As parents of a child who has had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) diagnosed, the hardest things we have to deal with are other people’s attitudes to us and, more hurtfully, to our son. Even after all these years, every negative reaction and stage-whispered comment twists a knife in my heart. When I see Louis’s face after some of the comments children or adults make I feel like crying.

There have been innumerable incidents in my son’s ten years that would have destroyed the confidence of a “normal” child, but Louis always bounces back, just like Tigger. Once I was standing in the school playground listening to an intelligent but sadly ignorant teacher tell me — with all the other mums listening — that Louis’s behaviour was disgusting. I asked her to give me some positive feedback. She was stumped. She could not see how her comments would affect my child’s confidence. Fortunately, since then Louis has had fantastic teachers who have nurtured and praised him. His self-esteem has not been too badly dented.

From the moment Louis could crawl, our priorities became different from those of many parents. Our objective was to keep him safe, while saving as much of our furniture as possible. He ripped radiators off walls; his cot was shaken so hard that the screws had to be replaced time and again. We couldn’t leave him alone for a second. He was like a tornado, destroying everything in its path. All we could do was ride out the storm.

Louis received a diagnosis of ADHD when he was 5; our GP worked on the child development team at our local hospital and he referred me to a paediatrician. When he told me that Louis definitely had the condition, it was a huge relief that someone believed us that something was wrong and that Louis wasn’t just being naughty.

Ten years on, some things have got easier, others harder. Louis went on the drug Ritalin when he was 6, and has been taking it ever since. It has definitely helped; he can now concentrate and sit still for longer than two seconds, he doesn’t rush into roads and he’s not so impulsive. But he seems unable to learn from his mistakes. He hasn’t learnt the trick of talking to relative strangers, and blurts out inappropriate things, or bores the pants off those he manages to trap when talking about his latest fad.

Over the years we have tried various behavioural strategies. One that we use works on consequences; when he behaves in a certain way, he knows that he will lose treats. It doesn’t always work but seems to make our lives easier and calmer. People often say we are too strict with Louis, but with an ADHD child you cannot follow normal rules of discipline: you need strict boundaries.

People judge him as they would a normal child and, for the most part, he is. But children with this condition are sensitive. Other children easily wind up Louis, but the only thing that teachers tend to see is Louis exploding and causing a disturbance.

Months of great behaviour are overshadowed by one event, and as parents it’s hard to see him judged on that. Punishments are often out of context with the incident. For children with this disorder it is hard to learn from these incidents and repeat patterns often emerge, making them targets for bullying.

School is tough. The hardest thing for Louis is to concentrate long enough to finish a piece of work. He has difficulties with handwriting and is on a waiting list for occupational therapy. Fortunately, his school rises to the challenge of dealing with this little whirlwind every day. He copes best with teachers who have a sense of humour and can show compassion. I hope that his final year at primary school will be both happy and academically successful, but I worry that he will struggle with the enormity of the extra work needed to get through the year.

We are fearful about secondary school: Louis will feel overwhelmed by its size and anonymity; teachers won’t know him, or his ways. He will be told off and given detentions for not handing in homework on time. He will make and lose a dozen friends a week, will struggle to cope with learning his way around the school and will find it hard to remember which books to take to classes. There are strategies that we can use to try to help him, such as lists and timetables for remembering what to take to school each day, but for six hours a day he will be on his own.

Having now researched ADHD for many years, I have discovered a strong possibility that I also have it. It is a well-documented fact that the disorder can be hereditary. Looking back at my school reports and talking to my mother about how I was as a child, I find that I, too, was hyperactive, impulsive and had poor concentration. As an adult the manifestations are slightly different. I have poor short-term memory; a short attention span; I find it hard not to interrupt when others are talking, as I might forget what I want to say; and I have poor control with money. It helps Louis to know that he has an ally who has an idea of what he is going through, and we often talk about our experiences of how frustrating life can be.

Life with Louis is never boring. Everything is approached at full tilt, without concern for consequences. We have to watch him carefully, while still giving him the freedom he needs to become a fully functioning adult. We would hate it any other way. Our fear would be to have a too-quiet child who didn’t dare to experiment, who played it safe, and who sat there doing and saying everything “just so”. We have a child who gives us more love and affection than any other child we know.

He laughs like a hyena at slapstick comedy (ADHD children tend to be very visual) and his idea of fun is watching a Pink Panther film with us. We survive on laughter. A good sense of humour is essential after a tough day, and we have learnt over the years to pick ourselves up and to prepare for the next challenge that may be thrown our way.

Louis is who he is because of his condition. It has shaped his personality and he is, quite simply, an outstanding human being.

Pay attention

Contact the National Attention Deficit Disorder Information and Support Service, www.addiss.co.uk; 020-8906 9068

SIMON CROMPTON