BABY BLUES (Under 1 year old)

Colic

The only certainty about colic is that it’s a nightmare for parents. Otherwise, all is doubt and confusion: the source of your baby’s distress is unclear, the cause unknown and the treatments disappointing. The typical scenario involves your baby spending a large part of the day crying inconsolably for no obvious reason, while you bang your head against a brick wall.

The long list of treatments researched, including cranial osteopathy and car-ride simulators, are a testament to parental desperation and therapeutic impotence. There is some evidence that low-lactose milk formulas, or hypoallergenic formulas that eliminate cow’s milk protein, help occasionally. Or, if you’re breast-feeding, you can try excluding all dairy products from your diet. And simeticone drops, available over the counter, sometimes do the trick.

Otherwise, it’s a question of dumping squawking junior on a grandparental lap to maintain your sanity. Meanwhile, think positive: colic doesn’t harm your baby and usually fizzles out by the time your baby is 4 months.

Nappy rash

Technically, this is an irritant dermatitis, with secondary candidal infection. In other words, you’d have a sore, fungal bottom if you sat around in poo and wee for part of the day. Treatment is simple: a cream containing hydrocortisone and an antifungal, combined with leaving the nappy area exposed as much as is practical. The main problem is maternal guilt, as nappy rash is sometimes interpreted as an indictment of parenting skills. It isn’t. In fact, if your baby has diarrhoea, it’s almost inevitable.

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT (Ages 1-12)

Asthma

This is common and usually reveals itself via a persistent nighttime or postexercise cough rather than the wheeze familiar to adult asthmatics. Many grow out of it, though the most severely affected – and those also suffering hay fever and eczema – are more likely to continue with symptoms into adulthood.

Obsessional house-dust-mite-busting manoeuvres and dietary manipulation are hard work, show mixed results and distract the focus from effective treatment: prescribed inhalers. The blue puffer, or “treater”, opens up the airways; the brown “preventer” eases the accompanying inflammation. They are safe and helpful, provided parents agree to use them – they don’t always once they discover that the preventer contains the dreaded steroid. Obviously, passive smoking is to be avoided and an annual flu jab is recommended for the worst affected.

Eczema

This is even more common than asthma and also tends to improve in adulthood. In most cases, children inherit an “eczema tendency”, the disease itself being triggered by environmental factors. The result is an itchy, red rash, typically in skin creases. The conventional treatment involves large amounts of emollients to moisturise dry skin, with a mild steroid cream for inflamed areas. However, as for asthma, parents need to overcome their steroid phobia. Those keen on cure rather than suppression may question the role of diet or house-dust allergy. These play a significant role in only a small minority of children. Besides, restrictive diets and house-dust bashing are worth considering only in severe, resistant cases.

TERRIBLE TEENS (From 13 to 19)

Acne

Zits on face, chest and back are as much part of adolescence as slammed bedroom doors. They result from a combination of hormonal torment, blocked pores and infection. Treatment starts with myth-busting: no, it’s not caused by being dirty, and, no, diet doesn’t seem to play a big role, though good personal hygiene and healthy eating aren’t bad ideas. Next stop? The chemist to try some of the many creams, gels or lotions that contain benzoyl peroxide. They often do the trick, though they need perseverance and can sting at first. If you’re getting nowhere, or your acne’s severe, see your GP. Treatment usually involves long-term antibiotic tablets or lotions, or, in girls, a particular type of contraceptive pill. If they’re really suffering, they can be referred to a skin specialist, who will ride to the rescue brandishing powerful acne-busting medication, such as isotretinoin capsules.

Period problems

This usually means heavy or frequent bleeding, pain, or both. There’s almost never any serious underlying problem; it’s simply the menstrual cycle kicking into gear. Ibuprofen helps all symptoms, though GPs often view teenage “period trouble” as a covert request for the Pill, and they’re often right.

Occasionally, girls attend with the opposite problem: absent periods, or dysmenorrhoea. If persistent, and once pregnancy has been excluded, a number of possible underlying problems need ruling out, such as thyroid disease, polycystic ovaries, stress, hormone trouble and eating disorders. Usually, though, no cause is found and, after a while, the problem corrects itself.

GIRL TROUBLES (That women aged 20-40 have)

Fertility

Either you’re trying to suppress it, using contraceptive methods, or you’re battling to stimulate it. And though infertility should be seen as an issue shared with your partner, it’s invariably presented by the female.

The best advice for couples desperately hoping for a positive pregnancy test is to remain patient: 80 per cent are lucky in the first year and half of the remainder succeed in the second, although it may take a bit longer for the over35s. A healthy lifestyle for both partners is sensible, while fretting over ovulation dates and the timing of sex probably isn’t. A fruitless couple of years should prompt an appointment with your GP to trigger the rollercoaster of tests and possible treatment; sooner if you’re over 35.

Breast lumps

These are commonly presented to the GP but, in this age group, only rarely turn out to be cancer (up to the age of 40 women have a one in 200 risk of developing breast cancer), other problems such as benign swellings and “normal” lumpiness are much more likely. Which is one reason why the Department of Health no longer advocates regular, routine self-examination. Far from picking up significant cancer early, self-checking just seems to highlight harmless abnormalities, leading to unnecessary worry and biopsies. Instead, the woollier concept of breast awareness is promoted, which replaces obsessional checking with reasonable vigilance. Nonetheless, any lump which persists after your next period should be examined promptly by your GP and may well result in a referral to a specialist, though, ultimately, the news is likely to be good.

