‘All you can eat’ is an ominous phrase. On the one hand, the idea of infinite restaurant food sounds like paradise on earth. On the other, it sends shivers down my spine, for it is a dangerous instruction. 'All you can eat' is not the right amount, by any standard, and I know I am prone to take it literally.

In Britain, Pizza Hut and the occasional Chinese restaurants are generally the only places you can go on an explicit stuff-your-face mission. There are online forums devoted to this topic and it seems that you have to work hard to get your money's worth at Pizza Hut. They invariably present you with the cheapest, doughiest of pizzas so you fill up quickly on what costs them mere pennies. (The pizza-only lunch deal costs £4.99. For another quid you can have pasta and salad too.)

While all you can eat isn't a huge thing in Britain, it is in other countries. I have recently returned from holiday in Abu Dhabi, in the UAE, where some of the most notorious meals in town are all you can eat mega buffets - and these are not at Pizza Hut. These are top-drawer halls of food, from sushi to shwarma (pita stuffed with meat) to chocolate tart. Faced with the spreads of a lifetime I behaved masochistically. It wasn’t until afterwards that I realised the quality of the food was not so outstanding and I had been blinded by quantity.

One day I went to the all-you-can-drink (champagne) and eat brunch at the Sheraton Abu Dhabi. This is a top hotel, very elegant, with a view out to the pool.

My first plate combined tuna rolls, foccaccia, a mini-shwarma wrap, a lentil-based dish and a healthy dollop of hummous. How cool is that? So cool that, though satiated, I went back for a round of quiche, omelette, more hummous, schwarma and some white fish. I felt remarkably full but couldn't shake the feeling that since I could eat as much as I wanted, and had already paid a fixed price (about £20), two plates wouldn't cut it. I managed to pick at a few more savouries, stopping only because I was satisfied I had at least tried all the highlights.

Now it was time for dessert.

Fruit is for losers. In front of me stood a four-metre counter patterned with every kind of cake, tart, parfait and mousse known to man. I brought as much as I could possibly hold in two trips to the table. To my credit, I didn't intend to, or end up, eating it all. A bite was enough in some cases - at least I had laid claim to it.

When I finally left, I felt ominously fine, yet appalled at how brazenly, almost systematically, I had ignored all my natural stop-points. "Full?", I sneered at my stretching stomach. "Get over it. I'm getting my money's worth."

But half-an-hour later I was paying for it - not in money - but in physical agony and paroxysms of self-disgust. The hot-headed pursuit of maximum value turned out to be a bad one.

You would think I had learned my lesson after this episode, but, hearing that the Shangri La buffet was superior even to the Sheraton's, by noon the next day I was back at the table. And left, again, feeling woefully ill.

Why was the prospect of ‘one price, eat all’ so powerful that I happily gave up my wellbeing for it? In both cases, I think I strove to eat more than I paid for, and it seems I am not alone.

Anna Denny, of the British Nutrition Foundation, says: "Most people confronted with a buffet will overeat. It's the idea of [wanting] to get your money's worth, even though all you can eat, especially in this country and the US, can be quite cheap."

When you eat at home, dinner is apportioned. When you finish your plate, that's the end of the “meal occasion”, she says.

With canapes or buffets there simply is no obvious end to the meal.

"We've got a strong ability to override the sense of fullness," Denny says. She also points out that the type of food found in buffets tends to be fatty, which stimulates us to crave more.

"It would be interesting to see how people would react if faced with a buffet of bean sprouts and broccoli," she says.

I thank my lucky stars I don't live in the US; land of the widespread buffet restaurant.

The website punny.org offers a great insight into how Americans might tackle the all-you-can-eat scenario, with a guide devoted to how to break even and above.

"One major problem has plagued buffet-eaters throughout the ages: a few plates later and you can’t eat any more. Even folks of gargantuan proportions often find themselves unable to down enough food to justify the price tag," muses one blogger.

So, even after stuffing my face, I bet I didn't even break even.

Tips for getting your money's worth at an all you can eat buffet:

- Do not starve yourself ahead of time

- Load up on carbs beforehand

- Clear the [intestinal] runway

- Get there early

- Bring a book

- Avoid the temptation to down a mug of soft drink. The only digestive aid you should use is time

Do you overeat at an all you can eat? Post your views in the feedback box below

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