For every 14 year old who was allowed to drink and became a responsible drinker later, there's someone else with a drink problem who started at the same age. For the most part 14 year olds are still children and should not be pushed into adulthood too early. As was mentioned in this article, too many of them want to "get drunk" instead of just enjoying a glass of wine or beer.
I have to disagree with what was said about the USA (Garth Rex)- yes, it's illegal here to give alcohol to minors, but don't believe they aren't drinnking. Worse still, the culture here is not so horrified about drink-driving, so the consequences are usually far worse.

Toni Hargis, expat, Chicago, USA

I’ve always been allowed alcohol, it has never been something that you have to wait until 18 to get in my parents house, there is even a picture of me in a high chair with my bib on having a sip of white wine at age 2 or 3. So by the time I got to 15 I really wasn’t interested in white lightening in the park when I’d already had a decent glass of red with my dinner.

Saying that my parents wouldn’t have let me have a bottle of wine to take to a party, or let me have alcohol at a party they supervised with my friends because my friends are not their child and it should be up to the individual parent to decide whether alcohol is appropriate for their child. Oh and to the writer who gave her son a bottle of wine to take so he didn’t feel left out, shame on you, encourage him to be an individual and not a sheep, one less binge drinker is a good thing!

Kate, Cheshire, UK

When I was 14 or so my dad always brought me a six-pack if there was a similar party on, with the aim of keeping me off anything stronger than beer. It worked, and I only ventured into spirits many years later, when I could appreciated alcohol more.

My experience at University is that it is those who did not go to the parties when they were younger, and those who were strictly forbidden from touching alcohol before they were 18, who have a problem with drinking. They simply don't know there limits.

I think parents should introduce there children to alcohol early (while they have more influence over their children). Even if it means a couple of bad experiences, everyone finds alcohol sooner or later.

Luke, Cambridge, UK

I was allowed to drink at home in my early teens and was brought up to see alcohol as something that was enjoyed with a meal and that in reasonable quantities could be relaxing. This didn't stop me from having accidental occasions in my later teens when I had too much to drink, but did teach me to be ashamed of these incidents and to drink more sensible amounts from then on. It taught me that it was important to know your own limit and not to get so drunk that you're vulnerable.

SB, Cambridge,

Hello everybody. My name is Alex. I
'm from Ukraine.
In our country children's alcoholism has high popularity because children (between 8 - 16 years) don't have any interests, hobbies. Our government can't ensure completion of social programms for these children ( for example: they simply don't have possibility to go to sport schools that's why their parents don't have sufficient level of salary to give money to children).
Parents can't control children because thay can think how to make money to buy little food to live. There're a lot of people who can't buy anything besides meal.
In future these children will become criminal people. It's one of million problem which has Ukraine.

Alex, Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine

Hello everybody. My name is Alex. I
'm from Ukraine.
In our country children's alcoholism has high popularity because children (between 8 - 16 years) don't have any interests, hobbies. Our government can't ensure completion of social programms for these children ( for example: they simply don't have possibility to go to sport schools that's why their parents don't have sufficient level of salary to give money to children).
Parents can't control children because thay can think how to make money to buy little food to live. There're a lot of people who can't buy anything besides meal.
In future these children will become criminal people. It's one of million problem which has Ukraine.

Alex, Dnepropetrovsk, Ukraine

I once got into a terrible and loud argument with some British friends about how alcohol use is almost nil in Jewish homes. Britain spends an awful lot of time screeching about how terrible Israel is and boycotting it, but as the Anglo-Jewish kids once more run away with the top GCSE 100% results, why doesn't some British sociologist or scientist consult the Anglo-Jewish community about why its kids NEVER get involved with knife culture or alcohol abuse? On another occasion a plummy lady told me how 'ghastly' she thought it was that Jewish kids had to study for that 'appalling bar mitzvah.' Well, studying for bar and bat (girls) mitzvah starts at ten and is fun and a challenge. It also involves a child in learning a second language and another alphabet. Jewish homes pride themselves on the family eating together and discussing world events in an adult way. Jewish kids are encouraged to study music and other side activities. Let's consult the Jewiish community for solutions.

