Britney Spears filed for divorce last week, and immediately began a battle with her husband over custody of the publicity.

According to the Daily Mirror, Britney broke the news to Kevin Federline by text message. She then slipped into a little black dress with a plunging neckline and headed for the nearest cluster of photographers.

Then, once she’d finished showing everybody what Kevin would be missing in future, she went ice skating with her manager. More photographers were on hand to capture the moment.

Kevin, meanwhile, was completely unprepared for the publicity onslaught. With no plunging neckline to show off, he found himself completely outflanked. “While Britney was out and about, her 28-year-old hubby was holed up in a Chicago hotel room drowning his sorrows,” reported The Sun.

News of Britney’s divorce — she cited irreconcilable differences — overshadowed the other big story of the week. No, not the news that Sarah Harding from Girls Aloud is “gagging for it” — as reported in The Sun — but the line-up of this year’s I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.

The hot favourite is Norman St John Stevas, and the producers are excited to have signed up Jeanette Krankie and — from beyond the grave — Little Jimmy Clitheroe, star of The Clitheroe Kid.

All right, perhaps not, but they couldn’t be much more unlikely than the real cast of the series, which includes former newsreader Jan Leeming, David Gest (best known as the former Mr Liza Minnelli) and an actress called Phina Oruche, who is pictured in the Daily Express wearing a belt featuring the word Oruche.

This show is well known for stretching the word “celebrity”, but never before has it signed up somebody who has to consult her belt before remembering who she is.