, have forgotten
your favourite teddy, think that everyone's staring at you, or your room
stinks of damp, just take it in your stride. In terms of expectations, it's
probably best just not to have any. I remember speaking to a very good
friend who had arrived at uni a few days before me. She said she was pretty
bored and wiling the hours away on her newly-purchased laptop. When I had
spent a couple of days in my gaudy yellow room, I kind of knew what she
meant. For a lot of people, the whole week is haze of unbridled euphoria.
But for many freshers, student life doesn’t provide an instant sensation of
hedonistic elation. For most, freshers week is about getting used to new
surroundings, new people and a new stage of your life. Just enjoy it.
It really isn't that scary. All the clichés apply (“you’re all in the same
boat” being just one of them), but to steal a metaphor from someone I met
recently – it is just like a buffet. Use your first week at university, and
especially your first day, to be an adventurous eater. Get a taste of as
much as you can. Just pace yourself; no-one wants indigestion. Bon appétit!
Don’t forget to…
Bring: a stash of passport photos. They’re a must for the stream of forms,
I.D. cards and membership cards you’ll be receiving in your first week. A
local cab number will also come in handy.
Read: Starter for Ten, by David Nicholls. It’s a witty and entertaining read
about one spotty student’s first year at university. You will laugh, cry and
cringe following the protagonist’s faltering steps into life as a fresher.
Share in his encounters at the ‘Tarts and Vicars’ fancy-dress party along
with his hapless attempts to woo the girl of his dreams.
Visit: the all-consuming Facebook. It will become your virtual home once you
enter student life, so you may as well start making friends now! Create a
group for your specific course at your university and start networking.
Join: at least one truly wacky society. When you’re at freshers fair, you’ll
surely leave with handfuls of freebies. But don’t forget the societies that
will overwhelm you, both in terms of their number and their bizarre breadth.
Be sure to join at least one of the peculiar, weird and wonderful societies
out there.
One of the best decisions I made (by accident) was to make friends with one of those guys who is never afraid to chat up a pretty girl. Almost invariably he was unsuccesful, but that meant the girl was soon looking for someone else to talk to, ie me!! I met a number of girlfriends that way!!
Phil Bailey, Shrewsbury, UK
Reccomendations from a mature student:
1. Get a bus pass and timetable.
2. Get to know the taxi numbers.
3. If sharing a kitchen with your flatmates, don't be a food imperialist - i.e. don't clog all the fridge with your stuff. Saves you some stress!
4. If you're of a particular religion, get to know where is the nearest place of worship or the way to the chaplaincy. It never hurts to know there's someone out there to hear you!
Anna, Norwich,
im heading off to college next year and am a bit nervous. Although i look forward to the new prospects and people I am quite a home bird...sometimes I wory if ill be able to cope. Any advice? It would be really appreciated.
Louise from Dublin, Dublin,
* Go to the mixers. You may feel like a freak at a hawiian/toga/james bond party, but trust me, you'll get to know people from outside your dorm.
* Having said that beware of predatory 3rd years...unless that's your thing!
* Don't think that the start of the 2nd term is too early to be looking for a house for your 2nd year. ESPECIALLY if you're going through the uni to do it, those student houses without rats/damp/mould/leaks/bodies under the floorboards go really really quickly.
*a bus pass is your best friend. invest.
*For God's sake don't tell any taxi driver/takeaway guy that you're new.
*Don't drink anything with an amusing name, you WILL vomit. purplenurples, jesus juice, brain hemmorages and flaming lamborghinis are NOT your friend. Oh and neither is anything in a pint glass that is not beer, as any fresher who went to Lancaster will know. Big'Uns hurt the next day!
Katy, Berkshire,
Especially for mature students.
I went to University at 58 years of age, a life long ambition. My way of coping with the first day was saying to myself "they will think I am either a Lecturer or a Cleaner". Once I actually sat in on my first lecture, everyone just treated me like any other student. In fact I was more inclined to put up barriers than the younger students - i.e. "no thank you I don't think I would feel quite at ease at a disco". On the other hand I went to Amsterdam with them and to an international school in Scotland. The main thing is to mingle where you feel confortable - you don't have to join the hockey club - you can always just support them. Do consider joining the mature students society and the philosophical society or any 'political' society as they are usually good for 'crack', socialising and really good debates. Finally remember if you are accepted in you have a right to be there. Enjoy, they were the best years of my life. Any questions?
Rita, Dublin, Ireland
For your first day, don't do what I did and pack all your good clothes away forgetting to leave a nice outfit out to arrive in, so you rock up at university wearing a too-short pair of Miss Selfridge trousers and a dobber camel polo neck, so you can't concentrate on being nice to anyone because you look like a total spod. (Mind you it was Cambridge so the fact that I wasn't wearing an alice band and a cable knit sweater covered in hamster fur probably means I was in the better dressed 10%. Just kidding, Cambridge! Or am I?)
Tessa, London,
It is also worth remembering that most freshers will end up back at home almost as much as they are at Uni.
Those terms can be pretty short and a lot of residential options require you to move in and out and the beginning and end of each of them (so they can hold conferences and stuff).
Don't completely ignore your old friends and family, you will need their company during your vacations.
Bob, Reading,
Don't rush your parents out of the door - take your time to say goodbye. That way you won't be wracked with guilt later on, and your mum won't be quite so devastated. When they leave, don't be ashamed to take five minutes to shut your door and take stock of the situation. Crucially, once that five minutes is up, shake yourself down and wedge the door open, stick some music on (something popular is best - it makes you approachable, rather than scaring everyone away with your country classics or heaviest metal!) and make a cup of tea. It worked for me! Just get on with sorting out your stuff and people will soon appear in your doorway to introduce themselves - and if they don't, you go to their doors. Have a wander round the accommodation or campus for a simple way of bonding without putting pressure on for Good luck to all the freshers out there - remember, it's never as bad as you think it will be!
Eleanor Potten, York,
A few things i learnt along the way
1) Not everyone you meet on the first day will end up being your best friend. In fact many of the people you meet in the first year may become a distant memory after the first term of year 2.
2)Make your own notes don't rely on the handouts...you'll be grateful you did when it is exam time.
3) Don't wait until dissertation to find out where the library is
4)Don't go home in between lectures, go to the library instead. If you go home you may be tempted to stay.
5) Keep parents updated on how you're doing. They'll worry less and will be less likely to make an unexpected visit.
6) Keep a supply of takeaway menus, they'll come in handy in the wee hours after a night out.
7) In the first week make a visit to the tourist centre and get a bus timetable and map of your new town.
8) get as many taxi numbers as you can in the first few weeks
9) taxi drivers will take advantage of a fresher and charge more if they know you're new in town.
Caresa , Birmingham,
My advice
1) Don't be too fussy about who your friends are. It's a university, virtually everyone is socially acceptable in the big wide world.
2) Do be fussy about clubs. You've got three years, and that's often not enough time to start in the middle and get something out. Decide what you want to do before coming up, and stick with it.
3) Don't worry about work. Almost everyone who goes through the motions passes.
4) Do worry about your subject, if you are able. If you care about the number of upper class male poets on the curriculum then you will contribute something worthwhile.
5) You've got to make your own decisions about sexual relationships, religion, work habits, money, drink, from now on and for the rest of your life. Choose wisely, and don't blame anyone else for your own decisions.
6) Write to Mum and Dad on day two. Don't ring.
Malcolm McLean, Bradford, UK