What's a Wall's Magnum?! :)

Sue, San Antonio, TX

what a shame.. only missionary. It should be downright animal and dirty sometimes and not so well behaved. He needs to have some really good sex - the sort that makes you feel wild and truly alive.

vanessa leonowicz, lletchworth garden city, herts

Refreshing and thanks shedding more light on what words alone cannot convey. What I find somewhat amusing contrast is that though many of us like to keep up with the joneses... the average person is a low achiever in sex yet buys into the mass market 'bonking'. Yes the French may have a thing or two the teach the English speakers... I think the Cook, Solomon and other Polynesian islanders do it best. In our western world... we are wimps on sensibilities when it comes to natural expression

Kojinator, Provo, USA/UT

Do a trip to France you mother... Goutez les Parisiennes!
I spent a lot of time working in a singles bar in the Montparnasse area and most of the clientelle there were the lonely forty overs (not cricket) but burning and desirable. They were not all "culs de chevaux" but boy did they teach you a thing or two.
Thing is that the French had no Queens with orthodox Jewish governesses like the old Victoria did.
This was the early eighties and safe sex was straight sex and no French Letters... the women even bent over to please. Ice cudes were in the mouth and not wasted on nipples. Erotic zones were discussed before play began. Men were willing to allow their women experiment with others and being single was a nice way to make hay while the moon was full. The bar was the Boucanier run by an Irish American called Jack and Chuck Berry walked in there once every year!!!
Experience was the key and by the time they closed the joint down -- for nocturnal whooping.. I had been on antibiotics.

Peter Casie Chetty, Liverpool, England

Someone definitely did not make the most of his time at university...

Luke, Cambridge, England

At the risk of being accused of being a punster,I will say that you get out of sex what you put into it.I didn't know sex had a bad category,I thought it ranged between great and wonderful.

ron, toronto,

Why are you so adamant against the "modern standards" of sex when you yourself just defined them? Most people don't think that the stuff they show on MTV is attainable outside of fantasy. The modern standard is the same as always, but if you allow your life to be defined by the media and the idiotic boasting of people around you, sure you're going to feel inadequate.

I wouldn't call your life a bad sex life. A bad sex life is one that frustrates you to the point you can't live your life the way you want, in my opinion.

John, Philadelphia,

Oh dear.
What kind of Women are having relationships? Obviously your problems are your problems, and underlying them must be your inability to find exciting partners.

Having been a 19 year old virgin must have made you very insecure.

You do cut a very sad and inadequate figure. But it is not too late... Take a long hard look at yourself, go to therapy, have a make over, think about cosmetic surgery. improve your personal hygiene, get a hobby. There are many things that make us attractive to others.

There is wonderful world of sexually exciting partners and experiences out there and with some personal improvements you could find them.

Bill Adams, New Delhi , India

Well Bubba, sorry to have say it but you sound like you have aged prematurely! In your 70's perhaps? I hate to say it but the only regrets I have, was not taking advantage of A/. a threesome (2 girls & me. B/. Not taking advantage of the opportunity to "Change My Luck", any Southerner in the U.S. of A will know what I mean!

Pete.Goswell, Westminster, U.S./Colorado

Only half an hour,,, mmm??
Jay, london

jay, london, london

Poor fellow. His story is so sad.
I have heard that hormone shots can help.
Maybe less ice cream.

Hrolfr Docairtaig, New Orleans, USA

Thank you Mr Boorman, what a relief to know that there is a book on the way casting a critical and polemic eye over the manufacture of sex and desire. Thank you also for showing what thoroughly controlled fantasies, disguising as natural, spontaneous and immediate, are doing not only to women (for so long and ,now, completely unopposed) but also to men.

Harriet Hall, London, U.K.

There is always an extreme bunch of people(in all lifes persuits) that get the worst of or the best of anything. If you are not a sexually extreme being, chances are that you will not have learnt how to recognise and rope in other extremely sexual people. We are always looking for sex. And when we see someone else doing the same, we arrange to get to it as soon as possible. Immediately or some point later the same day. Having great sex is a constant pursuit.

L. Becton, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Been with my husband only since our wedding night, me only him, he'd had some experience prior to marriage. First couple of times were difficult for me, but since then we've gotten to know each other, and sex is the best thing ever. When he wants, when Iwant to. Cut out the one nihgt stands, just stick to one guy, and sex will be all you want it to be. Like= a bit to the left, and then give me a amssage while you do THAT THINGS. Lol. Sex is not about how many partners you've had, but about how manby times you're satisfied......

Aamna, london uk, uk today

C.J. Clairmore from Toronto: I wholeheartedly agree. Both sanety and honesty on this subject is welcomed.

Louise, London, UK

THANK YOU. For being sane enough to write on this subject.

C.J. Clairmore, Toronto,

Sex is extremely overated. People love the idea of sex and get mixed up with love. Sex has nothing to do with love. On the contrary, violence, hate, anger, revenge, frustration, domination, is more related to sex than love. Men have sex because they hate the person than love them. In war, crime, extreme violence, it always involve sex. Very few criminals carry out a crime to a woman without commiting rape. So do not get all confused with love and lust. Sex should come after love, respect, honor, marriage, commitment, care, and not the other way round. How can you love someone on a one night stand?? Quite often, they dont even know each other so it is impossible to love someone you do not know, but can always have sex with them. Do prostitutes love all their customers? Women on the other hand have this romantic idea about sex. They see too many movies, read too many novels and they get carried away. They think sex will bring love but men think love will bring sex.

Virginia, Brisbane, Australia

6. Striptease can someteimes just be someone taking off her clothes with tedious slowness.

Tim, Auckland, New Zealand

Ah, young man, you're growing up now. Hyperbole is the oxygen of publicity! If you don't believe the political spinners, why bother with the social grandstanders? We've all tried sex twice in a night, but not 24/7. Read some different magazines and settle down to reality.

Nev, Rudkøbing, Denmark

In chily England, I agree, ice on the nipple is turn-off. On a sweltering summer afternoon in Dallas (yeah, that's in Texas, USA) it made for fantastic sex.

L, Milton Keynes, UK

The author is so right!! That kind of perfect, multiorgasmic sex is definitely overrated in the media today. It makes us common mortals look so boring when having sex.

I enjoyed the article very much. Very brave to admit to those thoughts in such a touchy topic.

Isabel, Madrid, Spain

1 - me too
2 - me too
3 - me too
4 - me too
5 - me too

Gosh, I must be a boring looser, too... ;-)

Good on you Neil, for being honest with yourself and the rest of the world

Sebastian, Perth, Australia