BOYS WILL BE BOYS (Even if they’re men: 20-40)

Depression

Wild horses wouldn’t drag you to your GP, but your partner might, if she thought you were seriously depressed. Or you might present with one of the depression “spin-offs”, such as tiredness, insomnia, or temper outbursts. The distinction between normal, situational sadness and true depression is difficult and arbitrary. But if the black cloud of gloom and the loss of motivation are disrupting your life, it’s time to take action. This involves cleaning up your act (diet, alcohol, drugs, exercise), listing and dealing with sources of stress, and talking things over with anyone prepared to offer a listening ear and support. If you’re still spiralling downwards, and especially if you feel suicidal, see your GP.

Knee problems

An appointment for a dodgy knee is less stigmatising because it’s associated with caveman activities such as rugby and football. The younger you are and the more sudden the onset, the greater the likelihood of an injury to cartilage or ligament. Initial treatment involves rest, ice, elevation, compression and antiinflammatories, followed by a gradual return to activities. Recurrent problems, especially with swelling, may require referral to an orthopaedic surgeon. Older guys with more gradual onset of knee ache may find this represents, like wrinkles, the wear and tear of middle age. Treat with painkillers, quadricep exercises and weight loss if your waist has expanded.

WOMEN OF A CERTAIN AGE (That’s 40-60, by the way)

Menopause

Freedom from periods may come at a price, specifically: flushes, sweats (often worse at night) and vaginal dryness as your body suffers oestrogen withdrawal. Until recently, this might well have had you badgering your GP for hormone replacement therapy (HRT). Now the risks of treatment are clearer, the menopausal masses tend to gravitate towards the local pharmacy in search of something herbal.

Any evidence of benefit is flimsy, but black cohosh, red clover and St John’s wort may be useful, and at least help to pass the time until the menopause is over. GPs can still prescribe treatments that sometimes ease the misery – yes, even HRT – after a full discussion of the risk-benefit ratio.

Incontinence

At least as common as hot flushes and probably more distressing. It results either from “detrusor instability”, in which the bladder refuses to hold sensible quantities of urine, or “stress incontinence”, when weakened pelvic-floor muscles provide inadequate bladder support. The former causes frequent, urgent toilet trips; the latter leads to leakage on coughing and sneezing. “Bladder retraining” and pelvic-floor exercises may help. In severe cases, medication or even surgery, to help support the pelvic floor, may be needed.

THE MATURE GENTLEMAN (40-60)

High blood pressure (hypertension)

You don’t see the doctor often, so, when you do attend, he may nab you for a blood-pressure check. The bad news is that he may decide it’s too high, not least because current guidelines set treatment thresholds so low that hypertension is fast becoming the default state in middle age and beyond. Some self-help may fend off pills, or keep them to a minimum. So increase your exercise levels, lose weight if you’re bursting out of your trousers and don’t overdo salt or booze.

If you’re a smoker, make sure that you kick the habit; it won’t lower your blood pressure but it will significantly raise your life expectancy.

Erectile dysfunction (ED)

This used to be called impotence and means the inability to achieve or sustain an erection. The occasional failure to rise to the occasion can be put down to tiredness. More persistent problems may respond to the same sort of lifestyle make-over for hypertension; and spicing up your sex life may help, too, though, admittedly, this might push your blood pressure up again.

If you’re still having problems, visit your GP; first, to establish and treat any underlying cause such as circulatory trouble, medication side-effects, psychological problems and diabetes; and, secondly, to provide treatment, usually in the form of the magic blue pills, or similar.

THE GOLDEN YEARS (60s and older)

Grandad’s prostate trouble

A swollen prostate isn’t the only cause of plumbing problems, but it’s certainly a key suspect. Prostate cancer is rarely implicated, though, being common in the elderly, it’s not unusual for it to be discovered coincidentally. The real issue is benign prostate enlargement irritating the bladder, resulting in a variety of urinary symptoms, especially a poor stream and frequent night trips to the toilet. It may help to restrict fluids in the evening, especially alcohol. If your symptoms are severe, tablets or surgery may be needed.

Grandma’s osteoporosis

Thin bones cause no pain – until you fall over, at which point you’re at increased risk of fracture, especially of the hip and wrist. It’s too late to consider prevention: most of your bone mass was formed when you were younger. And, hopefully, you minimised your future risk by not smoking or drinking excessively, eating plenty of calcium and doing lots of exercise. Probably the most effective preventive measures at this stage are checking your eyesight and removing trip hazards in the home to minimise the risk of falls.

Osteoarthritis

Inevitably, your shock-absorbers wear down, especially in the hips and knees, causing pain and stiffness. It’s important to remain active, which helps your balance and muscle strength. Try losing any excess weight and don’t hesitate to use painkillers, though the jury’s still out on glucosamine: the most recent review suggests it does little or nothing to help. The most severely affected find that joint-replacement surgery can be life-transforming.

Explore Health

• Expert Advice

• Health Features

• Mental Health

• Alternative Medicine

• Child Health