During a recent Jonathan Ross interview with Ashton Kutcher, we were shown a clip of Kutcher’s wife, Demi Moore, running up a beach in a bikini. This was to remind us that Kutcher has married into Hollywood royalty, which is why it had to be a bikini clip (rather than one from, say, Ghost), because the bikini shots are the ones that prove a female celeb has got what it takes. And were we impressed as we watched from our sofas, chomping on our Chinese takeaways? Nope. We're used to it. We expect it. Callisthenically honed, liposuctioned, whatever – we know how an almost naked body is meant to look in the glare of the Caribbean sun.

So, when Princess Beatrice was photographed in St Barts wearing a bikini and some hips, the entire nation simultaneously choked on its toast. Crikey! Look at the width on those! I mean, she’s got a waist, yes. A flat stomach, sure. But is she curvy or what?

All of us – regardless of size – struggled with this one. Should Beatrice have covered up in a nice sarong, considering she’s no Jemima Khan? Should she have worn a one-piece, or would that have been worse? Should she have been on a beach at all, considering the risk of exposure? Possibly you went straight to thinking: “Poor Bea.” Poor Bea, for being revealed in all her Junoesque glory. Poor Bea, that she doesn’t have a figure like Cameron Diaz. Poor Bea, for, um . . . looking like a woman.

The same day that Bikinigate broke, on the Channel 4 series How to Look Good Naked, a former beauty queen was persuaded to strip off on a catwalk and a group of office girls got undressed for a photograph, all in the name of confidence-building. None of these women would have dreamt of wearing a bikini, though, by the end of the programme, they were just about comfortable with the idea of letting themselves be seen in their undies in private. Result! This extraordinary breakthrough (women go naked in front of loved ones) was achieved through the cunning ruse of getting them to strip off together, at which point they realised their bodies were exactly as they should be, just not Angelina Jolie’s. And the funny thing is, at the start of How to Look Good Naked, you, the viewer, think “Eeew, Photoshop her”, but after five minutes, your eyes adjust and everyone looks normal, and quite nice.

The Dove “real women” campaign was based on bridging this gulf between reality and the images we are used to seeing in the media, but it didn’t exactly provoke a rash of imitations – arguably because real women lack the aspirational factor. So, here’s an alternative with the fairy-tale element. It’s a Princess Bea range of swimwear and undies for the girl who is tired of the example set by Hollywood royalty and would rather imitate the real thing, as it’s so much closer to home. What d’you think? Got potential?

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