Carol Philips, London, UK

Having a party for a group of fourteen year olds for the express purpose of getting totally plastered is a bad, bad idea as demonstrated in the article. I've just turned 18 and my parents have allowed me to drink at home for a long time. Although I have overindulged on the rare occasion when I've gone out, my introduction to alcohol was gradual and sensible.

I have seen what it can do to people, and would hate to lose my dignity by throwing up in the street and going mad with it. If you take the 'rebellion factor' and the excitement away from getting drunk, maybe young people (and plenty of adults!) wont spend their social time getting drunk just because it's 'what you have to do'.

Amy , Gravesend, Kent

Sophie from Canterbury - did you keep your son on reigns till he was 18 then?!?

If you have sensible parents with well brought up children, a little bit of alcohol every now and then never did anyone any harm.

Eleanor, London,

I see a quote from Georgina Miller about how the adults at the party were drinking as much. Having read her full entry I agree that to a certain extent Adults should lead by example. But to me the fundamental problem about this sort of the comment is the implicit notion that just because adults are doing something kids can too. This is a typical malaise streaking through our culture that kids have rights and that they should be treated like adults. What claptrap.

Moderated drinking under the age of 18 with family members yes. Drinking at 14 at a party with other 14 year olds no.

For those of you who are going to be outraged by my "children are second class citizens" approach tell that to law makers who have made many laws banning certain activites based on age. Children should ALWAYS be treated with dignity but sometimes that means telling them No.

I am amazed the organiser of the party didn't suggest they drive themselves to the party.

Peter, Bromley, UK

Hello,

Alcoholic drinks can be a hobby or interest. Or, they can be an escape or consolation. Only the former is compatible with making the most of one's formative years.
So, let it be said that, for instance, a person should be free to drink beer if she finds it interesting enough to brew it herself, and drink wine if she is interested enough to join a wine appreciation society.

Also, let us recognize that some alcoholic beverages are really alcoholized candy, designed to be marketed to young people not yet ready for real alcohol - and let us for that reason despise those products and those who peddle them. They are part of life-long infancy, and represent a continuation of the taste for over-sweet pop rather than the beginning of a new and more mature palate.

Richard Barrett, Calgary, Canada

Oh dear...
I don't know where liberal principles vanish when it comes to alcohol consumption.
Does the fact that 14 yearolds cannot read Rousseau's ethics mean that they don't apply to them? Your "responsibility" necessitates restraint, which is usually imposed on free human beings either by physical means (vomitting) or through social norms (it's not ok to drink).
And I am afraid that the social norms you would like to enforce on the young population are a bit too strongly influenced by Augustinian conceptions of what 'freedom' is. A bit outdated, no?

Dimitris, Cambridge, MA

My introduction to alcohol came when I was fourteen, I started to accompany older relatives to the pub, my drinking was supervised and would be told when I'd had enough. When someone asked my uncle why he brought my cousin and I to the pub, he replied "because I know where they are in here and can keep an eye on them". My cousin and I learned to drink sensibly and were kept out of trouble.
Today many teenagers are introduced to drinking by friends in parks and street corners drinking cheap 'rocket fuel' vodka, with no guidance. All teenagers will try alcohol, but education on how to drink sensibly is missing today, with binge drinking glorified in the tabloid press and the strict enforcement of 'over 18's rule' in pubs means that young people are not introduced to drinking in a social setting but left to their own devices and at the mercy of misguided peer pressure.

David Jones, Skelmersdale, UK

This is nonsense, my cousin and I had been given alcohol during our early teens. It may sound stupid but it helps later in life, we did get smashed a few times but by the time we reached 16-17 we became very responsible and would know our limits and when to drink. Thanks to our parents we respect alcohol and know the damage it can do to ones body, the horrid hangover experiences have taught us a lesson. Sometimes you must learn from experiences and alcohol is one of those lessons best taught by yourself. Only you, yourself, know your limit and when to say no. However, spirits should not be given to children, only beers and perhaps a wine.

