WHAT ARE THEY?

These are clinics, run by GPs and private companies, that offer health once-overs for men, checking their hearts, weight and all the bits that women don’t have.

WHO SAYS THEY’RE A GOOD IDEA?

Men’s health enthusiasts with too much time on their hands and private screening companies trying to drum up business.

HOW WRONG IS IT?

Totally, and will remain so until the average unhealthy male has a lobotomy.

GIVE ME THE FACTS

The main problem is that Well Man Clinics attract only well men. So, those motivated enough to attend are precisely those who don’t need to; lardy, fag-toting, burger-chomping slobs remain welded to their sofas. Besides, a well-person “screen” will rarely tell the typical bloke anything useful. All of which probably explains why the evidence that these clinics do any good is thinner than the average fitness freak.

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

Forget regular health MoTs. The only relevant routine checks for blokes middle-aged and above are cholesterol and blood pressure tests; your pharmacist or GP will oblige. But only bother if you’d be inclined to act on the result, otherwise you’ll just fret and drive everyone barmy.

LAST WORD

“I’ll go to the clinic when I’m well ill.”