HOWZAT

“I would never, ever have a book critic or someone who wants to be esoteric or wordy about literature come and review on the show,” she says. “I just don’t think most people want books to be discussed in an uptight fashion any more. They just want to chat about them.”

Ross says most of the authors she fosters (many of whom are haut literati) agree with her — with one notable exception. “There’s only one book I regret choosing for the show, Brick Lane by Monica Ali. I only put it on because I thought it would make the list look broad, but have you actually read it? It makes you want to give up after 40 pages.”

Ali, it turns out, was pretty po-faced about the whole R&J experience and snubbed the pair by not turning up to their awards show. “You shouldn’t be sniffy about the machine that’s making you money,” says Ross. “It’s just rude. We now know that we’re really helping someone’s career, and I don’t want to give that opportunity to a horrible person who is sniffy about Richard & Judy.

“I don’t even get what her problem is. When I put Julian Barnes on the list lots of critics got quite uppity and said he won’t do anything like that. But Julian loved it. He raved about it. And why shouldn’t he? We brought his amazing book to a huge audience he wouldn’t have got otherwise.”

Did you really not like Ali’s book or is this sour grapes? “No, I absolutely hated it. But then it’s a problem with quite a few British authors. I’d love to have a completely British list, for example, but Americans are still better at writing good commercial reads, especially with their first books. British authors always want to start on a literary bent, then a few novels in — if they’re still being published and feeling brave enough — they write something commercial. I think Kate Mosse is a perfect example of that.”

Opinions like this hold great sway at the publishing houses, where Ross can now demand a book’s release date be moved or even that its cover be changed. You can even thank her for halting the proliferation of girlie-looking books in Waterstone’s.

“When Cecelia Ahern’s PS, I Love You was selected as a summer read I told HarperCollins to ditch the pink because husbands and wives like to swap books on holiday and a man isn’t going to sit by the pool reading a bright pink book. I told them to make it blue and, hey presto, she sold a million copies.”

Do they give you fantastic bribes? “Because of Ofcom (the TV regulator) I can’t make any money out of the book club at all. I’ve never even got a bouquet.”

You’re telling me Gail Rebuck (head of Random House and queen of publishing) has never sent you flowers? “Okay yes, Gail has sent me flowers,” she giggles. “She’s a lovely woman, although she’s probably the reason publishers are always bullying my PA to tell them when I’m going on holiday. Gail gave me The Time Traveller’s Wife to read in Italy a couple of years ago and it jumped straight onto the list, so now they know if I take one of their books away with me it will get my attention.”

The attention-grabbing doesn’t stop there. To try to make their submission stand out, desperate publishers have taken to theming their entries. “One sent me bottles of wine with book labels on and a note explaining that each vintage shared the same characteristics with the book. Though my personal favourite was when Charlotte Bush (a publicist) submitted the novel Frangipani by dressing up the box with flowers and arriving in person wearing a lei. Top marks, although I didn’t like the book at all.”

When she reveals her next set of choices on November 27 the bonhomie will end. “Some publishers get so angry with me,” she says, “that I’m scared to go to half the Christmas parties. But I don’t care about them so much as authors whose books won’t get any attention unless they get on the show.”

She sighs and says the palaver is so pressured that she loses a lot of sleep. “And what’s funny is that the whole thing is built on a great big irony. I don’t have any real literary knowledge. I have a taste, I have a palate, but if somebody wants to be a smart arse with me it would be very easy to trip me up.

“I suppose it’s a bit odd for the most powerful person in publishing to admit this,” she laughs, “but I don’t really know anything about books at all.”

Sweat-smudged copies of Cloud Atlas in beach bags everywhere might disagree.