Swishi, London,

A whole bottle of wine for one 14 year old's personal use? What lunacy! When I was 14, my parents would not let me take more than four bottles of lager to a party. I'd inevitably scrounge another couple, but that was outside their control. My parents have continued to place (low) limits on what I can take to parties - but these days I am more often in pubs and clubs. Many of my friends who were given unrestricted access to booze by their parents are regularly ejected for overt drunkeness, but I, being accustomed to having a couple to get me going then stopping, rarely throw up from drinking.

While they may not have led by example, by imposing reasonable limits on my drinking early on, my parents ensured I learned respectable habits.

Jb, Chaldon,

Dear Mrs. Charles, how can you allow your son a bottle of wine? Surely, you know it's criminal offence to supply underage children with alcohol!
Parents should be setting the example for their children, as research (and common sense) shows that children copy whatever happens in their environment. And which child in the right would ask his parents if he may get drunk? I can only appeal to all parents to teach their children the dangers and to look at themselves and set an example

Adam, Lake Constance, Germany

I was one of the 14 year olds (13 at the time) at the party in June that Natasha Charles writes about. Yes, there were a lot of drunken teenagers, but what my friends and i noticed was the fact that the adults in charge appeared to be drinking just as much. Particularly worrying was the sight of a 2 year old toddler (the son of a helper) crawling around amidst the drunken teenagers, with apparently nobody taking much notice of him. If adults are complaining about teenage drinking (i admit i was one of those drinking, although not 'vomiting into my hair'),
what about setting some examples. Who would have helped if someone had needed medical care? Surely Natasha Charles' concern for her teenage son's underage drinking should have over-ruled her being worried about his embarrassment if he hadn't taken a bottle of wine.

Georgina Miller, Andover, UK

Dave Proctor,
Say what you like , but 2 points here .
1, My method worked for my son & daughter, both now grown up & married .
2. The French have huge alcohol problems, including binge drinking !

Just get a look at the figures on alcoholism, why ? because the French give their kids a taste for alcohol by allowing it for children.
Why else do you think they are passing [ if not yet passed ] a law , to put warnings on wine labels like those on cigarrette packets.
Surely they are not doing it for the sake of Brit kids !

Maggie Millington, Brittany , France

It's actually 21 years of ago in the USA and some university campuses have a complete ban on alcohol altogether

M, Boston, MA

AMAZING

Amazing! In the USA, supplying alcohol to minors under the age of 18 makes one subject to both civil and criminal penalties.
Restaurants, bars and supermarkets MUST by law check proof of age before selling alcoholic beverages to young people: Sales to minors under 18 ..are illegal.

Oh, Lord! Please help responsible Britons to take charge of Britain!

Garth Rex, Glendale Heights, USA

I don't know if my experience on this is completely universal but according to the small amount of research I have done it is pretty conclusive. When out drinking with friends (particularly new ones) I tend to ask the same question, "what did you think of beer the first time you drank it?" The response is always, "Disgusting". I have never met anyone who enjoyed their first beer, and this is absolutely right. Alcohol is a poison, the human body is designed not to like it. As a result of this in my early years I would never drink more than a pint or two because it just didn't taste that good (and yes I would rather skip past the fact that I was that I was blatantly just drinking it to fit in). As I grew up I enjoyed the flavour more and as I had been weened onto it gently, found I could drink more. It is this incentive to gradually increase alcohol with age that is destroyed by alcopops and I agree with those who advocate a ban on these sickly sweet psuedo drinks.

All power to CAMRA

dave, worthing, uk

I recently had a teenager living with me, and for her sixteenth birthday she wanted a party. Her father said no alcohol except for a light punch which he would make.

It went down well as it was impossible to tell how potent it was, and they all had a lovely evening. Providing a controlled punch proved to be a success. There was alcohol, but,in fact, very little.

Sarah Hague, Montpellier, France

My son was allowed wine or beer at family occasions. When he was 13 my mother made a bet with him that he would not drink spirits, take dope or smoke cigarettes until he was 18 - if he won the bet he would get £300, a sum I gladly doubled. Every time he expressed a wish to do one of those, I just said "Fine darling, no problem, but it will mean you will lose your bet" He hates losing. He drank a lot of lager when he was 16/17/18 but he won his bet. It's impossible to say no to everything, especially for a young man
The key is to make the bet before your child starts smoking or boozing.

