The economy is faltering, the poll ratings are plummeting, and the party seems
to be in for a drubbing at the imminent local elections. But there has been
one glimmer of optimism for the Labour Party this month, in the form of one
Wes Streeting.
Mr Streeting is the first non-female and non-blonde president of the National
Union of Students in six years, but more to the point, he is the only Labour
president in four years (despite Labour dominating the presidency for the
overwhelming majority of NUS’s illustrious history).
Fresh from victory, the president-elect has launched himself into a spot of
good old Boris-bashing
(all the while heralding Ken as a “student-friendly” saviour). In a blog
post and Facebook note, Streeting urges students to avert what he describes
as “the nightmare of our capital being run by Boris Johnson”. It is fair to
say that NUS officers across the spectrum are getting in a spin about the
looming prospect of Johnson as mayor, with Facebook
groups, notes, profiles and statuses cropping up daily to alert students
to what they see as London’s impending apocalypse.
While Labour Students, along with all manner of other left-leaning student
groups, are vigorously united around the anti-Boris banner, one gets a
sneaking suspicion that Tory students (or Conservative Future, to give them
their proper name) are utterly chuffed that Boris is the Conservatives' man
for mayor. After all, Boris has all too literally been a poster-boy for the
group. He was the man chosen to adorn the rooms of students across the UK,
when Conservative Future printed a set of what came to be highly-prized
posters that made Conservative stalls at freshers’ fairs across the country
the places to be.
It all started with “I heart Boris” badges that first popped up at 2006's NUS
Conference and then re-appeared at the nation’s students’ unions along with
those quite delightful pop-art posters: Boris Johnson reincarnated as
Marilyn Monroe in one design; Lord Kitchener in another.
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson may be a poster-boy for a generation of
students, but you could be forgiven for assuming that he would want to get
as far away from his own student days as he possibly could. Alas, not. For
his part, Boris has been dredging up his good-old-student-days as if there
were no (election) tomorrow.
“Have you ever seen his room?” one senior Conservative asked political
aficionado Andrew Rawnsley, “before going on to describe in aghast detail
how Boris's quarters at the Commons were a smelly anarchy of papers and old
gym shoes”. “It's like the worst sort of student dig,” the MP revealed; the
observation proving to be quite a dig itself, for a man who may well rather
wish his student days were forgotten about, thanks to membership (along with
David Cameron) of the infamous Bullingdon Club.
Then, it was those pesky drugs. Earlier this month, the press jumped on the
“revelation” that Boris had taken cocaine as a 19-year old Oxford undergrad,
as disclosed to Janet Street-Porter.
However, as any Boris/ Have I Got News For You fans will attest, this was far
from news. In one
of his numerous legendary stints as host, the MP for Henley revealed
that he “tried to” snort cocaine once, “unsuccessfully, a long time ago.”
What exactly was unsuccessful about it?
“I sneezed, I, I, sneezed … it was only a very small quantity, it was a long,
long time ago; I think it’s probably a totally disgusting and ridiculous
thing to do and I’m very, very, very, very, very – wrong and bad”, he told
the HIGNFY audience to hoots of laughter all round.
“I think you’re commendably honest actually Boris”, one of the panellists
declared. But as usual, it is Boris himself who probably best sums up the
situation: “I think recklessly honest is probably the right word”.
— Finding an issue to unite the disparate and warring student factions is as
difficult as getting Ken Livingstone to apologise. But they seem to have
found one. Student Round-up can reveal the one thing marginally worse for
the fate of mankind than Boris Johnson: the British National Party. The
message coming from all corners of the student movement is that every
student in the country must use his or her vote for whoever, in order to
thwart the BNP from claiming much-anticipated success in the upcoming
elections.
The last time the BNP caused such a rumpus in student circles was only in
November of last year when its leader, Nick Griffin was offered – along with
holocaust-denier David Irving – the hallowed platform of the Oxford Union.
It is clear that the Union has lost none of its fervour for provoking
controversy, placing themselves in The Thick of It once again. This time
it's Chris Langham, the BBC sitcom star convicted and jailed for 15 counts
of downloading images of child abuse, who was invited to speak at the
self-proclaimed “world's most prestigious debating society”.
Unlike Griffin and Irving, whose invitations were dishonourably honoured,
Langham’s was quite swiftly withdrawn following unwanted press attention.
"We probably should have realised the uproar it would cause but hindsight is
a great thing, it was probably a mistake" said Ben Glazer, spokesman for the
Oxford Union. So the massive and highly-publicised protests outside the
Union in November, which resulted in some students even storming the
building, weren’t enough to bring on such a realisation?
So Mr Langham was invited purely for his artistic achievement? Mr Glazer
added: “We felt with the negative press and comments surrounding the debate
it was over-shadowing the great term of speakers we have booked.”
By that, Mr Glazer must be referring to a glittering roster of speakers that
will confirm the Union as a hotbed of high-brow academic discussion. This
term's speakers include Jodie Marsh, Geri Halliwell, and Barry from
Eastenders, no less.
If you know of a student story that you think should be featured in our
news round-up, please contact Etan Smallman at etansmallman@gmail.com.
