As a 25 year old female, I have no inclination to get married and even less to have children. A lot of my old school friends are married and have children but I can't name one that doesn't regret their decision to do it all so early. It's not that I don't believe in loving relationships as I was with my last boyfriend for 5 years and I have a great relationship with my family. The recurring theme seems to be that my friends who didn't leave our hometown, go to university or get a profession seem to have chosen early motherhood and marriage but that's just not for me.

In school, throughout university and in the media I don't think the sanctity of marriage or motherhood was ever really promoted to me. Careers, travelling, active social lives and "~getting what you want" are more in the limelight. I enjoy planning my next holiday, looking at post-grad courses, keeping fit, going to festivals and going out. My friends with children can rarely do these things and I do not envy that.

Lisa, Avon, UK

The western civilisation is eating up itself. Most westerners refuse to get married and give birth to children. It is thus no surprise to find one day immigrants outnumbering natives.You like to enjoy your life outside the marriage bond, OK but be ready to reap the fruits of the seeds you are sowing.

Nabil Christian, Cairo,

Whether by accident, design or more likely plain ineptitude, successive UK governments have made marriage in UK a far less attractive option. Thus high rate of marriage failure becomes a component part of a clinically depressed society in terminal meltdown. It crosses my mind that subsumption of the UK branch of the Caucasian race is part of their cunning plan. So boys, if you opt for a foreign-born spouse, do not on any account bring her back to Britain, because in no time Feminism indoctrination will turn her into the type of person you were trying to avoid. It's not like this in Japan; married people don't throw in the towel at the slightest provocation. So if you do take a foreign-born spouse, do it as an integral part of your emigration strategy. Surely you don't still believe there's only one person in the world that's right for you.

Andrew Milner, Karuizawa, Japan

As a youngish person (31), it's also that there are simply less of us around. I am married but most of my schoolfriends swore they would never get married after many of them saw their parents go through emotionally devastating, financially crippling divorces. The plain truth for 85% of the population is that marriage and children rarely works out well, particularly for the women. With both parents having to work and tremendous amounts of debt, usually mortgage and not necessarily consumer related, it's a commitment you really have to think very carefully about. Not to mention constant employment insecurity and the farcical 'war on terror' which noone believes in. It is all too often a far more attractive option to buy a little studio, be independent and get a couple of cats if you feel lonely.

M, Sydney, Australia

I'm a solvent man, not on benefits and its not the tax situation that scares me away from marriage, but the divorce situation. By signing a marriage certificate I place my financial future in the hands of another person who can decide to end the marriage at any time for any reason and take a significant portion of my past, present and future earnings, all enforced by the full power of the state.

In addition, access to any children that result is entirely dependent on the goodwill of the now divorced wife in not making unprovable allegations.

So the state wants me to sign a contract with a 50% chance of being financially wiped out in return for?? Certainly it doesn't guarantee being able to raise your child

Equality in divorce is necessary before I'll sign that state enforced contract, or a drastic fall in the divorce rate.

Most of my well off friends feel exactly the same way except for those already married who live in constant fear that their wife may get bored and wipe them out

John, Cambridge,

Perhaps in schools, in 'Personal & Social Education' classes, the pupils, instead of being asked, "When do you you feel a relationship would be right for you?" should be asked instead, "When do you think you would be ready to marry & raise a family?"

Dave, Wrexham,

Lets face it the morality of todays youngsters is nothing less than animal like. Young women sleep around and then live
with a guy for years, have children and then get married in white. What a joke. I recommend the following. No girl should be allowed to wear white on her wedding day unless she is a virgin. If she is not a virgin but only had pre-marital
sex with the guy she is marrying then her dress would be coffee cream color. If she has had sex with more than one
individual then it would be choclate brown. Again, for flowers
she could have a flower bouquet if she is a virgin. If not she
has to have a bouquet of broccli or brussels sprouts.

bill/usa

bill, phoenix, usa

This is just the natural result of market forces devaluating marriage for both parties, but in particular the man. The marriage vows and pre-nupt contracts are not binding. People give up after a couple years due to unrealistic expectations of marriage and no-fault divorce laws. For a man in these times, the most ill advised financial decision he could make would be to get married.

Brad, Seattle, Washington, USA

What a pity this article does not correspond to the report it refers to. If you go to the national statistics website and view the original data you will find that marriage is up and divorce is down. No wonder the article does not include a hot link!

Mike Saunders, Hampshire, UK

Perhaps only gay people should be allowed to marry and we ban heterosexual marriage. Modern marriage is does not work. I know, I've done it twice.

William Allen, Pasadena, CA, USA

Marriage was always only for the wealthy. It's about property inheritance - a modern thing to get ordinary people to marry legally.
We are returning to the older tradition of ordinary people "handfasting" often witnessed by family and friends.
That's not a problem; it worked well for many centuries.

