Students. Sex. And ethical endeavours. A triumvirate of elements that form the perfect student news snippet, I'm sure you'll agree.

So it is with great pleasure that we report that the NUS is on the lookout for "condom ambassadors" for an ethical brand of rubbers to rival market leader, Durex. The people who brought you One water are now presenting "One" condoms, using the money raised – fittingly – to combat HIV and Aids in southern Africa.

If you would like to be one such ambassador, helping to encourage students' unions and universities to stock the ethical brand, email stephen@global-ethics.com to jump on board.

They're like buses aren't they? You wait for one condom story and then three come along at once. Admittedly, last week was national condom week, would you believe it. But it is surely a matter of complete coincidence that it coincided with a veritable rash of condom-student related stories.

In Coventry , students have been showered with condoms and other safe sex goodies, while Nouse , the York University newspaper, reports that "negative feedback" from students "including reports of breakages and a sharp increase in requests from students for pregnancy tests" have led York's student union to switch back to market-leader Durex.

— Are you one of those people who is simply dying to be a funeral director? Well, guess what... your mortal wish has now come true. Adding to the list of what those darned critics dub mickey-mouse courses, the University of Bath is now offering a two-year degree for funeral directors. Let's just hope it doesn't lead to a dead-end job (every pun intended).

— While you're all striving for that 1st/ 2:1/ any-old-pass – delete as applicable – there's one commodity that is proving to be just as sought after: privacy.

Professor Geraint Johnes of Lancaster University has been ticked off for breaching data protection laws. The economics lecturer gave details of a student's timetable to his mother, after she emailed to say that her son was drinking and smoking too much.

The mother surely deserves an accolade for the most concise summing up of student life ever uttered: "I, very wrongly it seems, assumed that he would be fully engaged. He is now quite addicted to alcohol, smokes and has spent a great deal of time over the last nine months asleep." In turn, the student concerned, Christian Gardner, complained to the university. He has since expressed surprise that information was disclosed to his mother without his permission.

"Other parents had telephoned and had been told the university could not say whether a student was alive or dead", he said.

— Meanwhile, Nick Clegg, the Liberal Democrat leader, has been embarrassed by a piece of information which was also a little too freely available for his liking. The latest issue of Varsity, the Cambridge paper, reports that Clegg has been invited to re-join the Cambridge University Conservative Association after he was exposed as an active Tory during his time student days.

Mike Morley, the CUCA chairman, has been rubbing his hands with glee at the news, and written to Clegg advising him of the benefits of re-joining, including reduced priced tickets to "our social events, including the May week garden party and termly chairman’s dinner." Mr Clegg has responded with a statement that he is "one hundred per cent adamant that this is not true".

Clegg joins a growing list of politicians whose student days are a source of mounting embarrassment. But one can only dream what copious quantities of juicy and incriminating evidence would be cropping up, had Facebook been around in the days of Clegg, Cameron, Johnson et al.

Crucially, with just a solitary old photo well and truly thwarting Cameron's attempts to portray himself as the humble man of the people, you dread to think what cyberspace holds in store for today's generation of future political stars.

How interesting then that in the very same issue, Varsity notes that proctors at Oxford University are using photographic evidence gathered from Facebook to fine students for misbehaviour. With fines ranging from £80 to £500 and increasing numbers of indiscreet photos popping up on the social-networking site, the student union claims that the university's revenue from the fines has risen by 465% to £11,065 in the last year alone.

So it seems we don't even need to wait to reach the dizzying heights of political power, before our student excesses come back to haunt us.

Hold on, what's that? The sound of students across the country scrabbling for the "Disable Account" button, by any chance?

With Facebook friends like these, who needs enemies?

If you know of a student story that you think should be featured in our news round-up, please contact Etan Smallman at etansmallman@gmail.com.

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