Sophie, Canterbury,

lt is a sad fact of life that not just children (13 - 17 years) but even adults cannot conceive of a good time without alcohol and or drugs. When my 17 year old was nearly 18, my husband advise him that he would not want him to consider being teetotal. "You dont want to be a sissy" !!!! Now he is a full fledge alcoholic and gets drunk every weekend. His father is diagnosed with liver cancer so you can see that alcoholism runs in his family. Children will follow the examples set by their parents and if one glamourises alcohol, then the likelihood of them being alcoholics are extremely high. ln the Western world, alcohol is part of everyday life and it is a vicious circle as life gets worse with the growing number of alcoholics. l think alcohol should be treated like smoking and should be restricted as to where you can drink, not around kids, not at workplace, not in public, not in vehicles, and it should have a unaffordable tax on it.

Virginia, brisbane, Australia

I am told that tea and coffee can be also harmful.
Were will it all end ?

Bernard Parke, Guildford,

It's interesting that no one has brought up the damage alcohol and drugs can do to the developing mind of teenagers. There are significant
As a parent it isn't a question of should my child have a drink or not. The issue is what kind of permenant damage will be done if my child drinks alcohol on a regular basis.

Jill Fish, Marshall , Michigan, USA

Absolutely!

My best friend at school came from a very English middle-middle class family, with lots of aunties, uncles, godparents and so on. From the age of sixteen or so, almost every birthday card she received from them was alcohol-themed. It was actually rather patronising - 'Time to drink yourself silly, you kerazy party girl, you!' being the general message - except that you could tell that the relatives all thought this was THE way to spend one's birthday, too. It looked totally pathetic, all these Baby Boomers/ Generation X-ers, desperate to look cool and totally devoid of any sense of imagination themselves.

A lot of my friends had families like that, and from the age of 13 or so, Bacardi Breezers were dutifully provided at birthday parties. Everyone could reel off alcopop brand names. At first, I worried that I wouldn't look cool for not being au fait with it. Now I simply find the glorification of binge drinking incredibly BORING and depressing.

Amy Allen, Paris, France

As the parent of two teenagers, and as someone who abstained from alcohol until I was 30 because of the effects of having an alcoholic sister living at home with us, I have given this situation careful thought. I decided that whilst I did not want either of my children to become embroiled in the 'lets get drunk till we vomit' culture neither did I want to send them down the road of illicit drinking.

When my daughters birthday arrived and the request for alcohol was discussed. Hosting a houseful of drunken teenagers was NOT my plan. We discussed the issue and we agreed that my daughter was allowed ONE of the alcopops for each of the partygoers, (so long as parental consent had been sought) after that .. it was back to the coke and lemonade.

Banning alcohol will only make it more desireable to kids, teaching them to respect it is the key.

Val, Durham, UK

This article is the most ridiculous load of nonsense I have ever read. What child in their right mind asks a parent if they can get drunk?

Of course teenagers should be exposed to alcohol, and of course some will get drunk, it's called growing up. It hardly sounds like a supervised party with people laying on the grass throwing up.

When I was a teenager, beer and cider was always allowed at parties, some got drunk, some got merry and a good time was had by all. Why on earth would you give a 14 year old a bottle of wine to take to a party?

Vanessa, London, UK

I went to boarding school and the people who abused alcohol the most were always the ones who were never allowed it at home. As soon as something is not allowed, it becomes popular. If you didn't get drunk at school then university was a baptism by fire!

This description of a 14 year old's party doesn't sound fantastic but actually I imagine most of the children learnt a few lessons that night and at least they were being supervised - if someone had been seriously ill, one hopes that the adults would have acted responsibly. So, in fact, perhaps it is better to allow children to experience alcohol at a supervised party, rather than wait for them to do their first bit of binge drinking on their own, which may have very dire consequences indeed.

Catharine Gregory, Bristol, UK

I'm still fuming 6 hours after reading the article by Natasha Charles - what planet is she on? No it is not right to buy a bottle of wine for a 14 year old (is't it a criminal offence?). No it is not right for a parent to run a booze party for 14 year olds. By participating she is as guilty as the parents of the young people roaming the streets causing mayhem and the fact that the children in her article attend boarding school is quite irrelevant - if anything their parents should know better.