But

1) Full time parenting is not supported. A non-employed partner should be able to transfer their tax allowances.

2) A couple on benefits should get 2 whole allowances.

3) Life marriage was not often more than 20 years. Long lived modern people can't sustain it.
We need renewable contracts for 1 year, 5, 10, 15, 20 and life, the longer options available once shorter ones completed. This is realistic, settles paternity, prevents sour unions causing destruction to children.

4) Parental authority should attach to a father if mother puts his name on the birth certificate. Currently only married men are fathers with rights. Unmarried men must get a parental authority certificate.

Shan, Newport Wales, Wales UK

Marriage dosent mean anything anymore. You can just get a divorce. Why would anyone chose to limit their own freedom only to get divorced and have some kid leech off you for 18 years. People will stop having children next.

Pete, London, UK

divorce rates over 50%...... catholic churchs into all manner of sexual scandals..... CofE split down the middle..... no wonder people aren't getting married. Add to this the high cost (where is the marriage credit for 1st time weddings!?) and the incentives to remain single and its a wonder there are any weddings at all.
Single moms vote Labor so therea voting base right there!

Graham Williams, london,

If my wife and I were each paid half of my salary, instead of her staying at home and caring for the kids, we would be hundreds of pounds a month better off --- even after childcare.

All governments like to say that they support 'the family', but none of them do. If they said "you can afford a stay-at-home spouse, you are privileged, we'll tax you more" then I could at least respect that.

We even hear of 'tax credits' being proposed to get families back on track! Unecessary: just remove the MASSIVE tax penalty, where one person's tax allowance is just wiped off the map because they choose to prioritise their children.

John H Woods, Stratford-upon-Avon, Warks

it is in labours interest to create single parents. after all who else is going to vote for them!

bill townsend, london,

Isn't it far more likely that people are increasingly less religious, especially CofE and so are choosing to have civil cerenomys instead?

I think the report itself pretty much admits they have gone up at the rate religious mariages have gone down.

If people were marrying for the right reasons anyway e.g. with a church, for religious reasons, tax credits etc etc shouldn't make any effect anyway, so it is far more likely to be with other reasons. I think it would be a far more interesting report when compared with the numbers who called themselves religious/attended church on the dates it compared.

Personally I'm of the impression that people undertake marriage way too lightly and the existance of tax credits and such make a hard decision even harder. There shouldn't be a medieval concept of "everyone must be married" or "children out of wedlock" nowadays. I honestly believe forcing people into marriage who wouldn't otherwise is worse for the child.

Seb, London,

The Church of England suffered from quite a severe public divorce in the sixteenth century; perhaps Catholicism is the best option!


I can't see how the Church of England suffered it was created for the drivorce and then a marriage !!!

kt, London,

This government has its priorities wrong. The article states its better off being a single parent and getting all the tax credits going! Sounds like a farse.

I got married two years ago and it was not cheap, but I feel it was well worth it. It does irk me however that couples are financially better when not married. I would say its the initial cost is the main factor that puts most people off getting married. Typically thousands of £'s, and even the less expensive options will not be cheap. With more expensive houses and lifestyles in general its hardly surprising less people choose to marry.

The high cost of weddings also mean its unlikely people are going to be doing it for a few pounds of tax credit a year. Yet that small benefit was removed, why? Its just another stealthy tax increase against those who are going to sit there and take it. Plus think of the VAT collected on all the purchases people make for weddings.

Want more people to marry?
Make weddings tax free!

Jonathan, Lisburn,

"Since 1981 the number of unions that were first for both partners has fallen by over a third". Those wishing to marry a second time have difficulty or are not allowed to marry in a church hence 66 per cent of marriages being civil since 1992.
Marriage is still a popular option for us ladies, but with the guys at risk of losing most of what they have worked for in the case of divorce who can blame them for being more than just cautious.

Lola, surrey, uk

It is not just the tax system, but also the whole state benefit systen which encourages children out of wedlock and staying single.

Hamad Lond, London, England

The Labour Government are totally anti-family! Their policies fuel the breakdown of our society, anti social behaviour, crime et al. Solution? Get rid of Labour at the earliest opportunity and just hope all the damage can be undone!

Rod Ballard, Leicester,

'A Church of England spokesman said: “Marriage affirms the goodness and rightness of love, affirms this in the public sphere, and is the best option for couples to grow together in mutual support.”'

The Church of England suffered from quite a severe public divorce in the sixteenth century; perhaps Catholicism is the best option!

Des, Edinburgh,

And that's with all of the arranged marriages popular in some of the UK's cultures !

edward johns, Lannion, France