I’m surprised Michael Winner thinks his readers believe he never ventures north of Watford, bearing in mind his choice of shoes in last week’s photo.

John Faulkner, Buckinghamshire

How perfectly thrilling to find your other fan is also a queen. Must say, I thought your shoes were heavenly. Where did you park your yacht?

Don Roberts, Cheshire

Judging from the fit of your jacket and cut of the strides, it’s obvious your tailor has a sense of humour.

Harry Hannam, Mansfield (north of Watford)

“Fourth review of a northern place this year,” you say. Kidderminster in Worcestershire! You need a geography lesson.

David Leyland, Wigan (in the north)

Geraldine, watch out! You have competition for Michael’s affections. Sarah Palin is a former beauty queen, she hunts, shoots and fishes and her favourite meal is mooseburgers. She’s governor of Alaska and John McCain’s vice-presidential running mate. Two small snags: she has five kids and is happily married. But why should trivia like that put the great man off?

Douglas Brown, Leeds

Hotel employee T-shirts for your staff! What next? Individually wrapped grains of sand to remind them of the hideously expensive beaches you recline upon while they keep the show running?

Paul Wren, Northamptonshire

Send letters to Winner’s Dinners, The Sunday Times, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1ST or e-mail michael.winner@sunday-times.co.uk

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