Christmas lights in the centre of London and other cities are apparently brighter than ever in an attempt to attract shoppers made anxious by the credit crunch. What is certain is that however tight the budget squeeze this year families will still get together at Christmas as they have always done.

And when ageing relatives or friends join the festivities it gives us the opportunity to see the toll the additional year has taken on them, mentally and physically.

How can we tell which older members of the family have the first signs and symptoms of Lewy Body dementia, Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia, or a mixture of more than one type of dementia, rather than merely suffering from mild cognitive impairment?

Mild cognitive impairment was formerly classified with benign memory loss of old age, or simply regarded as forgetfulness. Now it is recognised as a specific entity and is a term applied to people who have rather more memory problems than most of their contemporaries. However, if people are still able to live independently, solve everyday problems, clean the house, drive their cars, pay bills and argue about football, the American presidential elections or the economy, they haven’t as yet developed dementia.

Older people and their relatives should take comfort that mislaid keys, like grey hair, wrinkles and baldness, are the inevitable markers of age and that to a greater or lesser extent these signs and symptoms affect everyone fortunate enough to make old bones. Creaky old bones, creaky old memory — that’s just how it is.

The American Alzheimer’s Association gives examples of what is considered the normal forgetfulness of old age. Forgetting only parts of an occasion, so that someone remembers much but not all of what happened at a dinner, is to be expected, but to forget everything about it would be worrying. Similarly, it is to be assumed that all older drivers will from time to time forget where the car is parked, but if they have forgotten how to start the car or to turn on lights or windscreen washers it is abnormal. Likewise, few older people always remember someone’s name, but they should remember having met the person before and, once reminded who they are with a clue or two, can remember everything about them. To lose spectacles or a wallet is standard practice, but later to find them in the bread bin or fridge is disturbing.

At the family Christmas party, provided that the alcohol has been served generously but wisely and that the Christmas dinner hasn’t been so delayed that guests are hypoglycaemic with hunger, most people will behave well and courteously. Whatever the foibles and eccentricities of older members, the Christmas goodwill will ensure that they are acceptable and their presence will be valued for whatever it brings.

Next year on January 12 at Bafta, 195 Piccadilly, London, there is the chance to meet a star-studded audience during an evening of entertainment designed to enhance respect and improve the care of the elderly throughout the year.

The Awareness Programme, which provides a forum for men and women over the age of 40 to hear from specialists on health issues, and the British Institute of Human Rights are working together to improve understanding of older people’s viewpoint.

Those attending will include the actors Virginia McKenna, Colin Redgrave and Kika Markham. Baroness Neuberger will read from her book Not Dead Yet: A Manifesto for Old Age, and Amanda Waring, daughter of the actress Dorothy Tutin, will present her film What Do you See?, made in memory of her mother, and her new short feature Home, which stars McKenna.

For tickets, contact Amanda Norton, 8 Ferncroft Avenue, London NW3 7PH, Amanda@8fca.co.uk

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