Dr Thomas Stuttaford

Even though yours is not an unusual worry — many men are concerned about the appearance of their testes and how they hang — testicles are in fact robust. They stand up to a carefully aimed football boot or squashing during intercourse. As small boys, the scrotum and testes, are small but, unless they are very cold, the testes hang low.

In adolescence the testes grow larger until they reach their adult size. On average this is two inches, by an inch and a half, by three quarters of an inch (5cm x 4cm x 2cm) — the size of a greengage. There is considerable variation in testicular size within the normal range. At the genito-urinary medical clinic where I worked we had a splendid necklace of carved hardwood testes that could be used for comparison with those of the patients and an accurate estimate of their normality could be made. The consistency of the testes is as important as its size. If the testes becomes unusually squidgy this may indicate that its function is failing.

The scrotum has two functions. It is a bag, divided internally down the middle so that there is a separate pocket for each testis and the left testis usually hangs lower. The scrotum supports the testes outside the body, this enables the testes to be at a lower temperature than they would be if they were contained within the abdomen. If they were intra-abdominal their temperature would be higher and fertility lost.

The other role of the scrotum is to house the dartos muscle. The dartos muscle is a thin layer of muscle that is closely united to the scrotal skin and as such surrounds the entire scrotal sac before being continued into the groin and the perineum between the penis and the anus. The dartos muscle contracts in cold weather and during sexual excitement. The relaxation and contraction of the dartos muscle therefore controls the distance the testes hang from the body and their temperature. The dartos muscle in this way has an important role in maintaining fertility.

It is thought that contraction of the dartos muscle when sexually excited, so that the testes are drawn upwards, helps to prevent the problem that is troubling you. By having them tucked up out of the way they are less likely to be knocked during intercourse, and it saves them from being squashed between your partner and your pubic bone when she is on top.

With age the dartos muscle, like all the body’s other muscles, becomes less strong. As a result the scrotum then becomes elongated and flaccid. Once again the man is usually unnecessarily worried, it is a sign of age or too warm a bedroom.

The only significant difficulty a man has with low-hanging testes is when they have sex in one of the woman-on-top positions. What to do about it? During ordinary rough-and-tumble sex a modified rugby football player’s jock strap will keep testes out of the way if you are seriously concerned. When in the male inferior positions the testes should be tucked between your thighs and protected in this way.

It may be that your only trouble is that you have larger testes than average so that the dartos muscle is not strong enough to keep them neatly tucked away during intercourse. A word of reassurance about this. One of the surprises of life in the clinic was the discovery that many women find testes attractive, while most men think that women only notice penises.

Suzi Godson

Though you think that your wrinkly, hairy, oldish scrotal sac is a waste of space, it is actually a smart piece of anatomy because it is designed specifically to maintain your testicles at an optimum temperature for sperm production. If, for example, during a house fire, the temperature of your scrotal sac rose to dangerous levels, a muscle called the cremaster would relax, allowing your testicles to hang loosely, providing them with greater access to cooler air.

If, for example, during a trip to the Arctic, the temperature got dangerously cold, the cremaster muscle would contract and pull your testicles closer to your body to maintain body heat. And if said house fire became really serious, or the Arctic climate froze your eyelids off, your scrotal sac would come in really handy because plastic surgeons can use it for skin grafts and to re-create eyelids and foreskins.

The scrotal sac has all sorts of sexual potential, too. Most men presume that women are interested only in their penis, but there are plenty of chicks who find the exquisite form and intriguing texture of those firm little eggs and their soft, slightly hairy home fascinating. And the rhythmic tap of free-range oeufs is a terrifically pleasant sensation during lovemaking, too. The scrote is also a popular accessory during oral sex. The little-known art of “teabagging” (so called because the practice vaguely resembles dipping a teabag in a cup of water) is a technique you might want to investigate online in your leisure time.

I understand that during the hot weather excess baggage in that vicinity might be a little sticky. However, as long as you maintain a reasonable relationship with soap and water, you should be able to sustain an acceptable degree of freshness. A flexi-hose shower head will help you to access the wrinkly bits, but make sure that you dry yourself properly as hot damp skin is the perfect breeding gound for skin infections.

For comfort, cotton boxer briefs are your best bet, but if you want to constrain your bits more tightly, the microfibre Puma Bodywear Action Minimal boxer (£19) or the Hanro Emotion pant (£25) will do the trick (www.figleaves.com/Mens). At Figleaves you can also buy a Calvin Klein Pro Mesh jock strap ( £20) or the even better-looking Hom Sports jock strap, for just £11.

Lastly, have you considered that your insecurity about your scrotum might mask a deeper concern about getting older. Nothing gives away a man’s age more than a set of gravityravaged low-hangers and, according to the trusty internet, scrotum tucks have replaced penile extensions, butt contouring and pectoral implants as the must-have surgery for the status-conscious Hollywood male. However, you should think before you shrink. Tightening the scrote is a relatively minor (relative to open heart surgery) operation, but two hours under a local anasthetic comes with a relatively big price tag (relative to a nice pair of supportive pants) and, as always, cosmetic correction can cause decreased blood flow, scarring, and the possibility of looking like the before-and-after image at www.psurg.com/scrotum.html. With respect sir, everyone of your age has wobbly bits and not everyone is lucky enough to be able to hide them in their pants. Console yourself with the fact that sooner or later every other part of your anatomy, and everyone else’s, will head south to keep your scrotum company.

E-mail your sexual dilemmas to body&soul@thetimes.co.uk or write to Body&Soul, The Times, 1 Pennington Street, London E98 1TT