Peter Crossley, Taunton, Somerset

What happened to grey? Why is the discussion so black & white? Responsible parents take no notice of age 14, 16 and 18 as absolutes, but rather defuse by giving with one hand and - I guess - controlling with the other. Get your kids drinking as soon as they want, 14+, but make in Friday/Saturday only, and buy in the small stubbies of beer or cider (25 ml, I think, of strength 2.5 or similar). They think they are winning, but you are. Prepare your kids for life, help them,guide them (Youngest son just got 3 'A's at 'A' Level today; I am his Dad and his friend. Drink was not a problem, though it would havebeen if I had said No, wait till you're 18).

Dan Pearce, Worcester, UK

People.

Us humans are pleasureable beings, we seek pleasure. This is why we dabble in drugs such as alcohol. You will never stop teenagers experimenting with drugs unless our laws change to allow executions of drug dealers etc, (not an agreeable image). I believe that if the kid is bought up reasonably well, they will grow up to be reasonable people. Lets face it, it must be close to 100% of tenagers who get drunk before they are 18, but I don't think 100% of teenagers will grow up to have severe drug related problems. Kids are kids, humans are humans, life is life, get on with it and enjoy it.

Ewan , sherborne,

L.S.,

Reading about a possible law that would prosecute parents who allow children under 15 to drink at home I find absolutely absurd.

Perhaps me being Dutch means that I have a more liberal outlook on certain things but it is only eight years ago that I was fifteen. My parents allowed me the odd drink at home, and they allowed me to go to the local pub for the first time at the age of fifteen being escorted by my two older sisters. We merely went to the pub to meet our friends. I find that interest decreases when things are allowed. Just as with legalising drugs, because it is allowed it is no big deal.

Hearing the news about possibly increasing the drinking age to 21, shocks me. Should England turn into a nation like America, where IDs are continuously faked, and where binge drinking is seen as massively popular anywhere where teenagers can get together to get drunk?

I hope not.Surely if teenagers and parents are given a choice they will make their own sensible mind up

de Wit, Bath, Somerset

How very sad that we do not see Alcohol like the other drugs in society.

It is also too true that as parents we do not set the example. My friend sees nothing wrong with having a few glasses of wine after work on the couch - getting to a "buzz" to unwind, but you know his son and daughter are taking notes.

Giving your children alcohol for parties and endorsing the behaviour instead of taking the itme to present rational balanced information on the effect of alcohol is a cop out. Our children are not idiots, they can not be snowballed with a one-sided argument but I would be confident in saying if presented with a balanced represnetation of why people drink and the "pleasurable" effects along with the negatives, they will make a responsible choice. Especially if backed up with our own behaviour that reflects that position.

"Do as I say not as I do" does not cut it and neither does, "drink till you get drunk and learn that way" Ver, very sad and disturbing

Nigel Harrison, Charlotte, NC. USA

During my late teens and years at University it was evident which of my peers had not had much experience of drinking at home. Hugging toilet bowls or throwing up in the streets they were many who were for the first time indulging in alcohol... and not knowing how to control themseleves.

Yes I think it is okay for a parent to provide alcohol for their children - providing it is done sensibly. What's wrong with introducing a toast to the birthday boy/girl with Bucks Fizz and then providing a few bottles of beers, wine and lemonade to make palletable spritzers or shandies? What isn't appropiate is providing alcopops which are as tasty and 'drinkable' as fizzy drinks.

I have always had wine during meals and parties with my family and it meant that I quickly learnt the optimum level of alcohol - and when to pause and have a glass of water. My first hangover was after a family Christmas Eve party where I was safely tucked up in my home - not a 20-year-old single female hailing a cab.

