Eat Out from £5

Monday March 25: Among my old contacts in the Foreign Office I cannot find any who can convincingly demonstrate that something dramatic has changed in Iraq in recent months which would produce a justification for military action that was not there a year ago.

Wednesday April 3: Tony came in a few minutes before he had to address the house and sat down beside me. He was about to fly over to the States to see Bush at his private ranch. I took the opportunity to say to him, "I hope you're going to avoid getting boxed in to any commitments to action on Iraq." He looked a bit taken aback and asked me to come and see him after the proceedings.

We went along to his room in the corridor behind the Speaker's chair where he asked me bluntly, "How serious is it?" I replied, "It could be terminal for you if it goes wrong."

Thursday April 11: At cabinet Tony reported in full on his visit. Pat Hewitt spoke up bravely on the importance of UN cover for any military action on Iraq. "There will be a lot of tension among the Muslim communities in Britain if an attack on Iraq is seen as a unilateralist action. They would find it much easier to understand, and we would find it much easier to sell, if there was a specific agreement at the UN on the need for military action."

Tony characteristically refused to be boxed in. He regards the UN process as important but "we should not tie ourselves down to doing nothing unless the UN authorised it". Rather more alarmingly he said, "The time to debate the legal base for our action should be when we take that action."

Thursday April 18: Cabinet was preoccupied with the aftermath of the budget, which Tony described as "a brilliant budget, brilliantly delivered". The press are full of speculation about the tension between Tony and Gordon. Undoubtedly the tension is there, and Tony has reluctantly come to grasp Gordon's undimmed ambition to replace him. But it would be a big mistake to regard their relationship as only one of tension. Tony's admiration of Gordon's political skills is genuine, and there's a strong bond between them which in any other circumstances would border on a mutual psychological dependency.

Wednesday June 26: I am to play substitute at prime minister's questions as Tony is out of the country. I walk across the park to get in training at No 10. The only perk about standing in for the prime minister at question time is that you are allowed the use of his empty office. My preparations are interrupted by the sight of Euan and a friend kicking a ball in the back garden, a charming reminder that the heart of the British government doubles up as a family home.

Contrary to popular myth, Tony is actually very indifferent to what the press say about him and his government, so long as the public say the right things about us.

There is no television in his room and it takes the press office three-quarters of an hour to come up with a transistor radio so that I can hear the news. I am, though, willed to concentrate by an astonishing array of photographs on his desk, of Tony with Cherie, of Tony with his teenagers, of Tony with baby Leo, of Tony with Clinton and assorted other global celebrities. It leaves me feeling rather inadequate at the memory of the modest pair of photographs on my desk - of Gaynor hugging Tasker, one of our dogs, and of Red Rum on the beach where he trained.

Thursday August 15: I stopped off at the local newsagent, and was intrigued to find that the Spectator front page was a cartoon of myself and Clare Short trying to stop Blair in a tank going to war on Iraq. When I buy it, the proprietor looks distastefully at the cartoon and asks, "Do you not mind, Sir, being drawn this way? In some countries they would be sent to gaol for such a cartoon." I explained to him that in this country we don't take journalists that seriously.

Tuesday September 3: Tony gave the second of his new monthly press conferences to the press gallery. He promises "the fullest possible debate" in parliament and emphasises the importance of building broad international support for action at the UN. I am, though, haunted by the fear that Tony still sees this as an issue of manipulating press and public opinion, and has not grasped that on the substance of the issue the public and he are so far apart that he cannot win this one. Over the years, those employed to support him at No 10 have become accustomed to the Blair magic working, and I fear that there are none left among them prepared bluntly to tell him that this time it cannot work. continued on page 2

Wednesday September 4: It is a glorious day and I walk across the park for my meeting at No 10 with Tony. I open up with the recall of parliament. "Recall is inevitable, and the longer we put it off the more grudging we appear and the less credit we will get for it when it happens." To my surprise, Tony readily agrees.