Helena Frith Powell
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When the technician showed up this week to fix my television and install the satellite dish for my broadband internet, I was relieved for two reasons. First, I don’t want ever again to go through the trauma of my husband missing England v France in the Six Nations, as well as a Chelsea cup game on the same day. I think I aged about five years as a result — and I wasn’t even here, I was in America.
Second, the technician was English. Part of the relief at this was that, after two weeks in America, I can no longer speak French. More important, though, an unconscious equation went through my head as soon as he said hello in a Leeds accent: he is English, therefore I can trust him.
The television was no problem — a mouse (probably a French one) had chewed through a cable. The satellite broadband, however, was more complicated. We just couldn’t work out exactly where the damn satellite dish should point and, inexplicably, the technical support desk doesn’t open until 2pm. At 12 o’clock, after three cups of coffee and numerous trips up to the roof, my charming technician finally conceded defeat.
“Tell you what,” he said. “I’ve got another job not far from here. I’ll pop back later.”
Had he been a French plumber, I would have handcuffed him to the sink. It is well known that if you’re lucky enough to get one to show up, then under no circumstances should you let him leave before the job is done. I let the technician go, of course. Being English, he would come back. I could trust him.
If you live in France, you immediately trust other English people. You assume that because you have a shared culture, they will understand you, be nice to you and not let you down. This is, in part, the result of a deep-rooted mistrust of foreigners (totally natural for an island race), although we do trust the French more than we do others. As Nancy Mitford said: “Frogs are slightly better than Huns or Wops, but abroad is unutterably bloody and foreigners are fiends.” In today’s politically correct times, that sort of statement is not allowed, but the fact remains: we trust our own above all others. Are we right to do so?
Not at all, according to an English friend of mine who lives in Provence with his American wife. After five years here, he is about to sell up and relocate to California. The reason? “I’ve had enough of Brits ripping me off,” he says.
The rip-off began with his solar heating system. Instead of getting a local company to install it, he went for one based in northern England. “In retrospect, this was a bad decision,” he says. “But we had just moved over and spoke little French. I felt more comfortable dealing with English contractors; I just didn’t think I could cope with all the technical stuff in a foreign language.”
The system, which cost him more than £8,000, has never worked, and the company is now insisting it has gone bust and is refusing to answer any of his calls, letters or e-mails.
My friend also decided to put in a swimming pool. Again, he felt more secure using a local English contractor than a French one. The pool was built and all seemed to be going swimmingly — if you’ll pardon the pun — until a leak was discovered. Water started to seep out into his neighbour’s garden, creating a swamp where the lawn used to be.
My friend called the contractor. All he ever got was the answer machine.
“The man seems to have gone to ground,” says my friend. “Now we have found that not only is the pool a disaster, all the grouting around the tiles that line the pool and the pool area has dried and cracked. The whole place looks like a building site again.”
A couple I know who bought a house in the Midi-Pyrénées made the mistake of thinking that just because the sellers were English, they were trustworthy. When they went to visit the property, all they could hear was barking from the dog next door. They asked what was going on. “ ‘Wasn’t it just typical that it should happen the day we were looking around’, was their response,” says Sandra, one half of the couple. “We all had a good joke about it, and the next time we went to look, it had stopped, so we thought no more of it.”
My friends hadn’t realised that one of the reasons the house was up for sale was that its owners could not stand any more of the dog the neighbours kept in the cellar for 23 hours a day — not surprisingly, he barks for most of that time. Their second viewing must have coincided with the one hour when he was let out.
“I remembered afterwards that they were not keen to let us come at certain times, but of course suspected nothing,” Sandra says. “You just don’t believe your own kind could do that sort of thing to you. Maybe we were naive, but we totally trusted them, mainly because they were English. It didn’t occur to us that they would have the nerve to lie to us.”
Of course, we don’t automatically trust other English people if we live in London, so what changes when we move abroad? It is more than the fact that they speak English. It is an affinity thing. We are a minority here, so we automatically think we will stick together. And there is the relief of dealing with one’s own kind, of understanding more about them in five minutes than we will in five years when it comes to a Frenchman.
