I have isolated two scenarios which make me feel especially awful, even when I’m just imagining them: not being able to brake when I need to and not being able to get out of the way of, say, a fire engine. I don’t know why these situations scare me more than they scare other people and why I have this irrational fear. It is just really making me miserable because I feel scared of something so normal and it makes me feel quite useless. I am one of the very few among my friends who cannot drive. Not being able to drive will make life much more difficult later on so I really don’t want to give up trying, it is just that my phobia — if that's what this is — is really halting my progress.
Ahminder, 20

I can understand that this driving phobia feels very debilitating and is leaving you feeling helpless and hopeless.What you describe is definitely a phobia — an unrealistically catastrophic conditioned response to an object or stimulus. To conquer this growing phobia, you need to understand that this is an anxiety-related condition which needs to be treated in the same way as any other. Otherwise, my fear is that you will soon be unable to get into a car. The treatment of any phobia involves both cognitive and behavioural therapy.

The behavioural elements of the treatment are built around an approach called systematic desensitisation. This means that you gradually, and at your own pace, expose yourself to the phobic object while at the same time utilising a number of anxiety management techniques to gradually learn to master and conquer your fears.

I suggest that you buy a relaxation tape which you can find in any good book shop. The tape should teach you an approach called progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). The rationale around PMR is that you learn to master the physiological signs and symptoms of anxiety that — if left unmanaged — lead to severe palpitations, sweating and all the other responses that leave you feeling helpless and out of control in the car.

Initially, practise PMR at least twice a day for 20 minutes and master the techniques of clenching and relaxing your muscles and controlling your breathing and increasing physiological symptoms. Then start to imagine yourself driving the car and at the same time pair this with your PMR techniques.

Take this slowly so that you finish the imaginary journey ery still feeling relaxed and in control. Then take the images in your mind to scenarios such as emergency braking and letting a fire engine pass safely. Once you have mastered the images in a relaxed state, move the PMR practise to your car and do short drives using your relaxation techniques, building slowly over time.

If you feel you need professional support, you can self refer to your local clinical psychological department for a brief number of sessions with a cognitive behavioural therapist. This will enable you to achieve your desired goal.

Good luck and I hope you are driving soon!

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