Steve Keenan
The man, the films, those blondes. Free DVD collection starting this Sunday

The fifth Dubai Desert Rock Festival didn't quite live up to its billing this year.
"We are here to celebrate rock music in all its hedonistic, sex-and-drugs-and-rock'n'roll glory," wrote John Clarke in The Times.
"But this is also a Muslim state. There are breaks between sets for prayers. The audience and bands are advised not to remove their T-shirts or engage in 'any public demonstrations of affection'. No 'offensive hand gestures' are permitted and crowdsurfers face immediate ejection. So not quite Iggy Pop country then."
Briton Michelle Palmer, 30, has now discovered that 'public demonstrations of affection' really are frowned on in Dubai - she faces up to six years in jail after allegedly being caught having sex on a beach.
It is the latest in a series of brushes between westerners and the emirate’s penal code, which is based both on Islamic Sharia and British civil law.
Dubai is getting more and more popular - there were 799,582 British visitors last year - and more and more are getting into trouble. According to one leading travel agent, Dubai is also turning “chavvy” as mass-market tourists overwhelm the emirate.
“Dubai is quite chavvy. Everyone has been there,” said a Trailfinders spokesman. “It is overdeveloped and colonised by Premier League footballers. But even they are beginning to move on.”
Apart from the hotels, there is only one public bar - inevitably, an Irish one - where visitors can drink. The rapidly growing number of expatriates have to apply for a licence to drink at home. Many don't, and rely on contacts with The Heineken Man, as the importers are known.
But it doesn't matter - as long as you don't get caught or openly disrespect the laws. Prostitution is rife but purveyed in hotel bars, not on the street.
Homosexuality is also illegal. Rob Harkavy, of gay travel company Respect Holidays says that he would refuse to take a booking to Dubai on principle.
And sex on a beach is definitely a no-no - as are drugs.
Drugs is the frontline between Dubai tolerance of western behaviour and feeling the full legal weight of disapproval.
The 200,000 expatriate Britons living in Dubai are well aware that drugs are one perceived Western social ill that the UAE authorities will not tolerate, even if others – such as prostitution – have taken root. Four years’ imprisonment is a common sentence for drugs possession, and trafficking carries the death penalty.
In the most high-profile case to date, Radio 1 DJ Grooverider, real name Raymond Bingham, 40, was jailed for four years in February after two grams of cannabis was found in his luggage when he tried to enter the country.
In the same month, Times Online reported the case of a Swiss man imprisoned for 'possession’ of three poppy seeds on his clothing after he ate a bread roll at Heathrow.
Among substances banned by Dubai are foods containing poppy seeds; melatonin, which is taken to ease the effects of jetlag; codeine, a common ingredient in pain relief medication, and any trace of drugs such as cannabis, however small.
The Foreign Office advises all travellers carrying any prescription drugs to take a doctor's letter detailing exactly why they need the medicine and the exact dose.
You can get a letter covering any non-prescription drugs at the same time, or buy them when you get to your final destination. You can check them against the extensive list of 374 banned items.
Note also, that all medicines should be carried in their original packaging.
Even if you are only in transit in Dubai, if your luggage is being unloaded and sent through security scanners it would be wise to adhere to the rules. The Dubai Department of Tourism and Commerce Marketing also recommends looking at this link, which has details on rules governing what can be carried in hand luggage.
For more information, see Fair Trials International, the UAE Embassy site, which now has a list of approved medication, clickable to from the middle of its home page.
The last time I checked, most countries still forbid sex in public. So why that is even being debated is beyond me. To the other issues, I believe it is up to the person traveling to another country to find out what the laws/customs are before traveling. Ignorance of the law is not an excuse.
Jolen Whitworth, Pudsey, England
Has this guy ever been to Dubai - one bar? Are you kidding? But please tell the rest of Britain that its true and save us the pain of watching you embarass yourselves over and over again. Footballers, Chavs, Wags - stay home and don't ruin Dubai for the rest of us expats who love it here.
catherine, Dubai, UAE
I dont think Dubai has to be turned to a western city. In the end of the day it has to reflects its muslim, arab and middle eastern background.
Tourists visit a coutnry to experince its culture and flavour. We -Dubai people- do not need our city to be a copy of any other city or country!
Badriah
Badriah, Dubai, UAE
my friend is a transexual preop and she works as an escort in london
she says she`s got so many clients from Dubai,in london
and they pay her very well.they`re married men and have families back in dubai,but when they`re are with her they want her to take the male role.
1 word...hypocrites ah ah
maria, london, uk
The western naivete in projecting liberal values on to an authoritarian Muslim state never ceases to amaze me. Dubai may not practice shariah law, but it does practice the same morality behind this code. I find it to be cold, soulless and sad, plus an evironmental disaster in the making. Skip it!
Virginia Slaughter, Liverpool,
wait a sec.....isn't sex in public also illegal in the UK?
D, Nagoya, Japan
I am only 10 years older than the lady in question but I would NEVER have sex in on a public beach, let alone in a muslim country. Why do some Britons show our country in the worst possible light?
Isadora, London,
we have to put up with muslim beliefs in Britain, they should put up with our beliefs there.
Bob, Manchester, UK
Re Maria in Canada
Couldn't resist that dig at Muslim countries, could you? What a pathetic thing to She was having SEX in public, it's about lack of class and it's crass!!
These laws are there for a reason - I for one ,wouldn't behave in that manner in London.
Farah, London, UK
Prostitution an "imported" western ill to the middle east?!
John, Manchester, UK
She was having sex on a beach in an Arab country, what does she expect. The fact that she lived there and wasn't just a drunken tourist makes her an even bigger fool.
Having visited Dubai several times over the last few years I have never had a single problem.
sian, London,
Well, recpect or leave .. that's it .
Mike, Ann Arbor, US
Having lived in 5 different countries over the last 11 years, including 3 years in Dubai, I can only say that one has to respect the cultur and the rules of the country in which one is living, just like I expect it from foreigners living in my country.
Pernille Klose, San Jose, Costa Rica
2ak..netI admire Dubai for still having some moral values in this permissive world we live in. Ms. Palmer not only showed her lack of morals and stupidity but she brought disgrace and embarrassment to her family.. I hope she gets the max.
ralph swap, Juneau, Alaska, U.S.A.
In the case of Ms. Palmer, I find it interesting that Britain is rather more welcoming to alien mores and customs than are most Muslim countries, among them, the UAE....
Maria, Calgary, CANADA
Sorry, the link to the 374 drugs does not work, and has not done so for sometime. I believe the Embassy in London are updating their website. Gulfnews printed an official chart of these drugs some time ago ...... they are the only reference place still current.
Mandy Pease, Horbourg-Wihr, France