But whether you are time-rich and cash-poor or cash-rich and time-poor, there are ways of minimising the pain with good management.

To find out whether you are managing Christmas, or it is managing you, tick your two most likely answers to each question.

1. We all know it’s the thought that counts and blessed are the giftmakers. But which of the following presents would you most like to receive for Christmas?
a) Year’s subscription to the Little Darlings Nanny Agency?
b) BlackBerry Pearl business phone?
c) Compost starter mix?
d) Comfort Home Automation Security System?
e) Motorised Golf Ball Cleaner? f) Handmade ethnic-effect Raggedy Ann or Andy doll?

2. Before you sit down to the feast, your dog samples the lunch lovingly laid out for eight. Do you:
a) Phone the Emergency Catering Company?
b) Extol the virtues of a seasonal fast?
c) Amend the menu to turkey fricassee?
d) Bribe a table out of the local hostelry?
e) Beg a neighbour/relative to share their food?
f) Cook the dog?

3. Your partner is likely to be severely depressed by England’s defeat in the Test match which is set to end on Boxing Day. Do you:
a) Confiscate the Sky TV card?
b) Brew a large pot of St John’s wort tea?
c) Begin an open-ended counselling session?
d) Insist that he or she signs a power of attorney in your favour?
e) Call in a local Chinese acupuncturist?
f) Explain that it’s only a bloody game?

4. You feel increasingly worried about climate change and wish to reduce your Christmas carbon footprint. Do you:
a) Paint a picture of a Yule log to stick in the fireplace?
b) Offer to pay your neighbour’s gas bill as a carbon trade?
c) Buy knitting needles made from recycled wood?
d) Promise to drive your 4x4 only at the speed limit?
e) Take up yoga breathing to cut your carbon dioxide emissions?
f) Stick a windmill on the roof to power your fairy lights?

5. Your daughter is horrified when a teacher says Santa isn’t real and that Christmas must be called “Winterval”. Do you:
a) E-mail the school your congratulations?
b) E-mail Santa not to bring the teacher any presents?
c) Bribe your child to go into therapy?
d) Teach her the full version of how Santa met Rudolph?
e) Make yourself a red costume and measure the chimney?
f) Select a good Catholic boarding school?

6. Researchers say that preparing for the average family Christmas takes 13 days. Having done more than your fair share of this work, what’s your policy on clearing up afterwards? Do you:
a) Feign illness?
b) Smile at the happy faces you have produced and muck in?
c) Visit Japan on business?
d) Check out a prominent divorce lawyer?
e) Carefully handwrite a suggested list of chores for all?
f) Run away with the first cheery soul who drives a sleigh?

So what was your score?

SCORING
1.a-1; b-2; c-4; d-2; e-3; f-5
2.a-2; b-2; c-4; d-5; e-2; f-1
3.a-2; b-3; c-5; d-1; e-3; f-2
4.a-5; b-1; c-3; d-1; e-5; f-3
5.a-1; b-4; c-2; d-5; e-5; f-1
6.a-2; b-5; c-1; d-2; e-4; f-1

ANALYSIS
15-24 Stressed? Being in control is hard work.
25-34 Balanced. You seem a smart Christmas operator.
35-54 Stressed? Rarely delegating is very hard work.

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

The quiz assumes that stress is generated when we over-manage such an event, whether in person or by proxy. Read on to find out how to manage Christmas depending on whether you have more time and less money, or more money and less time. If you scored . . .

15-24
It is probable that you are “cash-rich/time-poor”. The trap for you to avoid is trying to impersonate the perfect Santa while most of your mind is tied up elsewhere. You need to define the limits of your willingness to be the Christmas manager.

It is just like the office; you need to establish a budget and then negotiate all the tasks: “I am going to order the turkey but not the booze; I am going to serve the lunch but will be asleep for one hour afterwards; and unless you-you-and-you agree to clear the table and load the dishwasher, then supper will remain notional.”

You should act from self-awareness: “If I don’t enjoy the experience of Christmas at all, it’s likely that my unconscious mind will start trouble.”

35-54
On the other hand, if you score highly on the quiz (suggesting that you are “time-rich/cash-poor”) you still don’t want to turn yourself into an unpaid butler worn to a frazzle by tyrants. To hell with “perfection”; let’s go for “adequate”. For example, announce that lunches at Christmas will be like Virgin trains, with approximate times of arrival, or “windows of appearance”, from 1pm to 3pm. If it helps, play your own music while you work. Take naps when you need them. Plan to go for a walk every day at your own pace. Do deals about television hours, playing games, carol services and religious observance. For each negative and inevitable hardship, ensure that there will be at least one positive counter-experience for you.

As for the rest of the family, it helps to ignore bad behaviour and reward good. If your relatives are usually difficult, why expect them to be different just because it is Christmas? Stop trying to keep everyone happy; it is impossible.

EVERYONE ELSE
For those readers who are both time and cash-rich, I can only suggest a couple of good charities. But, if you suffer, like Bob Cratchit, from too much work for too little pay, then remember that in future years your children will register whether they were loved and if the family was happy rather than which present they got. At Christmas, the thought lasts far longer than any toy or sliver of tinsel.

Phillip Hodson is a Fellow of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (www.philliphodson.co.uk)