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Q1: About 12 years ago when I was 50 I set up home with a man I had known for some ten years. True I knew he was a bit of a control freak but basically we got on well and, well,

everyone has there faults. After a few years together he became manipulative and started treating me cruelly physically, sexually and mentally. He was at this time highly respected in the community.

I thought I was going mad with all the trouble he caused me especially the rifts between me and my friends, neighbours and family by telling them lies about how bad I was and how good he was.

So now he has stopped doing these cruel things but I can't forget what has happened, especially the loss of my family. It's no good me trying to talk to them because they believe everything he said to them about me and still think he is a saint.

Every day I keep reliving in my mind what has happened and I wake up thinking about it and go to bed with it racing around in my head. I have spoken to my GP who tried to get me psychiatric help but this has been turned down twice so now I spend time crying a lot and trying not to think about the past but never succeeding. Name and address withheld.

A1: Obviously without having you as my patient and knowing your own and your family history I can't and shouldn't reply in detail to your problems.

It is also always important to meet the other person concerned in any relationship troubles. Agony aunts for a variety of very good reasons usually accept correspondents' account of a situation as being the full story. In the real world, in which doctors have to work, it is usually found that although the majority of the difficulties have arisen because of the action of one or other partner the other's contribution, although less important and possibly not the root cause of the trouble, is more substantial than they supposed. Uncovering the relevant facts that led to the tensions and disharmony that is either causing or the symptoms of an unhappy relationship is made even more difficult because frequently both sides are doing their best and are telling the truth as they understand it, but are misunderstood by their partners.

You are wise to see your GP. The first port of call for everyone with physical or psychological problems should be their local practice. If you are still depressed and preoccupied by the past it would be as well to see your own doctor again to discuss appropriate psychiatric treatment for your symptoms. It might well be that counselling from an organisation such as Relate would help. You need to discuss with your doctor the likely effect any suggestion of counselling would have on your partner.

Q2: I have suffered from stress and depression for over twenty years, culminating in November in my taking an overdose and ending up in hospital. There, a doctor gave me the telephone number of the local crisis team. The following week, I spoke to someone at the local mental health authority, and was told that I’d receive a letter telling me what treatment they proposed.

When nearly two weeks since the overdose I had heard nothing further, I telephoned the local mental health authority. During this period, I had received no counselling or change in medication. They promised each time I phoned that someone would call me back the same day. It was twenty-four hours later before anyone contacted me. In desperation, I phoned the crisis team twice only to be told to phone the authority. The so-called crisis team turned out to be merely a couple of people answering the phone with no doctors or nurses there; outside normal working hours, there is NO cover by the local mental health authority.