I’m not the most practical picnicker. I’ve long had a strange aspiration to hold a dinner party in the middle of a traffic island, preferably in Swindon, with musical accompaniment provided by the naked organist from Monty Python. Even on the most basic outdoor eating excursion, I like to turn up with a basket of serious provisions — a few hunks of cheese, some ripe fruit, decent bread — draped in a linen tea towel, or, better still, packed into a hamper, the sort of thing people might have taken on a country jaunt in days gone by. There was a man in the 1920s who invented a box that fitted onto the engine of a Rolls-Royce and was capable of roasting a chicken to perfection in the time it took to motor from Boulogne to Beauvais. I thoroughly approve. I always feel let down when people arrive with a packet of mini quiches and a family-size bag of crisps. At picnics, I want bacchanalian abundance and vivid flavour.

So, I’m afraid I’ve ignored the normal picnic convention of “stick to finger food” and have gone for stuff that requires you to bring along plates and cutlery. If you wish to pursue the more traditional sandwich route, make a pan-bagnat, a hollowed-out loaf filled with layers of tuna, anchovies, capers, red onion, lettuce and herbs, dressed with olive oil, then tightly wrapped in clingfilm and left in the fridge, so the flavours can get to know each other.

By the way, I am assuming you have some way of keeping things cool. Wilted is never a good look — even alfresco.

What else to pack

* A big bowl of cherries or strawberries.
* A few ripe melons, nectarines and peaches.
* A selection of goat’s cheese — soft, hard, with rind and rindless — or other summer cheeses, say a whole brie de melun.
* Good sourdough bread.
* Hard-boiled eggs, to be dipped in ground cumin and sea salt. For perfect eggs, cover with cold water, bring to a boil and cook for 6 minutes (this should give a softly hard yolk). Run under the cold tap for 1 minute to stop them cooking, then leave in a bowl of cold water to cool.
* Dark, crinkly Moroccan olives, kalamata or plump green ones marinated in lemon and coriander.
* Prosecco, because it’s lighter than champagne, and a lot cheaper. So you can drink more of it.
* Napkins, plates, serving bowls, cutlery, glasses/cups, bread knife, salad spoon and fork, corkscrew/bottle-opener.

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