Lara, Brighton, east sussex

Amazing. Despite the law, despite the medical or sociological evidence you wish us to debate the merits of giving 14 year olds alcohol so that they can get drunk. As justification you seem to be offering the view that they would do it anyway so better if a couple adults watch them vomit.
I understand the concept of preparing young people for adulthood and recognise that alcohol use is part of being an adult for many. But what you describe is not parenting, it is just passing the buck as you do not wish to risk competing with peer pressure.

darrill, Crawley, UK

I strongly disagree with encouraging children/teenagers to drink with the ambition of getting drunk. They should be allowed to try some wine with dinner if the parents are drinking but stronger alcohols shouldn't be allowed. I think alcopops should be banned as it's like drinking fruit juice and teenagers have no idea how much alcohol they're drinking.
As a side point - many many young French people drink with the intention of getting drunk. However I think they tend to do it in their own homes rather than out in the streets like they do in UK. But I find that in both countries, the next day/week young people will be boasting about just how drunk and incapable they were - it's still seen as a status symbol and until that changes, young people will continue to drink and drink and drink....

Beth, Paris,

What an awfully puritanical opinion. My parents gladly gave me a little wine/ wine and water at mealtimes because it was better to learn to drink sensibly, rather than sneak out to the park and have a mint on the way home to hide the smell of cheap lager and ciggarettes. This stood me in good stead, I learnt to be sensible and moderate and self disciplined under the guidance of my parents, rather than go out to the pub for the first time at 17-18 and binge terribly and regret it.

By not taking responsibility for educating your children about alcohol, i am certain you are doing them more damage in the long run as they head off out into the world to binge drink themselves into oblivion, unlike our continental neighbours where the binge drinking is not an issue!

Helen Gordon, London, UK

What did the mother expect if they all took a bottle of wine? She should have given her son what she would have taken to a party when she was that age (a couple of cans of beer or a bottle of cider in my day). No wonder the party degenerated into a pewkfest............and thankfully not a b*nkfest if girls were there.

Chris, Birmingham,

Drinking amongst young people is all too common from around 14. Even if you let yours have the odd drink at home this does not stop them going out to friends' houses and getting trashed. Some parents do not seem to be bothered by this; others try to limit what they consume at their homes but teenagers are devious and smuggling alcohol into verious places is not uncommon. Landlords etc are also pretty lax. My 16 year old has been served in pubs and wine bars without being asked for any ID. I don't know how we change the mentality that getting drunk is cool. Even hearing stories of teenagers who have suffered tragic accidents when drunk does not seem to do the trick.

Gill S, Walton on Thames,

Maybe you could keep a better check on what your children are doing if you didn't pack them off to boarding school. As for Maggie in France, what you did is the opposite of what they do in France, where they are introduced to alcohol at an early age. And we all know which country has the most problems with teenage drinking.

Dave Proctor, Leeds,

What a sickening article this is & all too true.
Parents should have far more guts to say NO, to their children when they ask for a glass of wine, if they see their parents drinking it.
All the present drinking excess comes to right down to lack of parental control , in my view.
I remember how lonely I felt when saying NO, to both my son & my daughter if they asked for a glass, I was the wicked witch & the spoil sport.
My friends would also tell me I was being too harsh, but
I have no regrets & neither do my children, now.
I always said when they were 18 my job would be done & they would then have to self disciplined & responsible for themselves, until then they were never going to be allowed to drink in the house ,in my company, or with my consent .
Whatever they did behind my back would always be governed about my feelings on this, & coming home smelling of alcohol would never have been accepted.
Alcohol leads to , unwanted pregnancy, drugs , STD's & a whole raft of problems.

Maggie Millington, Brittany , France

NO do not provide alcohol to 14 year olds.

We lived in Europe and our children did start to appreciate alcohol as a drink with a meal. However on returning to Australia the anglo "drink to get drunk" culture was omnipresent.

Even though we refuse to serve alcohol to under 18s and it is also illegal - horror stories abound.

My personal examples at a couple of 16 year old parties include:
* one girl arriving with so much alcohol she could barely carry the bag
* one mother arriving as the courier with alcohol
* the same mother telling us that one 16 year old was a known alcoholic - we asked for her parents to collect her
* finding condoms and lubricant in the garden
* having to call the parents to take home a boy who was so drunk he had to be hospitalised
* having a party crashed by boys from another school who proceeded to throw a bottle at me, assault my wife and maliciously damage our car.

I was no prude as a teenager but there seems so little parental guidance.

once bitten, Sydney, Australia