Havaiana flip-flops–check. Khaki-camouflage board-shorts – check. Water/sand/sun-proof iPod packed – check. Gone are the days when you needed dreadlocks, tie-dyed sarongs and a spliff permanently fixed to your hand to be a backpacker in Thailand.

These days the seminal backpacker drop-off, and access-point to South-East Asia, has become a haven for first-time travellers and fortnight-beach-worshippers alike. You're more likely to see a laptop than a copy of "The Beach" – but don't let that stop you. Island hopping around Thailand's unique coastline will pack a punch unlike any other beach holiday you'll find - for both good and bad reasons – I should know, I spent three weeks there on my year out.

It's location in the north-western corner of SE Asia makes Thailand the perfect location for starting your travels, and Bangkok couldn't be more inviting. This filthy, shabby back alley of the east is host to more surprises per square kilometer than almost any other capital city I've seen yet. If you're not being harassed into eating fried insects, sniffed in the crotch by stray dogs or gawping at the hideous tribal tattoos adorning every other new-age backpacker, you're probably being led off to some dingy strip club to watch 20-year-old girls fire ping-pong balls at you while you drink overpriced beers and laugh uncomfortably.

The distinct lack of really fulfilling tourists sights will leave you traipsing up and down the famed Khoa San Road, spending all your Baht in the western fast-food joints. But this place is electric – clambering into sweaty box-rooms with no air-con, risking death in the back of noisy tuk-tuks and meeting a hundred other backpackers just like you makes Bangkok an assault on your senses that is hard to match in any other Asian city.

That said, no one wants to overstay their welcome here. Heading south, my travelling companion and my plan was to cram two weeks of island hopping into our three-week visit. First stop – Koh Phi Phi. Our supposed 10-hour journey lasted a whopping 21 hours – a bit of a drag despite the relative comfort of the nightbuses (note to travellers: watch out for misquoted journey times on Thai buses). But you won't be disappointed.

Harassed by hotel touts as soon as we were off the ferry, we checked in and within minutes were on the beach amongst muscle-men playing volleyball and footballers' wives doing their make-up in the 35 degree heat. Apparently, this is the place to go if you think that you're good-looking. But getting away from the glitz is easy. Steering clear of the microscopic jellyfish and the poser-infested beaches, we're soon wandering this sandy-pathed, palm tree-lined island paradise, gorging on the amazing stock or freshly caught seafood and sinking buckets of alcohol until we have just the moonlight to guide us back to our hotel room. Just watch out for those annoying (and amateur) fire dancers waving their flaming sticks in your direction while you're drunkenly stumbling along the beach.

Koh Phi Phi is known for two things – the destruction (and subsequent rebuilding) post the 2004 Boxing Day tsunami, and as the place where Danny Boyle flick "The Beach" starring Leo DiCaprio, was filmed. The boat trip around Ko Phi-Phi and its surrounding islands was a highlight. Miss this trip at your peril – it's a day long feast of coral snorkelling, cliff jumping and white-sand-beach meanderings and is worth every penny.

Heading 12 hours eastwards (a journey that entailed a ferry, two buses, another ferry and a lorry) we carried on to the island of Koh Samui – one coast, the village of Chaweng, is seemingly a supermarket of fake designer goods. Every shop and market stall sells fake sunglasses and fake boardshorts. Fake handbags, fake shoes, fake DVDs, CDs and computer games. Even fake Dali paintings. This whole town thrives on a industry of selling ripped-off stuff to cheap tourists. Its tacky and imposing and I was ready to run away scared when I happened upon a whole street full of ladyboys (Koh Samui's second selling point), and before long I'm being felt up by post-op transvestites and chasing them round the backstreets. The daily ladyboy shows are outstanding – just don't volunteer near the end of the show!

Ditching Koh Samui the next day, we hitched an hour-long ferry-ride across the water to Koh Pha Ngan – party capital of Thailand and site of the infamous Full Moon Party. The island itself is gorgeous – the water is as clear as the cloudless sky, and the baking sun is a pleasant change from the often-overcast western coast of Thailand. Overrun with package holiday teenagers, don't expect to get any sleep – nor to swim in the hotel pool after one of its renowned 'pool parties'.

But the climax of a trip to Thailand has to be your first Full Moon Party, Koh Pha Ngan-style. It could also be your last. Inextricably linked with fluro body paints and buckets of vodka packed with mind-altering levels of Redbull, the party starts at dawn, packing over 10,000 revellers onto the beach. By midnight its rammed from shoreline to bar line, strewn with broken beer bottles and lost flip-flops. The constant roar of the numerous different beach bars is deafening and the atmosphere muted by the overcrowding. But 3 hours later we're onto a better thing – the waning crowds have more room to dance and fewer drunk people to stand on. And with the rising sun we stumbled home, packed our stuff, and headed back to Bangkok, and out of South-east Asia.

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