The ratings of Celebrity Big Brother — see all titles, daily — dropped last week from 7.1m to around 3m. By coincidence, this is about the same number of people who watched coverage of the Chelsea Flower Show last summer. So why is there quite so much fuss about Celebrity Big Brother, and relatively little about Chelsea? Luckily, we now have the very latest flower show footage . . .

Monday: Viewers are agog to see which celebrity visitor will be first to have sex at the show. The bookies’ favourite is Alan Titchmarsh, but he has already been rebuffed by the Duchess of Kent.

Tuesday: Jade Goody arrives unexpectedly at the Chelsea Flower Show with her mother, Jackiey. The show organisers immediately divide the celebrity visitors — some will sip Pimm’s on a well-trimmed lawn, but the rest will be expected to do Jade’s weeding.

Wednesday: There is uproar in the camp. HM The Queen says she is not working for Jade any more. “It is doing one’s head in,” she complains. Given a leg up by the Duchess of Kent, she escapes over the wall.

Thursday: Huge row in the garden as Rachel de Thame accuses Charlie Dimmock of using a hoe while wearing just a singlet just so she can impress the male celebrities.

Friday: It is revealed that Chantelle, the surprise contestant, knows nothing about gardening.

Luckily, there was other Celebrity Big Brother news. Preston, a contestant from last year’s show, stormed off the set of Never Mind the Buzzcocks, a BBC2 music quiz, when the host was rude about his wife, Chantelle.

Simon Amstell, the presenter, was reading out extracts from Chantelle’s autobiography. She became famous last year after winning Celebrity Big Brother, despite being completely unknown. In The Sun report, there was no news of whether she would be attending this year’s Chelsea Flower Show.