Spare a thought today for Su and Ernest, a married couple from London who have lived happily and blamelessly together for more than 20 years. Yet as Su took the handsome Ghanaian-born lawyer to be her lawful wedded husband, she little could have realised the horror ahead. Who could have guessed what life would have in store for Mrs Doku — Su Doku.

Her name is everywhere. Open a newspaper and you’re bound to find some reference to Su Doku. She is cursed by people in homes and offices around the country as “impossible” and “very difficult” and “absolutely fiendish”. She is an obsession.

But if it’s any consolation to fans who struggle with the Japanese number puzzles, their namesake can’t do them either. She tries The Sun’s version, but admits: “I just can’t finish it.”

The paper reports: “Su, 54, was stunned to see the game on the front of The Sun.” She says: “I’ve become a bit of a celebrity. When I tell people my name, they think I’m winding them up.”

Oh yes, there is little that newspapers enjoy more than an embarrassing name. A search of the electoral register reveals a man living quietly in the West Midlands under the name of Saddam Hussain. There is also a voter called Ivor Bigun, but his address looks suspiciously like a student hall of residence.

And compared with some, Su Doku gets off lightly. The Sunday Times once reported the plight of a lady called Rosie Bottom. To avoid embarrassment, she thought she and her husband might hyphenate their names. Then she realised this would only make it worse: she’d be Rosie Paton-Bottom.

By chance, The Sun was taking an interest in rosie bottoms last week. Bright red suntanned skin was mentioned as one of the biggest turn-offs for men seeking a holiday romance. Women travellers should also avoid ill-fitting bikinis, armpit hair, white strap marks, streaky tans, cellulite, tattoos, body piercing and getting drunk.

Who’d have thought that men were so fussy? Especially since they’ve got nothing to boast about. Sun travel editor Lisa Minot reports: “Skintight Speedo swimming trunks, medallions, knotted hankies, open-toe sandals worn with socks, and beer guts were voted the top-five turn-offs for women in a survey.”

If you’re stuck at home this summer, Big Brother continues to set new viewing standards. In one of the show’s highlights last week, bookies favourite Max clambered into bed with housemate Saskia, touched her bottom and moaned: “I’m so randy.” But she told him: “Buzz off, your breath stinks.”

Truly, this is the golden age of television.