Rosemary Bennett
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When Mary-Anne Edwards, 41, was growing up in Kew, West London, she enjoyed “an incredible amount of freedom”, allowed to go to and from primary school alone and visit relatives before she was ten.
However, when it came to her own three sons, fears about their safety, and the “disrespect” shown to boys approaching their teens, was a key factor in the family deciding to move from London to Dorset.
“I eventually let Isaac, my eldest son, walk to school with a friend when he was ten. I was following with his brothers, but even so, many parents said they would not let their children walk by themselves. I was reluctant to allow him more than that, although in the end I let him go to the local leisure centre with friends,” she said.
Ms Edwards said that she and her husband, Bill Verkaik, were not particularly worried about abduction, but more about muggers. However, she said that she was dismayed at the reaction of other adults towards Isaac and his friends.
“When people saw a group of young boys, all wearing hoodies because that is what they all wear, they think they are aggressors. I didn’t like the lack of respect he was shown by shopkeepers. And parents really don’t like boys of 10 or 11 going to playgrounds. I didn’t want my son branded an aggressor.”
In Dorchester, where the family now lives, Isaac, now 11, goes to school on his own and has the freedom to go to shops and local parks. He also skateboards in a park, which Ms Edwards says feels much safer than in London. “The freedom we have given him is the single biggest thing Isaac has enjoyed most about moving here. It has really boosted his confidence. He seeks out things he can do independently, and we feel happier about letting him out on his own,” she said.
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Unfortunatley, personal experience suggests that groups of kids are perfectly willing to be agressive.
Luckily I find this is more often expressed verbally, not physically but who can forget the news stories about parents attacked and wounded, even killed, by gangs of kids outside their own homes whe they go out to try and protect their families from abuse?
Whilst a mother may struggle to see the aggression in their own child, to a stranger a group of children of senior school age (11+) are certainly cause for suspicion.
It must be good for kids to be able to escape from direct parental influence. Part of the vaue is in learning to control your own behaviour and that lesson is easier to learn when a community is close, so that bad behaviour will ultimately be reported to parents', in the form of complaints.
In communities without a high level of cohesion, parental supervision helps protect society from kids as well as kids from society.
Bob, Reading,