So, what about my charming English technician? Yes, you’ve guessed it. Four days after his first visit, I am still waiting for him to call or show up again. By the time he makes it back, the French mouse will probably have chewed through another cable. Or maybe I’ll just call a French technician. At least he’ll be able to talk to the mouse.
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The same, absolutely, applies in Spain. The question anyone considering using a British contractor must be: why are they here, and not in the UK? The answers can be revealing!
As for not speaking the language, when we first arrived here in 1998, my wife and I spoke precisely eight words of Spanish, and in the area in which we bought our first house, not a single sole spoke anything other than "Andaluz".
But with sign language, endless drawings on scraps of paper and much hilarious mime we got by, including communicating with the contractor we employed to "reform" the semi-ruin we had bought, and not only did we get by, we made a lot of friends into the bargain. And, happily, our Spanish has now improved somewhat!
T.W. (expat), Malaga, Spain
I visit my english familly in law quite often, and I finally consider UK as a ripping off country. If you want to survive check your deliveries when you order something from a shop or at the restaurant.
When you park your car in a field in the middle of nowhere, full of stone and rubbish, don't be surprised to see a 12 years old girls appearing from behind bushes and telling you: this is our field you owe us £1 for parking!!
CRUNELLE, calais, France
We purchased our first ever overseas apartment in Sete about 5 years ago and used local tradesmen to install plumbing, electrics, an 'English' kitchen taken down by truck. Quotes were obtained in writing and the kitchen installer agreed to supervise. My wife speaks good French, I do not but was able to communicate with the master carpenter by drawings and gesticulation, which we still do today. In our absence they just got on with it. They have all become good friends
They did a superb job, high quality finishing and they properly cleaned up after them, work was completed on time and to budget and when minor things like and extended electric cable was not pre-thought out a new quote was put forward by fax . The work was very reasonably priced. Having done similar projects in the UK the UK builders arrive on time, start the job and disappear to complete/start the other jobs they have contracted.
We can can therefore highly commend the tradesmen of Sete
Laurie, Hindhead, Surrey
I have lived in the Paris area since 1973 and always "supported local industry" and always had excellent relations withe the locals. Ex-pats must learn to integrate or go home!
R Platten, Paris,
Expats who arrogantly refuse to learn the language of their adopted country be it France, Spain or wherever really get up my nose. Because it goes with an attitude equally despicable that 'We Brits have a superior culture' as well. It's about time Brits and their Government got off their cerebral backsides and enjoyed Europe proper rather than play around with its benefits and then go back home with their tails between their legs when the going gets rough. Home grown technicians whether they be painters, builders, electricians are no worse and no better than their British expat counterparts but at least they are THERE and do not fade away like the cowboys, so-called qualified tradespeople from the UK who are out to make a fast buck in the sun. The trouble is learning a language takes a lot of effort and today's get rich quick under 40 generation don't want to do that. I hear people in Barcelona and northern Spain who can't even order a bloody beer in Spanish.!
Peter Ridding, Barcelona,
Well said J M, I am continually astonished by the behaviour of ex-pat Brits who on one hand are very happy to air their disgust about the inward looking Muslim communities in Britain, yet pay crazy sums to live in ex-pat ghettos in parts of Europe where they will never need to learn the language. We are so disgusted with the attitude of most Brits that we tend to avoid all contact and live/socialise with our Spanish friends. You are giving yourselves a very bad name and you will get nowhere in your adopted country.
D M, Cadiz,
Imagine the hoo-haa if Polish people living in England for example, got their technicians and plumbers over from Poland ... can hear the indignant shouts of 'Integration' already.
Annelise, Belgium,
I've lived ib France for 36 years & have never used the services of a brit plumber,electrician or bulder. I have always used the local companies & have never had any problems. Maybe all these new ex-pats should learn the lingo & INTEGRATE!!!!!
J M Lefranc, Region centre,