Lessons in self-control and empathy are as important as literacy and numeracy in preventing teenagers from dropping out of education, researchers claim. Skills absorbed at home by many middle-class children, such as how to defer gratification, are crucial in succeeding in life and should be taught in schools, they say.

A report to be published on Monday by the independent think-tank Demos, seen by The Times, suggests that children from deprived backgrounds need emotional guidance from schools at an early age. It says too little is done too late to tackle the problem of Neets — school-leavers not in education, employment or training. Teaching children the ability to share, or to manage feelings, is as relevant as lessons in maths and English, its authors say.

The report’s findings echo renewed interest in America in the marshmallow experiment of the late 1960s, which linked children’s self-control with educational achievement in later life. Walter Mischel, a professor of psychology, tested whether children could resist eating a marshmallow for 15 minutes if they were promised two after that time.

After being left alone, a third of the children ate the marshmallow straight away, a third cracked during the 15 minutes and a third successfully resisted temptation. Those who refrained did better academically on the whole.

Now researchers are planning to conduct brain scans of the adults who were tested as children in 1968, to see whether their behavioural differences can be detected.

Speaking this week to The New Yorker, Professor Mischel said that if children could deal with the emotions inherent in resisting a marshmallow then they could “study for the SAT (American end-of-school test) instead of watching television”.

He added: “And you can save more money for retirement. It’s not just about marshmallows.”

He found that children from lowincome families in the Bronx struggled to delay gratification. “When you grow up poor you might not practise delay as much, and if you don’t practise you’ll never figure out how to distract yourself [when faced with temptation],” he said.

The Demos report said that one in ten teenagers aged 16 to 18 was classified as Neet, describing them as “a status associated with huge costs”.

It said: “There has rightly been a strong focus on trying to reduce these numbers but it has met with limited success. This is because politicians and policymakers have failed to recognise the extent to which the very visible problem of disengagement post-16 is only the tip of the iceberg.

“Many of these young people have had poor experiences of the education system that long predate their Neet status. We are never going effectively to tackle disengagement in older groups unless we engage with why it is that some groups of children and young people seem to switch off from education at an earlier stage.”

The report said schools should focus on teaching social and emotional skills such as empathy, motivation, understanding and learning how to get along with others. It describes these as the “foundational skills a child needs to fully realise the benefits of learning in the classroom”, adding: “Research has demonstrated conclusively these skills are just as important as academic skills in explaining success, particularly for children from disadvantaged backgrounds.”

The report found that high-quality, flexible programmes devised and run by charities were often more effective than Westminster policies in tackling behavioural problems.

It said: “The financial benefits of intervening early are often realised later down the line. The tendency to prioritise firefighting means resources tend to be channelled to children with the highest levels of need.” This meant children’s problems had to “escalate” before they were helped.

It concluded that children’s emotional wellbeing should be given the same status in schools as narrow academic measures.

Sonia Sodha, co-author of the report and head of the capabilities programme at Demos, said children needed to learn about motivation, the ability to communicate, to control their behaviour and about delayed gratification. She said: “Unless we deliver on this, then schools are just not going to be able to tackle things like numeracy and literacy.”

The marshmallow test

• Conducted in 1968 by Walter Mischel, a professor of psychology

• In it a child was taken into a room containing a desk and a chair

• A plate was placed on the desk with a marshmallow on it

• Child was told he or she could eat it straight away, but if they waited 15 minutes they could have two Researcher left and watched child through a two-way mirror

• The results: about a third of children gave up straight away, a third resisted but failed during the 15 minutes, and a third were successful

• Researchers found correlation between those who could delay gratification and good school results

'It's not an add-on - it's basic'

Case study: Claremont Primary School

Lunchtime counselling sessions and lessons in how to be “emotionally literate” are an integral part of the school day at Claremont Primary.

The school is in Moss Side, an area of Manchester notorious for drugs, crime and deprivation.

Yet it is heavily oversubscribed, with a waiting list in every age group. Ofsted described it as a good school with many outstanding features. It puts heavy emphasis on teaching self-control, aspiration and motivation.

Pauline Dempsey, who has been the head teacher for 15 years, said: “This is one of the poorest areas in the country. More than 70 per cent of children qualify for free school meals, more than three fifths speak English as a second language, and there’s a high level of transience and turnover.

“Many children have underdeveloped personal and social skills. That and the language delay has a critical impact. Because this sort of thing is not countable, the Government seems to view it as a nice add-on if everything else is there.

“But it’s not an add-on, it’s basic — learning to manage your feelings despite what’s going on at home, realising the benefits of learning and being taught how to share and take turns. You need those skills for learning in school and in life. We do lessons in social and emotional aspects of learning.”

Claremont is one of 146 schools using Place To Be, a charity that provides trained counsellors who work with children.

Lunchtime sessions allow pupils to book confidential ten-minute appointments to discuss upsetting problems.

Ms Dempsey said: “It feels like part of the school, not an afterthought. The children really like it and are much more open. It’s just as important as maths, literacy, speaking and language.”

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