I am worried about a friend of mine who has become increasingly withdrawn since his wife left him at the beginning of the summer. He hasn’t seen a doctor but seems able to confide in me, and has admitted that he feels down and can’t see much point in carrying on. I have arranged for him to stay with me for a week so I can keep an eye on him. But how do I persuade him to see his GP?

If you suspect that your friend is depressed — and from what you have told me it appears likely — then there is no substitute for seeking medical help. This is particularly important given your friend’s admission that he considers life pointless. Suicide is a very real risk in depression and more common among men (about 30 kill themselves every week in the UK).

Unfortunately most never seek medical help and the first that their GP hears of their problem is when they have committed suicide, or attempted it. But even if they consult a doctor, the next couple of months can be difficult — counselling, support and medication all take time to work and people with depression can be particularly vulnerable at this stage.

It is here that friends and relatives play such a vital role. Inviting your friend to stay is a good move but not an option open to everyone in your situation. Here are some general pointers.

If someone with depression approaches you to discuss how they feel, the most important thing is to listen. Let them do the talking. Don’t feel that you have to provide a solution to their problems. In most cases there won’t be a “quick fix” anyway.

Once you have gained their trust, ask them openly if they have had any thoughts of self-harm.

Tell them how important they are to you, and to everyone else close to them.

Try to encourage them to discuss their feelings with their GP. Offer to go with them if that is likely to help. If they won’t talk to their doctor, maybe they will try something anonymous such as the Samaritans (08457 909090 or e-mail jo@samaritans.org). If they won’t agree to either and you know who their GP is, you can always contact the surgery and make the GP aware of your concerns.

Encourage the depressed person to discuss their feelings with other friends and family. The more support and understanding they have, the better.

Give them your mobile phone number and tell them to ring, day or night, if they are struggling.

Watch them closely but be subtle about it. Try to keep them busy, away from drugs and alcohol and with friends and family.