Your question is answered by firstly being a good patient. This doesn't mean one who is totally subservient and whose condition always behaves according to the approved manner of a text book case (although the latter does help). The popular patient who gets most out of the service does so by always being polite, considerate and patient, not only to members of the staff but also to other patients. In hospitals and in medicine generally it is impossible to arrange fixed times as other patients' unexpected needs and emergencies may upset the best organised routine.

Be polite and respectful when given an opinion as it is based on learning and experience but always ask why they have reached the conclusion. Question in a non-challenging or aggressive way what the reasons are that have led the doctor or midwife to reach their opinion and why they consider these factors important. For instance when they tell you that there is a greater risk to the mother and child of having a Caesarean section it is essential to know if the figures they quote are based on elective planned Caesarean or include those that have been done as an emergency when it is likely that the child is already in a poor way, or after a long labour when both mother and child will not be at their best.

Always insist on safety first and remember that the day your child is born is essentially the most important day in that child's life. Conversely you have already had many great moments in your life and will have many more. A smooth delivery, and a baby who cries healthily at once is more likely to do well, but the statistics as to what happens to those who have traumatic entries into this world are very thin.

I would recommend that you read Oxorn-Foote Human Labour and Birth, fifth edition published by Prentice Hall International. This gives the American cautious approach to obstetrics. I also always consult the Fundamentals of Obstetrics and Gynaecology by Derek Llewellyn Jones (an Australian). My sixth edition of this book was published in 1998, and so may be difficult to obtain. Both these books although clearly written are written for doctors, and some people may find them too hard going and could even consider them frightening. You know your own temperament in deciding what to read, but it is always a good idea to read several of the popular books written on pregnancy while avoiding those that don't teach the orthodox. The birth of your baby is no time to dice with its future in order to prove your earth mother credentials or back-to-nature sensitive inner self. Dr Joe Kabyemela and Dr Leanne Bricker, with an introduction by Dr James Lefanu, have produced an excellent paperback, Complete Pregnancy and Childbirth Answers, published by Robinson of London.

What can I do to prepare for a C-section, physcially and emotionally? Name and address withheld

As for any other operation. Remember that a good unit a Caesarean section is an absolutely safe routine operation. Indicative of how safe the procedure is in practice is the fact that it is the accepted method of choice of delivery when "a precious baby" is expected. "A precious baby" - a silly term as all babies are precious - is applied to a child expected by a mother who for some reason or another, perhaps only a greater age than average, is unlikely to be able to have another baby, or when the woman has had a previously poor obstetric history or a history of inexplicable death of earlier babies late in pregnancy or during delivery.

You will find that the staff will all be very kind and attentive, but don't hesitate to ask questions. Remember that what matters to the baby, and to you, is that you are both fit and well after the delivery. All the evidence shows that having a Caesarean section doesn't make any difference to your ability to bond with your child. A recent research paper suggested that breast-fed babies bond more with their mother than bottle-fed ones, but the teaching in my day was although breast feeding was to be preferred, especially as it provided the colostrium that strengthens the baby's immune system and is secreted by the breasts in the first few days, bottle feeding was most acceptable.

Experience shows that it is the amount of cuddling and attention given to the baby while feeding that counts. Don't listen to any talk that your baby is being deprived by having a Caesarean. Many years ago one research project showed that the academic prowess of a child was greatest (other factors being equal) if they were delivered by Caesarean section at the 37th week. This was before they would have been likely to suffer any oxygen lack from placental insufficiency for as they grew larger in the womb they may sometimes, as if it were, outgrow the oxygen supply.

Discuss with your own doctor the amount of exercise you should take, and your ideal weight gain during each month of pregnancy.

How many C-sections is it safe to have? Name and address withheld

The old teaching was three. This figure was arrived at when there was always a greater risk of a woman's scar giving way during a subsequent pregnancy. Fortunately improved surgical techniques and a better control of infection now make this unlikely. The other risk is to the baby and this inevitably increases as the chance of the placenta being implanted over a scarred area increases. Finally the woman will be growing older and the placentas of the babies of older women often seem to be rather tattier than those of younger ones.

Since I was taught that three was the limit I have had patients who have safely had four or even five Caesarean, but even so I never recommended more than three if my advice was asked.

I would like to know whether a Caesarean section significantly decreases muscle strength around the abdomen and whether, should you have two or three of them, you have any hope of ever being slim again? Name and address withheld

Every pregnancy stretches the abdominal musculature and the connective tissue around it. The older the mother the less stretchy the connective tissue and the less likely the abdomen is to return to its previous state. The taller the woman the less her abdominal wall is stretched and the easier it will be for her to regain her own figure. Smoking, or even a history of smoking, tends to make it more difficult to retain tight tummy and a non-saggy bottom as it destroys connective tissue.

The old incision for a Caesarean section was one that was cut vertically into the abdominal wall. This increased the post delivery abdominal wall laxity and the scar was often very obvious. This incision had the advantage that it enabled a baby to be delivered fractionally quicker. The more recent, but now firmly established preferred incision, runs under the pubic hair line above the pubic bone and across the lower abdomen. It leaves a much neater scar that, when it goes white, it barely shows. It has no effect on the strength of the abdominal wall muscles but sometimes it seems to push the lower abdominal fat that had collected in the lower abdomen upwards as a pouch. If this is gross it can always be removed by liposuction, but this is not usually necessary.