She might well hate you for ever if you serve her this, but my God, it’s delicious. Some cooks – mainly women, especially those who insist men should sit down to urinate – leave out the beef suet. If you come across any recipes that do likewise, make threatening calls to the author and wait outside their house, panting.

Serves 4

For the pastry
300g self-raising flour
½ tsp salt
150g beef suet, shredded

For the filling
750g braising or rump steak
260g ox kidney
4 tbsp plain flour
Salt
Black pepper
Olive oil
1 large onion, finely chopped
500ml beef stock
Splash of worcestershire sauce
1 tbsp port
1 bay leaf
10 canned smoked oysters

For the mash
2 carrots
1 swede
2 large potatoes
2 turnips
Butter Mace (optional)
25ml double cream

To make the pastry, sift the flour and salt into a bowl and stir in the suet. Add enough cold water, about 175ml, to mix to a soft and pliable dough. Roll out about two-thirds of it onto a floured surface: this should line a 3pt (1.4 litre) pudding basin. Put the lined basin aside.

Cut the meat and kidneys into chunks, making sure you remove the white gristle from the centre of each kidney. Roll the chunks in flour seasoned with pepper and salt. In a frying pan, brown the chunks of meat and offal in oil for about 5 minutes and transfer to a casserole dish. Gently fry the onion in oil for about 10 minutes and transfer to the casserole dish. Heat the beef stock and add to the casserole, along with the worcestershire sauce, port and bay leaf. Season to taste. Shove a lid on it and simmer gently for 90 minutes. Add the smoked oysters and stir them in well.

Roll out your remaining pastry to make a lid for the pudding. Brush the top edges of the dough lining the basin with water. Fill the pudding basin with your meaty casserole, lay the lid on top and press gently to seal. Cover the top of the pudding with a double thickness of greaseproof paper, secured below the rim with string. Shove some foil on top of this. Place the basin on a trivet in a large saucepan. Add water to come to halfway up the basin and steam for 3 hours, occasionally topping up the water.

Twenty minutes before serving time, cut up the vegetables – the carrots smallest (by a long way), the swede next smallest, then the potatoes and finally the turnips (the largest chunks). Boil in water with a pinch of salt for about 18 minutes, until they are all soft. Drain, return to the saucepan, add a knob of butter, black pepper, salt and mace. Heat the cream until it bubbles, then pour into the saucepan. Mash roughly with a strong and determined expression.

Invert the pudding onto a serving plate. Slice open and serve alongside the mash.

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