What is it about Christmas? You spend months anticipating the silly season: buying sparkly clothes, convincing yourself that you can walk in 5in platforms and that wine won’t give you a hangover. Add to that your fantasies of being Nigella in the kitchen, catering for convivial Walton-esque get-togethers, and the pressure is really on. Then, when you finally get to it, reality bites and you feel steamrollered by the whole darn thing.

The way to get through it is to think of it as a gathering that isn’t a party as such, or even a formal festive feast, but more a chance to hang out with a few like-minded people.

Make sure everyone knows it’s relaxed – that they can turn up early, late, whenever – and see what happens. Some will arrive while you’re cooking and settle in for the duration, others will pitch up drunk and late from another party and want to hoover up something hot. The comings and goings will lift the energy of the gathering (in the 1960s, after-dinner guests were known as “refreshers”).

Cook something that won’t spoil, so you can make it in advance, and that is delicious and comforting, but not too rich. When in doubt, remember that a great pie, like a pair of jeans, will always be the perfect solution.

How to Feed Your Friends with Relish by Joanna Weinberg (Bloomsbury £20)

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