Mosquitoes have been pestering the Dalai Lama, the Tibetan spiritual leader, because under the rules of his Buddhist faith he cannot kill them. “When I’m trying to sleep the loud buzzing of mosquitoes and their bites really annoy me,” he told a German television chat show. The Dalai Lama, 69, maintains his customary tranquility until he gets bitten twice, and then allows himself to shoo the mosquitoes away in a non-violent manner.

Career setback of the week

A bridegroom injured 15 guests at his wedding after shooting at an apple, a traditional part of the ceremony in Serbia that is supposed to bring luck. A pistol is usually used, but the 47-year-old preferred a shotgun and accidentally peppered his guests with shot. The groom, a police marksman, was arrested.

Domestic incident of the week

A radio presenter who flirted on air with Jodie Marsh has paid a terrible price. Kerrang 105.2’s Tim Shaw told the glamour model that he’d leave his wife and children for her, little suspecting that his wife, Hayley, was listening. In revenge she sold Shaw’s £25,000 Lotus Esprit Turbo for 50p on eBay.

The description read: “I need to get rid of this car immediately — ideally in the next two to three hours before my husband gets home to find it gone and all his belongings in the street.” Hayley, 27, told The Birmingham Post:

“He was all over her during the interview. It was pathetic. The car is his pride and joy, but the idiot put my name on the logbook. I am sick of being disrespected.”

A Kerrang spokesman said Shaw was “gutted”.

Gourmet of the week

Landscape architect Ed Brooks, 29, ate his way through 48ft of stinging nettles to taste victory in the World Nettle Eating Championship held at the Bottle Inn, Marshwood, Dorset. A spokesman for the Bottle Inn said the champion’s nearest rival was disqualified after “a stomach evacuation incident”.

Titter of the week

The village of Bell End has been voted rudest place name in Britain by viewers of UKTV Gold. It beat Twatt, on both Orkney and Shetland, Three Cocks in Powys, and Six Mile Bottom, Cambridgeshire. And where is Bell End? In Worcestershire, not far from Lickey End.

Manoeuvres of the week

Lieutenant Ksenia Agarkova has been named Miss Russian Army 2005 after a contest shown live on Russian television. The engineer beat 18 other finalists, who paraded along a catwalk in their uniforms and then sang a moving ballad that included the words: “Since we’re soldiers, our first concern is automatic weapons — boys come second.”