For a time I was doctor to a Chinese bank. My patients listened with great patience and understanding when I spoke to them about Western medicine. They took my advice (I believe) and swallowed my prescriptions (so far as I was aware). Unfortunately, they also wanted my opinion on their traditional Chinese remedies and showed me and asked my advice about all manner of medications, whether of animal, vegetable or mineral origins.

I did my best to explain that neither had I been taught about the relative advantages of ground rhinoceros horn and snakeskin, nor had I tried them, but that I knew that many of their colleagues had used them and swore by the results. As with rhinoceros horn, so with vibrators.

Many of my patients, both male and female, have advocated one type of vibrator, or other sex toy, over another, but when they questioned me in detail I couldn’t advise them. Nor when I received expensive catalogues, such as those from the saucy sex specialist Myla (www.myla.com), can I do any more than comment only on their cost; vibrators are now beginning to resemble sculptures by Henry Moore, but are fortunately fractionally cheaper.

When patients talk to me about vibrators I usually recommend a visit to Ann Summers (www.annsummers.com), which is woman- friendly, has goods on display that can be handled and has women assistants.

About two years ago Vielle produced a washable, but basically disposable, finger piece which had been designed to slip on either a male or female finger (available from Boots and big branches of Tesco). It was produced by doctors and underwent well-designed clinical trials. These indicated that the women who used these devices achieved orgasm more quickly, had better orgasms and that Vielle generally enhanced their sexual enjoyment.

Vielle also reduced the amount of soreness that women experienced after masturbation.

Vibrators now come in different sizes, shapes and textures. They work at different speeds and are quieter; they no longer sound like a miniature vacuum cleaner, more like a bee buzzing. The earlier ones were hard, and many were so large that if a male partner caught sight of them they felt intimidated. The softer-textured ones, I am told, are more realistic, and feel much more like a real penis, even to the point that they can be a bit too bendy. Nor do they feel so chilly.

It is important to evaluate any vibrator or sex toy for the ease with which it can be cleaned. Even lovers don’t share toothbrushes, but I gather that some women expect to share dildos so that ease of hygiene maintenance is an obvious factor. Dildos can’t be boiled.

Men, if they use a vibrator, need to be careful. There are few doctors who haven’t been called on to extract foreign bodies from the male rectum, as a precaution the vibrators made for men, also known as butt plugs, are so designed that the object won’t disappear onwards and upwards.

I am sorry that you are depressed. Patients who are severely depressed, whether they have an eating disorder or not, tend to lose interest in sex. If the depression is at all deep, loss of libido is one of its first signs.

Unfortunately, treatment of severe depression with the modern antidepressants, the SSRIs, may, by relieving the depression, restore a person’s sexual drive and initiative, or may remove what was left of it. A minority (about one in five) of patients taking these antidepressants find that loss of libido is a recognised side-effect. Some people if mildly depressed become sexier as the excitement of the liaison provides a boost.

Forget rabbits. What you need is a bear hug. A vibrator might provide you with some unthreatening, entry-level, sex, but it won’t talk to you, or hold you, or tell you that it loves you. And it sounds to me as if you could do with a little TLC.

You’ve had a tough time for the past ten years and you’ve clearly gone through most of it alone, which can’t have been easy. However, if it is any consolation, in the long run that will probably turn out to have been a blessing in disguise.